The toilet ring of potty training
If a "silver lining" is the metaphor for an unexpected glimmer of hope from a seemingly otherwise gloomy situation, then the ugly grey ring around a toilet bowl that has seen more than its fair share of use between cleanings is the metaphorical equivalent of an unexpected negative from the otherwise positive benefits of a potty trained preschooler.
A lot of current parent literature tells us that using the phrase potty "training" is no longer socially acceptable because it invokes some sort of negative imagery of toddlers as lower life forms being conditioned into using a potty in the same way lab rats can be trained to push a lever to get a treat. It says instead that we should use the phrase potty "learning". It's somehow more accurate and less demeaning. Whatever. Saying "Bobbin is potty learned" sounds a bit weird. And I wouldn't know whether I should actually pronounce learned in this context as "learn-ed". Which just makes me giggle. So instead I'll say that Bobbin has learned ('learnD') to use the potty every time she needs to go. No more diapers except at night time and even that is "just in case" these days as she almost always wakes up dry.
This is a good thing, right?
Yes, it is. No argument from me here. No more diaper pails. No more diapers. No more space consumed by changing tables, changing pads, diapering accessories and supplies. No more accidents to mop up. No more soiled underpants coming home from daycare in plastic bags with the "evidence" still attached to them. Which brings up another question: Why do they send the poop home with the kid? Do they think we parents won't believe them if they simply write a note that says "Bobbin had a #2 accident today in the playground"? It's not like the poop is the diarrahea variety. It's solid chunks. Shake the pants over the toilet before popping them in the baggy and voila - poop fragments all gone. I promise I'll believe it happened if you tell me it did. But I digress.
Yes, the fact that Bobbin now puts all her #1 and #2 in the potty all the time is a very very good thing. She is proud. We are proud. Life is easier. Life is cheaper. Life is good.
But there is a grey toilet ring around all this goodness. It's not dark grey. Just a mild discoloration. And it is the fact that as a result of her mind being so attuned to her bodily functions, she is waking up at 2am and 5am, like clockwork, every night, because she has to pee. Despite the fact that she still wears the nighttime pullups "just in case", her body has gotten to the point where it recognizes the signs and wakes her up before it happens and she must use the toilet. And after her body wakes her up, she wakes me up.
"Mommmmmyyyyyyyy.... I have to pee mommmyyyyyyyy I feel my pee pee coming MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY! I have to pee mommyyyyy I have to pee my pee pee is COMING"
And so I get up and stagger into her bedroom and mumble praises that she woke up in time to use the potty and ddn't have an accident and how proud I am of her. I think I mumble these praises out loud. I hear them in my head. And I hold her hand and blearily escort her to the bathroom and help her onto the potty and sit on the floor in front of her and wait for her to finish.
I have to remain semi-conscious during and after her pee in order to be able to help her back to her bed and tuck her in. She on the other hand confidently collapses into my arms in a sound slumber immediately after she has completed her business. There she will be, slumped forward into my arms, eyes closed, mouth open, snoring, still sitting on her potty with her pullups around her ankles. I have to get her all put back together and tucked back into her bed and empty the potty in the toilet and wash my hands before I can go back to my bed. And invariably, as I said, within 3 hours I'm doing it all over again.
Yes - using the potty is a good good thing. Pleased as punch we've arrived at this stage of life! But I'll be even happier when her bladder is large enough that she can make it til morning without having to pee, OR she starts getting out of bed and going on her own without waking me up :-)
Yes, I want my cake and I want to eat it too. But not at 2am. Or 5. At the more civilized hour of 7, if possible. But I'll take 6:30 if I have to.
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