Sending out an RFP: Request to Fess-up Please
I was reading another blog earlier today and in it in passing was stated a fact or an assumption (I don't remember which, or even if it was clear) that many moms the author knows who work full time as well, solicit help from services like housecleaning, meal prep, grocery buying, etc. etc. And I was thinking that none o the moms that I know, get this kind of domestic help on a recurring basis. And then I met a coworker who admitted her housecleaning service was off for two weeks because they ran into some unexpected expenses and couldn't have them come this month so I guess it does happen.
I would love to have a house cleaner. And someone to do my laundry (which includes putting it away). And when Tim's not around to cook, or is too tired to cook, I'd like to get someone else to bring me and Bobbin a proper meal. And then to clean up after it.
So I need to know from you moms out there... are you hiding something? Do you have people coming to clean your house or bring you food or cook your meals or do your grocery shopping? If not, and you could "outsource" one chore each week, what would it be?
Our house isn't completely awful. But it isn't winning any home of the month awards (actually that's not true. It has won a home of the month award. But that was shortly after we moved in when we were still squeaky clean, Bobbin was only 22 inches long and spent most of her time sleeping and could not change location of her own volition much less amass enough toys for me to be considered it messy where she was. Our house was NEVER so clean as when it was photographed for the magazine issue where it was featured as Home of the Month). I should probably rephrase that and say, Our house isn't completely awful. But Tim and I are not winning any cleanest home of the month awards. Not in this or any months.
It's so hard to keep up on everything, and once you do take care of something, there's something else that was made much worse just by the sheer fact that it took you so long to take care fo the first thing and the instigator got bored and went on to play with 10 other things that each had a lot of little pieces to pick up.
My biggest pet peeves are:
1) Dust Bunnies.
2) stuff lying all over the house where it doesn't belong
3) Dirty dishes piling up in the sink
4) Sticky spots on the floor.
5) Windows that are gathering a light layer of dust because we've washed them a total of NEVER times since we moved in. Except for the parts that Bobbin can reach with her hand and face. I try to do those once a month.
I've fantasized about winning the big lottery and getting someone to come in daily to do the icky stuff I don't like. Laundry, floor, dusting. But then I think that how will Bobbin ever establish good habits for herself as she gets older and goes off to college if she sees someone we're paying to come in and keep things clean. So there would need to be boundaries in terms of what would get done by the helper vs what would get done by us as independant adults (and budding independant preschooler) responsible for ourselves and our home and possessions. In the end I think having someone come over to vaccuum and mop the floors and clean the windows and clean the bathtub on a regular basis would be a good compromise.
Really... you can tell me. I'll keep it a secret. Do you have any regular "outside" help, keeping y'all in line in some way shape or form? Or some shortcut?
Comments
Capt Mike's family had a biweekly cleaning lady when he was growing up and both of his parents were working. I think Aunt Marie's family had a cleaning lady at one point while both she and Gil were working. A few of my friends who are moms have some outside help in that department, too, as does one of my friends who is not yet a mom.
I don't see anything wrong with paying someone to help out once a month or once every two weeks. I certainly would, if I were working outside the home and didn't have as much time to devote to cleaning as I do now.
Posted by Sarah on August 19, 2008 8:19 AM.Ha! As I was folding and sorting my 5th load of laundry last night at 9pm (which was started last weekend and piling up on the couch), and after spending the previous hour doing the dishes, picking up the living room and packing my bag for work the next day, I was thinking the same thing. A little help would be lovely. However, I'm too cheap and have this misguided superiority complex about being able to do it all. Frankly, I tend to base my housecleaning on planned guest visits, otherwise the dust bunnies are allowed to multiply uninterrupted!
Posted by Debra on August 19, 2008 9:47 AM.This is my take on the whole thing.....money doesn't buy happiness, but it can help you make life a whole lot easier. Yes, I had a housecleaner when I worked full time before I had Cole. A team of two came in and cleaned my house every two weeks.
I have no problem hiring help it allows me to have have more free time doing what I should be doing...spending time with my family. We hire painters, floor layers, landscapers....all for the same reason...Steve can do the jobs...but at what price? Yes it's cheaper doing it yourself, but I would rather wait for big projects and hire a professional than loose time being together. After all isn't that what our children will remember the most?
As a society we are already stretched too thin being pulled in so many different directions with our schedules...I want my kids to remember I was always there for them and with them. I don't need them to learn stress from me...and believe me I'm not professing to be perfect here...I'm just trying to make life easier.
Simplify. Things don't need to be complicated...and you are not any less of a mom or wife if you hire a cleaner. You are more of both because you will have more time and less stress.
There are a whole lot of people I know here who have house cleaners or nanny's or both. Same as you guys - hi tech workers. I don't judge them to be any less of a parent or spouse.
Posted by Lisa on August 19, 2008 6:12 PM.Ummmm, a wonderful woman helps us out once a month, and I don't even have kids. My husband does a huge share of household tasks. In between times, when the dog-dust bunnies get out of hand, I just pretend I'm living in a wolf den.
Early on, I stressed a lot before making this choice. Then one day, I decided that if I could easily picture a bachelor who works 60-80 hours getting occasional help, then I could envision the equivalent of a two bachelor household getting help. I've done a lot of food service and cleaning work in the past, and I respect people who do it. I've chosen to pay the same as I earn per hour (though I know it isn't the same when people don't get health care benefits, and have to travel to different sites).
Posted by Sunfriday on August 21, 2008 9:34 AM.