Brrriiiiiing... Hello? Is this Mommy's bluff? Hey! I've been trying to call you all day. Where ya been?
Me: Ok, let's get dressed.
Bobbin: No.
Me: No watermelon juice till you get dressed.
Bobbin: Ok. I don't WANT watermelon juice. I don't want to get dressed. I want to play.
Me: No Curious George till you get dressed.
Bobbin: I don't WANT to watch TV. I want to play.
Me: Daddy will have to take you to school if you don't get dressed now.
Bobbin: NO! MOMMY!
Score one for me.
...
Me: Ok honey, let's go home.
Bobbin: No.
Me: No TV. No Candy. No stories before bedtime if you don't come with me now.
Bobbin: No. I want to play. 5 minutes.
Me: No 5 minutes; I already gave you 5 minutes. We need to leave now.
Bobbin: 2 minutes.
Me: You'll miss out on dinner: Hotdogs and macaroni and cheese - if we don't leave now.
Bobbin: It's gonna get cold?
Me: Yes.
Bobbin: I don't want dinner. I want to play.
Me: (coming up blank) Ok then...
Bobbin: You gonna leave without me?
Me: (pausing briefly) No. I can't leave without you. I'd get arrested. But I will pick you up and carry you to the car if I have to.
Bobbin: I'm COMING. I SAID I am coming. You don't NEED to get ANGRY. That's NOT ok.
...
Bobbin: I don't WANT to wash my hands and face.
Me: You rubbed hotdog on your cheeks. You have to wash your face. Do you want Tommy to lick you?
Bobbin: SHUT UP!
Me: (carrying her into her room and depositing her on her bed) You do NOT say those words to me or to anyone. That was rude and disrespectful. That is NOT ok to say.
Bobbin: Caleb says it at school.
Me: I don't care who says it. It's not ok to say. Does the teacher tell Caleb not to say it at school?
Bobbin: Yes.
Me: Then no more.
Bobbin: SHUT UP.
Me: Time out time. 3 minutes.
Bobbin: (as I'm walking out of her room and closing her door, she's singing to herself) Twinkle, twinkle little star... Shut UP Cinderella! I like you.
...
Yes Dad, Mom... payback's a bitch.
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