God is like a pink teddy bear
I'm not religious. I was baptized and attended my first communion and attended a catholic church most Sundays including regular Sundays until the age of 8 or 9 I think. I sang in the church choir until the choir director decided my voice was not the sort one wants near the microphone and I was banished to the back row. When I decided I didn't want to go to church anymore, I informed my parents and they were cool with it. It was my decision. And now that I'm all grown up I still don't really know what I believe in. I'm... agnostic. I'm open to possibilities. But I'm not attached to any one belief. However I am mindful that others are, and try to be respectful of that. And I remember being admonished by my mom the first time she heard me say "Oh my GOD" because that was taking the Lord's name in vain. Although I imagine my admonishment was probably nothing like what my mother would have received from HER mother. But I am highly doubtful that my mother would have said anything of the sort in front of her mother. And I digress.
So I was a bit stumped when I first heard the words "Oh MY GOD!" pass from Bobbin's lips. My first instinct was to say that's not ok to say. But then she'd want to know why. And that would require some sort of excursion into the realm of religion. Which I would fumble, because I'm not entirely sure what I believe about God myself. And then we'd get all abstract. And it would just spiral into a bit pit of nonsensical blabber from there. At least from the viewpoint of a 3 1/2 year old. OR I could take the shortcut and just be a hypocrite. Not an example I want to set either. So instead, I went with this:
"Honey, you know some people's feelings might get hurt if you say 'Oh My God' in front of them. It's not really a nice thing to say. If you feel you really must say something you can say "Oh my gosh" instead. or "Oh my goodness". Or just "Oh my".
And sure enough, right on queue, she asked the very logical question "Why is 'Oh My God' not ok to say but 'Oh My Gosh' is ok to say? Why Mommy? Will it make people cry?"
To which I replied "Well, probably not. But it isn't appropriate. And it might offend some people"
To which she responded "Why isn't it appropriate? Why will it make people upset?"
And here we go. Standing at the edge of a very steep cliff, the wind blowing fiercely against our backs.
"Well, honey, think of someone that's really really special to you", I said.
"My pink teddy bear!" she replied enthusiastically.
"Ok, good. Now your pink teddy bear is really really special to you right? And if someone came up to you and shouted 'That bear is yucky!' it would probably make you feel a little angry right? Because the bear is special and you love it, and you want people to treat it with respect".
"My bear IS special. Everyone should respect my bear"
"Ok, well, some people feel that 'God' is very special to them. And to hear someone say "Oh My God!" when they're upset, it's like you're being disrespectful to 'God' because they think 'God' is special. And they might not feel very happy about it. And so we don't say it in that way".
"God is like my pink teddy bear. It's special".
Yeah. Hell, that works for me. And then we moved on to lullabies. Thank God.
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