The Clothes Wars...
Advance notice to those family and friends who are considering sending Bobbin clothes for her birthday: SHE'S PICKY AS HELL. If you do want to venture out into these rough waters, here is what you should know about what she will and will not wear.
1) Any article of clothing must be made of 100% jersey knit cotton. No other materials are acceptable unless it is a fancy poofy party dress, and then any material is acceptable as long as it is a "girl colour" and swirly. Denim is NEVER acceptable.
2) It must have pockets in the front. Same exemption to fancy poofy party dresses apply.
3) If it is a skirt, it must have shorts attached underneath. A skirt without attached shorts will not be worn except in the winter when it will be worn with wool tights, which will alleviate the worry of having the breeze blow up her skirt. It's not so much the exposure of her underpants that bothers her, as much as the feeling of the breeze "up there".
4) It must be a "girl colour". I have no idea what constitutes a "girl colour" since arbitrarily, blue, brown, and black fit into the "girl colour" classification.
5) If it is a t-shirt it must have a picture on it. And by picture, I mean a cutsie sparkly graphic print of some sort. Like "I (heart) Puppies" with a picture of a cute puppy.
Mom veto: Princess, Spoiled, Brat, Tease, and other egomaniacal or racy graphics and words are not permitted.
6) Long sleeve shirts are not to have cuffs around the wrist that are tighter than the sleeves themselves.
7) Turtle necks are for turtles, not Bobbins.
8) Shirts are not to be ruched at the sides.
9) Capri length pants are OUT. So are long shorts.
10) Regular shorts are deemed acceptable provided they meet all other criteria, but it should be noted that they rarely make an appearance past our front door.
11) Full length pants must be no longer than the bottom of the ankle and no shorter than the top of the ankle.
12) Dresses must have full twirly skirts. For a more complete definition of twirly see here. Dresses are not required to have pockets, although it is beneficial. Nor are they required to be made of 100% jersey knit cotton as long as the twirl factor is acceptable. Note: Full-pleated dresses and skirts are, for some reason, not acceptable no matter how twirly they are.
13) Skirts with built-in shorts underneath do not have to be twirly. They just have to have pockets.
14) "No-feet" tights are highly preferred over footed tights.
15) Tights made of materials that easily run are not permitted.
16) Clothing must be stain resistant and washable on regular cycle with regular detergent and require no ironing. Clothing must not shrink when dried in the drier. (ok, this one is mine. But if it has stains she won't wear it so... )
Mornings lately have been a bitch. We've had to institute a few hard rules in the household as well.
1) no matter what, Mommy leaves the house at 8:30am (earlier on Wednesdays). So if Bobbin wants my help getting dressed, which she usually does even though she's capable of dressing herself, she needs to be able to select her clothes and have them on before 8:30am. I have left her sobbing in tears pleading with me to "Don't GO MOMMY" twice in a row so far this week. Hmm... this is only tuesday. This trend does not bode well for the remainder of the week.
2) If it isn't in her closet or drawer, then it is dirty and not available to be worn, no matter how much she begs and pleads.
3) Laundry gets done on the weekend. On the rare occasion Tim or I may opt to do laundry during the week day, but it is by no means a guarantee or a promise.
4) If it has no visible significant stains then it can be worn the next day, and the day after, etc. until such a time as visible significant stains appear, or until such a time as it is in such a bad state that the teachers would have reason to call Child Protection Services. However this rule may NEVER be applied to Underwear or Socks.
5) If she throws a fit or a tantrum in the morning, then her favourite article of clothing gets put into the timeout basket for a minimum of 24 hours and until she has demonstrated appropriate behaviour.
6) If she tells me she hates me or calls me stupid, she's on her own for getting dressed.
8) If she wants me to pick out her outfit, then she either wears what I pick or, if she doesn't like what I pick, she must pick out her own outfit. She gets one chance.
9) When it's summer, the wool tights get packed away. She can wear lightweight no-feet tights if she really feels the need to wear tights (I lost that battle) but not thick wool tights. Oh... and by the way... It's SUMMER here in our household. Remember that when you are talking to her. It's not summer at your house, but it is summer here.
Did I mention mornings have been a bitch?
And yes, I am more than aware that I was just as picky about my wardrobe at that age. It was the 70's and so my requirements were somewhat different. My favourite pants were pink with vertical white pinstripes, and wide bottoms that, when I stood with my legs really close together, looked like it was just a long dress. These pants also had a matching pink with vertical white pinstripe zipper jacket to go with it. The two could not be worn separately. And did i mention they were polyester? I guess you probably guessed that. I wouldn't wear any other pants at all except for a vague memory I have of brown polyester wide-bottom pants. For the most part, I wore dresses. And tights. And I preferred turtlenecks to blouses with buttons. Even in the summer. And if the shirt or top had any adornment or elastic in or on it, it had to be shielded in such a way that I could not feel it against my skin when I was wearing it.
Yes... creepily similar, I know. Which is why I came up with I think some reasonably compromising rules, and which is why I had her clean out her closet and drawers of all clothing that she knew she would never ever wear, and why I went out and bought her (thankfully, on sale at Osh-Kosh at 70% off for the most part) a set of skirts, tights, and tops that all fit the above criteria. With the rule that, if we experienced any more tantrums or fights in the morning getting dressed, the first clothing to go into the timeout basket would be her new clothes. There was nothing I hated more than wearing clothes that I wasn't comfortable with. It wasn't so much the look as it was the feel against my skin. I would have long drawn out battles with my mom, primarily, over what I would and would not wear and what was and was not acceptable, not unlike the battles that Bobbin has been having with me. It took me a few days to realize the scary similarity. And since the worst feeling in the world to me was wearing clothes that I wasn't comfortable in, that made me cringe and my skin crawl at the mere thought of having to put something on that I knew I wouldn't like, I realized that I needed to try and respect her preferences, as weird as they may seem to me now. BUT that also means that she has what she has - there will be no new clothes coming into the house for the rest of the summer (unless one of you is crazy enough to want to try and buy her something. But I highly encourage you instead to donate any money you would have spent on clothes for Bobbin to the Goodwill or Salvation Army or some children's charity :-)) AND because every one of her new articles of clothing has received her personal stamp of approval, there are to be no more temper tantrums in the morning, and no more unrealistic demands at 8:00am to "WASH MY ORANGE SKIRT NOW BECAUSE THATS WHAT I WANT TO WEAR" or shouts of "NO MOMMY I DON"T WANT TO PICK OUT MY CLOTHES. I WANT YOU TO PICK OUT WHAT I WANT TO WEAR BUT I DONT WANT TO WEAR ANYTHING IN MY CLOSET". Yes, these are actual quotes. Because the first time I hear that, I'll be bringing her to school in her jammies (which I know she finds comfortable) and tossing her new clothes into the timeout basket. Unless it's 8:30am. In which case, I'll be out the door on my way to work and it'll be Tim's problem to deal with. :-)
Oh yeah, and before I forget: Debra, does Miss E still wear a size 4? If so, I have some clothes for you to look at :-) If they meet her criteria and fit her, then you can just bring 'em back to us after she grows out of them. Chances are, Bobbin will have changed her tastes by then and we may be able to give them a second try ;-)
Comments
*sigh*
I remember well your penchant for polyester and wide legs, as 8 years later I was resigned to wearing the same items if they had survived into the mid eighties. That's one for the "cons" column of being a second child: wardrobe pickiness is pretty much a non-starer, no matter how dated the handmedowns are.
Anyway...I had actually picked out Bobbin's birthday gift this year before you posted this, and I think I am safe. It's not clothing. I hope her entertainment tastes aren't quite so strict and that the novelty of Canadiana still carries some caché. (No, it's not a singing beaver, moose, or boreal animal of any sort, don't worry Tim.) ;-)
Posted by Sarah on June 3, 2009 6:21 AM.Pants, skirts and shorts mostly a 4 (for waist) but they need to be long enough for her height and no front pockets or zippers or denim or canvass or short pants, tops are a 5 (for length) and pictures could ok but no stripes (except small ones) and anything with lace or sparkles work...sigh...
Debra :)
Posted by Debra on June 8, 2009 9:26 AM.