There is some really deep thinking happening in Bobbin's brain these days. Here are a few of the deepest thoughts she's shared with us most recently:
On the wonders of Science:
Mommy, isn't it interesting that the moon is up in the air but it doesn't fall down onto the earth? Do you know why? It all has to do with GRAVITY Mommy. Gravity.
On Life and Death
Mommy, if a Mommy dies with a baby in her tummy can the Daddy decide to still have the baby be borned?
On Matters of the Heart (watching the Sound of Music; The scene is where Capt. Von Trapp walks out onto the patio during his big party for the Baroness, and stands there watching Maria teach Fredrik an Austrian folk dance before he cuts in) Mommy, does the Captain know yet that he's in love with Maria?
On the Basics of Medicine (while waiting to see her pediatrician about her ear infection) Mommy, I think the doctor should have 2 waiting rooms instead of one and then they should separate all the sick people from the healthy people and then the healthy people won't get the germs from the sick people. How come my doctor doesn't have 2 waiting rooms, Mommy? One for the sick people and one for the healthy people?
On The Economy (after hearing Tim make an offhand comment about how much he paid for gas this morning) Mommy, if we have to keep paying more for gas, how are we going to be able to have money to go visit Grandma Anne and Grandpa Jerry and go to Disneyland again and do all those things? (I reassured her that by making sensible choices and compromises - like looking for sales or buying cheaper brands or being smarter about what we decide to use our money for, we will still be able to save money for trips and fun things. But I thought it was actually pretty cool that she actually processed the information and came up with a reasonable potential consequence!)
Posted by Heather on February 16, 2010 at 10:16 PM
Thanks to Microsoft Expressions Media 2 and Expressions Web 3, I now have the ability to customize my own photo gallery templates and themes, and publish them here with a click of the button. And so without further ado, I bring you the Official Disneyland 2010 Family Vacation Album. I have more photos to add, but this is the format that I'll be using. I'll let you know when it's been updated with more photos so you can check back.
Enjoy :-)
Oh yeah... and I used Zara to create the banner graphic. Pretty, huh? Not bad for an amateur.
(excuse the formatting; it's only temporary. I have Microsoft Expressions working and will republish the whole album using that when I have a moment. I love Expressions, btw. One click, all done. I just have to set up the upload settings so it publishes directly to my server.).
We'll start with our visit to the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique where, for a small king's ransom, your daughter can get dolled up like a princess complete with hair, makeup nails, dress, shoes, tiara, purse, gloves, and royal jewels. I kid you not. And she gets her own "personal royal photographer" to memorialize the entire event from start to finish. Which you can choose to purchase for a lesser king's ransom. Here are a few of them. It was TOTALLY worth it. Even though the look was completely destroyed in the torrential tornado warning rains and winds that were whipping around us as we trudged back to the hotel. She still loved the wet hair piece and insisted on wearing it the rest of the day.
Tomorrow kicks off an entire week of Show and Tell at Bobbin's school. Every day of the week next week the kids get to bring in something special from home and talk about it with the class. I asked Bobbin what she was going to bring to school for show and tell. She ran to her room and came back out carrying her stuffed toy german shepherd. I asked if she remembered where she got it, and when she replied no I told her that it was a gift from Grandma Anne and Grandpa Jerry when she was still inside my tummy, and that we named it Baby Diva because it looked just like their dog Diva when she was a puppy.
Bobbin thought a moment and said "Well, it's my puppy now so I get to choose the name, and instead of Baby Diva, I've decided to call her Baby Jesus. Now excuse me Mommy, 'cause I have to go tuck Jesus into bed".
I'm anticipating some polite questioning, or at the very least some sideways glances, when I go pick Bobbin up at school tomorrow.
And if/when I ever do set foot in a catholic church again, I might just have to go into the confessional to find out what the appropriate penance is for raising your daughter to believe that the Son of God was a canine.
Or... maybe she's onto something. I mean, God is Dog spelled backwards, right?
Phrases that get your attention during playdates
Bobbin went over to her best bud, "Z"'s house. Z is a friend from her old daycare and she's known him since she was 3 months old. They've kept in touch even after Bobbin moved to her new school, and they get together every so often to play. As the two of them ran off to tease the dog and play chase, Z's mom and I sat in the kitchen chatting. There was the usual ruckus emanating from the room in which Z, Bobbin and Z's brother were playing. It sounded like some sort of ball rolling game. Background noise.
Until all of a sudden we heard Bobbin pipe up in her authoritative and tone, "Z, don't aim it at my EYE" which I imagine was followed by an unspoken "Hello? Jeeez. What were you thinking?"
Z's mom and I casually wandered into the living room and found Z poised, arm in the air, getting ready to let loose with a little bouncy superball, and Bobbin standing at the far side of the room (and I might add, standing in front of a large, glass, picture window) holding her hands out as if she was actually seriously going to attempt to catch it.
We decided at that point, it was time for them to do draw pictures or do puzzles.
To Kazakhstan and Back
Bobbin and I have this game where we take turns saying "I love you to X and back" where X is some far away place that gets progressively farther and farther away as the game progresses. By the end of it we're usually well beyond the rainbow, the clouds, the atmoshphere, the planet, the moon, the solar system, the galaxy, and the universe. Her newest twist on the game involves getting out her talking globe (a gift from Grandma Anne and Grandpa Jerry last Christmas) and then using the little touch pen to tap on countries, and repeats the name of the country in her "I love you to X and back". It's fairly random, but I have noticed that she seems to have an affinity for the following places:
Antarctica - because that's where penguins are.
Madagascar - because that's where the animals in the movie by the same name ended up
Canada - because that's where Grandma Anne, Grandpa Jerry, Aunt Sarah, Uncle Mike, Aunt Glad, Cousins Jake, Stef, and Kip, and a whole host of other aunts, uncles, and cousins live.
United States - because that's where we live
The compass rose in the middle of the atlantic ocean - and yes, she does say "I love you to Compass Rose and back" when she touches it :-)
The circle representing the entire planet Earth in the middle of the pacific ocean.
China - because that's where everything is made. Including, according to Bobbin, all china.
Kazakhstan - for what reason, I'm not sure. But she touches it an awful lot. It is a fairly large country, and on her globe it is pink in colour, which is probably the attraction :-)
She's getting pretty good at remembering which country is which at this point.
Wedding Bells
We were in the fabric store the other day so I could spend the gift certificate a friend gave me for my brithday, lined up at the cutting counter to get my selected fabrics cut to the length I needed. It was our turn and we stepped up to the counter. The lady at the counter asked "What are you making" (which I have learned in the last few months is a standard question asked by all ladies at all cutting counters in all fabric and craft stores everywhere) and Bobbin piped up and shouted "She's making me a DRESS!!!!". The lady smiled and told her she was a lucky girl. And Bobbin responded "I KNOW! And when I'm all growed up, she's going to make me my WEDDING DRESS TOO!" which was the first I had heard this plan of hers. Good to know now; gives me lots of time to practice :-)
Hockey Fever
When we were visiting the folks for Christmas my dad bought Bobbin a brand new pair of ice skates and we went skating almost every day while we were there. On the last couple of times we went, Bobbin started letting go of my hand and practicing on her own. At one point, she actually moved herself about an 8th of the way around the ice rink on her own (holding the boards). We're talking a real hockey sized ice rink, not the little cutsy outdoor ones that she's skated on in our area that are more for "festive atmosphere" than for any real skating or exercise :-). She was so excited by her accomplishment that she took my hand at the end, jumped up and down (on the ice, with both feet, quite high) and yelled "MOMMY! I DID IT! I SKATED BY MYSELF! NOW I CAN PLAY HOCKEY!" I was so proud :-)
She starts her first official lessons, in a class with instructor, on Saturday the 16th. I'm not sure who's more excited - her or me :-)
The tally is 3 nays, 1 yay, 2 abstain, and 1 absent. The present majority wins.
Posted by Heather on December 5, 2009 at 9:44 PM
This afternoon's car conversation with Bobbin.
Bobbin: Mommy, I want a guinea pig for a pet. Me: You do? Well... we've talked about how right now we have a pretty full house already. Bobbin: Well, guinea pigs are really small, you know. Me: Yes. True. They are. But they're still a big responsibility. Do you know how to take care of a guinea pig? Bobbin: I would have to feed it. Me: Yup. Bobbin: I will do that. Me: And you have to clean its cage. Bobbin: You can do that part, Mommy. Me: Well.... no. It would have to be a shared responsibility. And anyway, you know, guinea pigs and cats don't really get along all that well. Your guinea pig would probably be a little nervous with Ginger and Spicey roaming around, and Ginger and Spicey might think your guinea pig is a toy for them to play with, and they could accidentally hurt it. Bobbin: Well, we can keep the cats locked in your room, Mommy! Me: Well, how would the cats get exercise? Bobbin: They could just run around on your bed and stuff. Me: I see. Well, no, I don't think that would really work very well. Bobbin: Well, when Ginger and Spicey die can I have a guinea pig then Mommy? Please? Me: Well, after I finish mourning the loss of the cats that I've raised since they were babies, and who have been with me longer than you or your Daddy, perhaps we can talk about it. Bobbin: Yay!
Having had to care for guinea pigs to the tune of $8.75/h during my third year of University, I can tell you that was nowhere near enough money. Guinea pigs smell terrible. TERRIBLE. No matter how clean you keep them. And they're dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. (Particularly when exposed to alcohol in utero, but even under ideal gestational circumstances, they're pretty slow on the uptake.)
I'd steer her towards hamsters....smaller, a little brighter, and all around much more pleasant to deal with. Alternatively, ferrets are pretty neat, too.
Every year it's a different experience. This year she willingly let him pick her up and put her on his knee, carried on a conversation with him about what she was going to leave him and his reindeer under the tree for a snack and what she wanted for Christmas and how good a girl she's been, giggled when he tickled her, and then gave him an actual HUG at the end of it all!
Today was a busy day by all accounts. Tim had to work, so Bobbin and I were left to our own devices to entertain ourselves. We started by building a Gingerbread house (see previous post; more photos later :-)), and then got dressed and headed downtown to the Children's Museum and Center House, where we enjoyed several hours playing in the museum (not exaggerating) and a couple more watching the winterfest international dance show in Center House - everything from Spain, to the Phillipines to Japan, to Bobbin's favourite - Irish step dancing with the girls in their noisy shoes and glittery dresses (and calves like I've never seen!). She was mesmerized by that last set of dancers. It was awesome to just watch her be fascinated.
After the dancing, we headed outside to see the lights, and in our wandering discovered the carousel was running. We stopped and took a ride and just as we were getting off, Bobbin pointed over to a building emanating Christmas music and a glow of icey blue light and asked what was going on. When I told her it was a skating rink and people were ice skating, that was pretty much it. She had to go investigate. And once we got in there, she had to try it for herself. So we shelled out $7 and rented us some skates. And Bobbin took to the ice like a fish to water. She did at least 10 laps. No kidding. I could barely get her to stop and take a break. On the 2nd to last lap she even turned to me as she was getting on the ice and said "My ankles are starting to hurt now, but I don't care. It doesn't matter. Hurry up, Mom. Let's go!!!!"
Let me tell you that well worn rental skates with dull blades and missing eyelets are not for the weak of ankle. Which I am. I had to tie those things up so tight I nearly cut off my circulation in order to prevent my feet from flopping inwards on the damn things. But Bobbin had no trouble at all, on or off the ice. She loved it!
After I finally got her off the ice and out of the skates we wandered around outside for a while longer, admiring the festive lights and giant Christmas tree and lit up fountain before heading back into the car, exactly 7 hours after having left our house this morning. she fell asleep about 10 minutes from home. I stopped at our local PCC and woke her up so that I could get some warm food in her.
When we got home I massaged her feet and legs for her as she watched her bedtime tv show. She asked why, and I simply said "you'll thank me later". Even as she was lying in bed about to fall asleep she complained that her feet and legs were "a little sore". She's been out like a light ever since.
Here's a few photos to mark the occasion.
This was right after we got her skates on. Confidently striding and hopping about. Was near impossible to get her to stand still long enought to take this picture!
There she goes...!
It's important to stop to refuel every once in a while.
And back out we go for more, at her insistance! She wouldn't even let me hold on to her.
She tries to turn around for a picture after demanding (politely but firmly :-)) that I take a photo of her...
She's starting to think maybe turnng around was a little more challenging than she thought. Love the expression :-)
She absolutely refused to use one of these til she had mastered several laps around the rink withoutone. And then the only reason she did get one in the end wS because it let her skate FASTER.
On the way home from school today, Bobbin was disagreeing with me at every opportunity. At one point I said, "Wow, you are just bound and determined to argue with me today, aren't you?" to which she responded, "NO, Mommy. I am NOT bound and German!"
Later on at dinner we were talking about what is significant about this week. She's learning about Veteran's Day in school (and yes, I did let her know that in Canada and the UK it is referred to as "Rememberance Day"). Somehow the topic turned to country leaders, and I asked her "Who is responsible for leading our country? Who has that responsibility?" to which she replied, "President Obama!". Then she paused and asked, "But Mommy, what about the Royal Family?"
I need to brush up on my history of Canada-US relations, the American Revolution and War of 1812 faster than I had anticipated, it would seem.
But I think my answer of "Great question! The Royal Family lives in London in Buckingham Palace in the United Kingdom, which is a different country from the United States" along with a list of all of the living immediate family members was a sufficient response for her curiosity this evening.
Conversation in Target this afternoon, as Bobbin and I were shopping for her cousin's birthday present. We were in the card aisle, which is Bobbin's second favourite aisle, with Shoes being the first favourite. She had already selected a book from the $5.00 bin, and I told her she only got to choose 1 thing. And so when she saw the sparkley Unicorn birthday card in the card aisle, this is what transpired:
Bobbin: Mommy, I want that card. Can I have it please? Me: No. It''s not your birthday. We're here to shop for "S". Bobbin: But MOMMY. It's a UNICORN and so sparkley. Please can I have it for my birthday? Me: Sure, when you're 5. Bobbin: No, Mommy, I want it today. You said I could pick one thing. I don't want the book mommy. I want the birthday card. Can I have the birthday card if I put the book back? Me: Ummm... I guess so... but, what are you going to do with the card? Bobbin: I'm going to Happy Birthday myself for my 4 birthday Mommy. Me: But your 4 birthday is all done. Bobbin: But I never got myself a card for it
We actually ended up leaving the store without ANY purchases including presents and cards for the cousin. See, once I gave her permission to trade in the book for a birthday card (naive me; I'll never make that mistake again) she decided she wanted to look at ALL the cards to pick out the right one for her. After 20 minutes in the card aisle without making decisions I forced her hand and told her if she didn't have a card selected by the time I finished counting to 5, we were leaving without anything. I got to 5, and she was still undecided on whether she wanted the sparkly unicorn, the sparkly princess, or the Hello Kitty card, or whether she wanted to keep looking until she found a card that sings. Yeah. No. So Iput down the basket full of presents and the cards that we had selected, and her book, and the sparkly unicorn card, and I picked her up and carried her to the car. She was sobbing. Not screaming. Not angry. But sobbing this heartbreaking sob, hugging me, and quietly apologizing profusely for her behaviour and promising to be a good girl and asking if she'd still get to go to her cousin's birthday and saying that she was sad because she didn't have a gift for him.
We had a looooong chat in the car, I drove her home, left her with Tim, and went back on my own :-)
Bobbin plays with Mommy's new Dell Studio One 19 Multitouch all-in-one, Windows 7 certified home PC, creates and edits her own video with the built in webcam and Dell's TouchCam software, and launches her internet film career with the one-touch upload to YouTube.
For a while now, Bobbin's been asking questions about what happens when people die, where do they go when they die, why don't they just disappear when they die (which to me, actually, seems like quite an interesting question from a 4-year-old), what is the difference between dying and being unconscious (yes, she really did ask this one too), what happens to a person's body when they die, etc.
I don't really subscribe to any religious beliefs. And so I can't answer these questions with any level of certainty or conviction, and I don't believe anyone else can either, regardless of their religious beliefs and the depth of their faith on those beliefs. Just as much, I can't say with any more certainty or conviction that the answer is "nothing". That when you die, that's it, there is nothingness. You're done. Because I don't know. And even if that was what I believed, I don't think I'd want it to be my answer to her question at this age. So my answers have really been kinda more walking the fence line. I tell her that no one really knows what happen, but that there are lots of different guesses that people have about what happens, and that the guess that I like best is that when the body dies, the spirit either goes to a beautiful place that some people call heaven to watch over and protect their loved ones that are still alive, and/or that the spirit eventually gets to come back into the world and start a whole new life again when a new baby is born. I haven't told her that one guess is that nothing happens, because that's just not an image I want to burden her with.
Anyway - so there's been lots of discussion of spirits and heaven, and what do you think heaven is, and I've been mostly philosophical about it all, and really have been primarily listening to Bobbin's concrete ideas about these questions. Like she decided that Heaven is a place where it is beautiful and green and you get to play every day outside in the sunshine. I'm down for that.
So today in the car as we were driving, Bobbin popped her most frequently asked question, "Mommy, where do you think the spirit goes when someone dies" and I gave my usual philosophical response about how the spirit might go to a place that some people call heaven, or might get born again to live a whole new life as someone else, at which point she interrupted with a hand wave, and the response"Well, *I* like to think that it goes to Africa. And Florida". Very matter-of-factly.
Ok, sure. Why the hell not? :-)
A few days ago, Bobbin asked me the question "What happens to your body when you die?"
I'm not really ready to expose her images of being burned to cinders and swept into an urn, or being stuffed in a box and being lowered into the ground to be covered with dirt and left to rot. So I started off with "well, it depends on what the person believed when he or she was alive" and at that point Bobbin jumped in and said "I know! Your body goes into a special room that is very beautiful, and your family wraps your body up in cloth and covers your whole body including your face, and puts it in a beautiful box and then stands in a circle around you and holds hands and sings"
Uh... ok.
I was able to, later on, discern that they had been studying pyramids, the ancient
Egyptians, and mummies in school and that she used that as the basis for her own theory of what happens. Thankfully, after talking with the teacher, I did learn they left out the part about how they extract the organs and stick them in jars, and fill the bodies up with gunk.
It works for me though. Although it does conjur images for me of the Who's down in Whoville, encircling the Christmas tree, holding hands, and swaying side to side while singing.
Silly. But then, how else am I supposed to think of my own death? :-)
Now I'm just waiting for her to ask me when we're going to start constructing her Pyramid. Even with modern engineering and freight transport technology these things do take a while. And I guess I know how we'll be using our 401K.
I know it's a bit early to be thinking about Christmas, but Mom said I should give you lots of notice because this year my requests are a little more unusual than your typical 4-year-old desires. So here goes.
Santa, this year for Christmas I would like a rock tumbler. I've been collecting rocks for half my life; it's a passion of mine, Santa. And I've amassed quite a few at this point. I think they would look really pretty all polished up and shiny. I saw a beautiful rock that had been polished with a rock tumbler and I think the rocks in my collection would look even more beautifuller. I have a bunch of pretty white ones that Mommy says are like "quartz" and I have some that have little tiny pink streaks in them if you look close enough. And others that sort of sparkle. I tried polishing them on my own Santa, in my bathroom sink. I even used all of my handsoap and scrubbed and scrubbed them with my Hello Kitty face cloth and they got a bit cleaner, but they still weren't shiny like other polished rocks I've seen. So that's what I'd really like, Santa.
Also, I would like a fossil. I learned all about fossils in school. I learned how fossils are made. They're made when leaves and things get buried a long long long long long long time ago, and then they get crushed into the rocks and then you dig 'em up and you can see what they looked like back in the olden days. I really think fossils are cool and I would like some, please. With leaves and little bugs and stuff.
Mommy said that you have some special helpers up in Canada that are really good at making rock tumblers and finding fossils. It's their specialty, Mom said. That's a fortunate coincidence because you see Santa, I'm going to be in Canada for Christmas!
I do have one more wish on my list Santa. Mom said that this one might be a little bit challenging for you but I'll tell you anyway. Because if I don't tell you, it'll definitely be a lot challenging for you, won't it? My last wish is to be a dog trainer and for me and my dog to go to the National Dog Show on TV and show my dog. I went to the fair this weekend, and I saw these girls all dressed up in suits and they were only a few years older than me, like 8 or 10 years older or something, and they were showing their dogs to the judges and their dogs were CHAMPIONS. And they had to get down and kneel on their knees and hold their dogs' tails straight and arrange their dogs' legs so they would stand up tall, and the judge checked their dogs' teeth and then they ran around with their dogs on leashes, and then the judge decided on the WINNER. I watched them for a whole HOUR at the fair. Mom said I looked "mesmerized". I don't think I was mesmerized. I think I was just so fascinated I was speechless for the entire hour and couldn't take my eyes off of them and didn't hear Mom and Dad when they tried to talk to me. It was so awesome! And so I decided I could do that too, and so I've been practicing with my dog Rivers every day when I get home from school. Mommy lets me put a leash on Rivers and walk him around the outside of the house, and I take treats with me and make him stop and sit and then I give him a treat. And then I say "come" and hold his leash and he walks with me, and then I make him stop and sit again. And I'm very calm and professional and quiet just like the girls at the fair were and Rivers listens to me EVERY TIME! So I think I'd be really really good at showing dogs, Santa. So if you could think about that and see what you could come up with, I'd really appreciate it.
Say "hi" to the reindeer for me, and to Mrs. Claus. And all the elves. And polar bears. And I'll send you another letter sometime after American Thanksgiving, ok?
Our satellite receiver lost signal the other day. As Bobbin and I sat waiting for the receiver to complete it's self diagnostics, she pointed to the status bar on the screen and asked "What's that for?"
I explained that the bar showed you how much work the receiver had done, and how much it had left to do. And when the receiver finished all the work, the receiver would be fixed and we could watch TV.
She thought about this, and replied "It's like an Otter Pop! Like someone is squeezing it and squeezing it at the bottom to make it go up and up, and then eating it and eating it at the top until the otter pop is all gone, and the TV is working again!"
A) Creative analogy. And effective.
B) I tend to think of the status bar as "filling up" from left to right. Clearly, Bobbin interpreted it as "emptying out" from right to left. I found that kinda interesting.
At the dinner table this evening, Bobbin started complaining of a tummy ache. She was moaning and groaning as if she needed her appendix out (which is exactly what she was, in fact, emulating. "Madeline" is her current favourite movie. And her favourite part of that movie is when Madeline gets a tummy ache and it turns out she needs her appendix taken out). I asked her if she was ok or if she needed to lie down and rest for a bit. To which she replied, "Oh, it's not so bad that I'd need a wheelchair or anything. I'll live".
Conversation at dinner today. For context - Sometimes, and it is completely unpredictable as to when those times are, if Bobbin gets wind of the fact that I'm planning to go somewhere without her, even if Tim is home with her, she has a temper tantrum. So I've taken to spelling out my "me time" aspirations to Tim when we're planning our weekends.
Me: Hey honey, do you work tomorrow? Tim: Nope. Me: Great! Then in the afternoon I'd like to go for a "W"... "A"... "L"... "K"... Bobbin: HEY! That spells "WALK"!
Her idea to go this short. But i love it. She picked it out of a hair
style book while waiting. They gave her a spritz of glitter spray and
streaked in some pink and purple afterward at her request.
After we left, as we were driving home she asked "Mommy, can I paint
my whole head of hair purple next time?" and we agreed that when she's
sixteen AND if she can pay for it herself, she can 'paint' all her
hair purple if she wants.
According to Calvin and Hobbes, opening up is the time machine configuration, opening to the side is for duplication, and upside down is for transmogrification.
1 hour of gymnastics, followed by 3 hours at the park with Miss E!, and another hour and a half at Grandma's running wild in the back yard rolling down hills, and playing chase with Cousin S makes for a pretty exhausting day.
And tomorrow will be just as busy. It's BFF Miss A's 4 year old birthday tomorrow, and she's celebrating with an hour-and-a-half party at The Little Gym.
Then this past weekend there were three more parties, one of which was Bobbin's own.
First up: On Saturday morning Bobbin attended the party of a school friend turning 5 as well. The party was at Pony Paradise and featured... you guessed it... pony rides and also a bouncy house!
She's into gymnastics now. And has been at her "new" school now for almost a whole year. She's developed some really close, deep, friendships. She loves telling stories, listening to stories, singing, and dancing and drawing. She loves Abba and Hannah Montana. And riding ponies. She's already making plans for the future - talking about Kindergarten, and growing up and going away to university. She asks me almost daily now, "Mommy when I get big and grown up and have to go away, will you be sad?" and my answer is "of course". She's decided when she grows up that she's going to marry her best friend, "Miss A". She's going to be a mommy. And an astronaut. And a doctor. And an artist. And so so so much more, I can't even tell you. And she's more and more amazing with every passing year.
Happy Birthday munchkin! We love you and are so proud of you!
Uncle Mike and I mailed off Bobbin's birthday present yesterday. The post office guy said it'd probably get there by Friday, but who knows? Anyway, it's in very utilitarian bubble envelope packaging; thus, should it arrive before the big day, to remain a surprise until the big day, it should not be opened until the big day. :-) It might actually provide some entertainment/atmosphere for the festivities, if it's deemed acceptable by the League of Princesses.
We're looking forward to seeing the photos after!
xox
Ok. So our almost-4-year-old daughter has a way more active social calendar than us. I guess that's not unusual :-) But I am a little shocked at the potential for activity. Here's what the next few weeks offers up:
Saturday July 25th: Gymnastics at noon; possible playdate in the afternoon.
Sunday July 26th: Best friend E's b-day in the afternoon
Saturday August 1st: School chum b-day (with pony rides) in the AM; gymnastics at noon; best friend Z's b-day in the afternoon.
Sunday August 2nd: Bobbin's own b-day party in the afternoon
Tuesday August 4th: Bobbin's school b-day celebration (we'll bring cupcakes and party hats :-))
Saturday August 8th: Gymnastics.
Sunday August 9th: Best friend A's b-day in the afternoon
Saturday August 15th: School chum b-day in the AM; gymnastics at noon.
Somewhere in there will be best friend L's b-day as well; she was born exactly 1 week after Bobbin, and Bobbin will not want to miss her party.
That's not to say that we'll be DOING everything listed. I actually haven't told Bobbin about two of those events yet; I'll play it by ear and see how *I'm* feeling about it :-) I am still the Mom, even if I am lacking an active social life myself :-)
I've been very delinquent in publishing, let alone maintaining, Bobbin's photo albums since March. So if you wanna know what we've been up to, aside from the random photos published directly from my iPhone, you can now check out our updated April, May, June, and July 2009 photo albums.
Considering that whenever we go out to a store, any store, she ends up finding all kinds of crap that she wants, her "birthday list" is now 12 pages long, along with her "Christmas list", "easter list" and "valentines day list". Of course, with every thing she adds to her list I remind her that she'll need to take something else off of it to make room.
The list, is of course, in our heads and not written down. Intentionally. These lists, afterall, are not binding contracts. And what ends up getting forgotten is best left forgotten :-)
So I'm not worried at all that she'll be disappointed when she doesn't actually receive the majority of the items that have made it onto her "list". She's actually a pretty happy kid in general. With the exception of the doll clothes tantrums, she is actually quite genuinely touched when someone gives her a gift. Her friend Miss E! recently gave her a seashell. It still had some dirt in it. Bobbin loved it, and kept asking, wonderingly, "Why did Ella want me to have this? Why did she want to give me a present? She gave me the big shell. She could have given me the little shell".
But, since I am getting asked this question quite often now, with her birthday less than a month away, I thought I'd oblige by publishing a short list of interests. these are in no particular order.
1) Story books - in particular fairy tales. With copious amounts of evilness spread throughout. She LOVES books, and I love to indulge and encourage that :-) Although fairy tales are generally a sure bet, she's also developed a love for zany characters, which is totally fun. Her favourite right now is Amelia Bedelia. She LOVES Amelia Bedelia. Can't get enough of her, and asked if there are more Amelia Bedelia books (she only has one; I think there are more).
2) Puzzles - anything that is marked as age 4 or age 5 is challenging enough to be fun but not so challenging as to be frustrating.
3) Barbie dolls and barbie clothes. The flashier, sparklier, foofier the better. Although Ginger, Spicey, Tom, and Rivers have pooled their resources and will be giving her Vetrinary Barbie, complete with stethescope and examining table and 2 animals, to balance out the foofiness. Bobbin does love doctor stuff. She's certainly met her fair share of them :-)
4) ) These 3 1/2" Disney Favorite Moments Princess doll collections. I have NO idea what they are actually called, although searching Amazon.com's Toy department for "Disney Favorite Moments" (yeah, use the american spelling) tends to bring up the relevant items. She goes NUTS over them. They are these little 3 1/2" plastic dolls that come with rubbery kind of dresses and accessories that you can dress them in. They're pretty easy to manipulate since the dresses and stuff are just slip on and off with no fasteners or anything. So far she's collected Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, and Ariel. She just has the individual figurines. None of the fancy play sets that come with multiple outfits, characters, or other accessories. The nice thing about these is that they are CHEAP. And pretty durable near as I can tell. And she will sit on her bed for HOURS playing with them - they have parties, go to balls, climb mountains, go fishing... all in fancy ball gowns of course. I can't even imagine what she'd do if she ever got one of these.
5) Arts and Crafts. She loves doing "projects". As long as there are sparkles, glue, and/or paint involved, she's a pretty happy camper.
6) Dress up. Anything princess-y is a sure bet. And it doesn't have to be new - she doesn't know the difference between something bought at Value Village and something bought at Target. It's all new to her. Her favourite dress right now is a purple party dress that I bought at Value Village this weekend for $1.99. It has a purple velvet top, and a fluttery skirt with purple flowers that twirls like a ballet skirt. She thinks it rocks. And it does, actually. Sparkly, twirly, girly stuff is popular.
7) Cuddly stuffed animals :-) A classic favourite.
As for what Mommy and Daddy are giving her this year: We will be surprising her with a real sandbox - the honest to goodness wood (actually poly lumber so it lasts forever) kind. She absolutely LOVES playing in sandboxes and building stuff, cooking stuff, dumping stuff, and digging for stuff. I think we may even put some buried treasure in it to get her started (I have a jar of old sparkly buttons that might be fun :-)). And a canopy for over her bed, which we think we're going to attempt to hang while she's asleep so she wakes up surprised. We may revise that plan depending on whether or not one of us falls directly onto the bed during the "practice run".
And really, anything that's wrapped will actually go over big, because half the fun for her is still just the unwrapping and not knowing what's inside :-)
Bobbin has been complaining of chest pains after she eats and when she's laying down to go to bed. Given her history with acid reflux as an infant, I figured it might be heartburn. We took her to the doctor, and now she takes prevacid twice a day. It seems to be working.
On occasion though, we forget to give her her medicine 30 minutes prior to eating dinner. Today was one such day. This is what transpired at the dinner table:
Tim and I start our usual chit chat, asking each other and Bobbin about our day. To Bobbin, we ask what did she do at school today, which of her friends was there, did she get to play in the woods, what did she learn in Spanish class, etc.
Bobbin is unusually silent in her responses.
I ask her what's wrong.
She says, calmly, and as if she's talking to a 3 3/4-year old preschooler, "Mommy, where is my hand right now?"
My response is "Your hand is on your chest, honey, why? Oh! Your hand is on your chest! You have heartburn! We forgot to give you your medicine!"
Bobbin says "That's right, Mommy!" as though I just correctly identified the colour blue for the first time.
The question is: Which one of us does she get that from?
Bobbin testing out her ever increasing vocabulary and her understanding of the world around her, here are a few of my recent favourites:
1) Mommy, is my birthday already in town?
2) Mommy, does Daddy's nose still hurt from his celery? (celery=surgery :-))
3) Mommy, I eat lots and lots of carrots at school and lots and lots of carrots at home too. So how come I can't see Grandma Anne and Grandpa Jerry's house from here?
4) Mommy, I know why we can't fly. It's 'cause of the gravity. It makes the earth so we stick to it.
5) Mommy, if I go to the moon and jump, will I land on earth?
My most vivid memories of the cottage, other than playing with the frogs and snakes, are clamouring through the ditches along the side of the road scavenging raspberries, wild strawberries, and blueberries to make "mush". :-) Was there anything better in the world?
Bobbin has taken to requesting "Abba" after school and on the weekends. Usually she's dressed in a sparkly princess dress, with a tipsy tiara perched precariously on her head. When the music starts playing she launches into a spirited combination of ballet twists, turns, and leaps; hip-hop moves; disco inspired dance steps; all with a flare of funk thrown in for good measure.
I'm in the process of downloading the most recent dance video now. Stay tuned; it'll be a good one :-)
7:05am - 8:00am - Eat breakfast; watch sesame street
8:00am - 8:15am - build a lego house, watch Curious George. Mom makes a dr appt for splinter on my foot.
8:15am - 8:26am - Get dressed under protest of having to go to the doctor
8:26am - 8:38am - Drive to doctor
8:40am - 8:50am - See doctor; put up mighty, epic struggle when doctor attempts to examine foot. Doctor surrenders, says, and I quote "It's not worth it", says to let it come out on its own, 2-3 weeks tops. She said it may get red, puffy, and ooze pus but not to worry. No more bare feet on deck.
8:58am -9:02am - drive to craft store; mommy promised if I was good at the doctor I could pick out a craft project.
9:02am - 9:45am - ride mechanical horsies, shop for art project, select large velvet colouring poster of a dragon, Mom picks out her own project.
9:45am - 10:15am - drive home, singing all the way
10:15am - 10:30am - potty dogs outside
10:30am - 11:15am - Paint the chest of drawers that Mom's making for my dollies' clothes
11:15-11:30 - wash the paint off of my hands and arms and face and legs
11:30 - 12:00 - Dog trainer guy shows up and fixes invisible fence
12:00 - 12:30 - I snack while mom finishes sewing my giant pillow case out of my flower bed sheet
12:30 - 12:35 - Mom cooks me hotdogs
12:35 - 12:45 - I eat Hotdogs and plums for lunch
We go to target - dog biscuits, knobs, and screws
I watch Wallace and Gromit's "A Close Shave"; Mom puts knobs on my drawers
I colour velvet dragon poster; we hang it in the kitchen on the french doors.
I play all the musical instruments I own. I do not put them away.
Mom and I write a fairytale and draw the pictures to go with the story
Mom blows up balloons and I get out my learning tower and start tossing them all over the house.
My chest of drawers is dry; I put in all my dolly clothes and spend the next hour pulling stuff out of the drawers and trying them on my dolls
I ask mom for my scissors and some paper, and cut up itty bitty pieces of confetti.
I do stamps.
I do stickers.
I read mom stories.
I try all my hairbands on Tommy. He looks prettiest in my butterfly hairband.
I feed the dogs biscuits. They like me.
Inspired by mom Mom's handiness with the power drill, I pretend to build stuff with my Elmo tool bench. Which I had Mom drag out of the basement.
I wrap my mom in towels and pretend she's getting married.
I get a bandaid for an invisible owie on my finger.
I try to convince my Mom that hotdogs for dinner would be better than steak on a stick. Even though I had them for lunch. She's not budging.
Oh wait... I'm not done... as my mom writes this I
pose for a picture with a floatie around my waist
I try and cnvince my mom and dad to fill up the pool so I can go swimming
when they don't I pretend I'm swimming by running around the house with a floatie around my neck and another one around my body and yell "WOOHOO THIS FEELS GOOD!" then I pretend my floatie is a beautiful necklace.
No preschoolers were (intentionally) harmed during filming of this event.
There was a pretty serious crash in the Piggyback race, resulting in some pretty gory blood on both knees and both elbows on the Dad and some traumatized hysteric crying by the preschooler who had been launched from the Dad's shoulders in the fall. And during the balloon head race, one of the girls' balloons popped while it was on her head. But thankfully neither of those involved Tim and Bobbin :-)
What preschoolers are learning in school these days
Posted by Heather on June 11, 2009 at 9:42 PM
I picked Bobbin up from school a bit early this afternoon. When we got home I figured she'd be hungry, so I asked her, "Hey kiddo, would you like me to get you a snack?" to which she responded, with her left hip jutted out, left leg bouncing up and down, left hand on waist,
"OH YEAH, BABY!"
in the high pitched voice of an almost-4-year-old but with the intonation of a New York construction worker.
After I recovered from my fit of snorting laughter (which guarantees that this will be a frequently repeated phrase from hereon in), I gave her a bowl full of Cheese Crackers. Apropos, wouldn't you agree?
Advance notice to those family and friends who are considering sending Bobbin clothes for her birthday: SHE'S PICKY AS HELL. If you do want to venture out into these rough waters, here is what you should know about what she will and will not wear.
1) Any article of clothing must be made of 100% jersey knit cotton. No other materials are acceptable unless it is a fancy poofy party dress, and then any material is acceptable as long as it is a "girl colour" and swirly. Denim is NEVER acceptable.
2) It must have pockets in the front. Same exemption to fancy poofy party dresses apply.
3) If it is a skirt, it must have shorts attached underneath. A skirt without attached shorts will not be worn except in the winter when it will be worn with wool tights, which will alleviate the worry of having the breeze blow up her skirt. It's not so much the exposure of her underpants that bothers her, as much as the feeling of the breeze "up there".
4) It must be a "girl colour". I have no idea what constitutes a "girl colour" since arbitrarily, blue, brown, and black fit into the "girl colour" classification.
5) If it is a t-shirt it must have a picture on it. And by picture, I mean a cutsie sparkly graphic print of some sort. Like "I (heart) Puppies" with a picture of a cute puppy.
Mom veto: Princess, Spoiled, Brat, Tease, and other egomaniacal or racy graphics and words are not permitted.
6) Long sleeve shirts are not to have cuffs around the wrist that are tighter than the sleeves themselves.
7) Turtle necks are for turtles, not Bobbins.
8) Shirts are not to be ruched at the sides.
9) Capri length pants are OUT. So are long shorts.
10) Regular shorts are deemed acceptable provided they meet all other criteria, but it should be noted that they rarely make an appearance past our front door.
11) Full length pants must be no longer than the bottom of the ankle and no shorter than the top of the ankle.
12) Dresses must have full twirly skirts. For a more complete definition of twirly see here. Dresses are not required to have pockets, although it is beneficial. Nor are they required to be made of 100% jersey knit cotton as long as the twirl factor is acceptable. Note: Full-pleated dresses and skirts are, for some reason, not acceptable no matter how twirly they are.
13) Skirts with built-in shorts underneath do not have to be twirly. They just have to have pockets.
14) "No-feet" tights are highly preferred over footed tights.
15) Tights made of materials that easily run are not permitted.
16) Clothing must be stain resistant and washable on regular cycle with regular detergent and require no ironing. Clothing must not shrink when dried in the drier. (ok, this one is mine. But if it has stains she won't wear it so... )
Mornings lately have been a bitch. We've had to institute a few hard rules in the household as well.
1) no matter what, Mommy leaves the house at 8:30am (earlier on Wednesdays). So if Bobbin wants my help getting dressed, which she usually does even though she's capable of dressing herself, she needs to be able to select her clothes and have them on before 8:30am. I have left her sobbing in tears pleading with me to "Don't GO MOMMY" twice in a row so far this week. Hmm... this is only tuesday. This trend does not bode well for the remainder of the week.
2) If it isn't in her closet or drawer, then it is dirty and not available to be worn, no matter how much she begs and pleads.
3) Laundry gets done on the weekend. On the rare occasion Tim or I may opt to do laundry during the week day, but it is by no means a guarantee or a promise.
4) If it has no visible significant stains then it can be worn the next day, and the day after, etc. until such a time as visible significant stains appear, or until such a time as it is in such a bad state that the teachers would have reason to call Child Protection Services. However this rule may NEVER be applied to Underwear or Socks.
5) If she throws a fit or a tantrum in the morning, then her favourite article of clothing gets put into the timeout basket for a minimum of 24 hours and until she has demonstrated appropriate behaviour.
6) If she tells me she hates me or calls me stupid, she's on her own for getting dressed.
8) If she wants me to pick out her outfit, then she either wears what I pick or, if she doesn't like what I pick, she must pick out her own outfit. She gets one chance.
9) When it's summer, the wool tights get packed away. She can wear lightweight no-feet tights if she really feels the need to wear tights (I lost that battle) but not thick wool tights. Oh... and by the way... It's SUMMER here in our household. Remember that when you are talking to her. It's not summer at your house, but it is summer here.
Did I mention mornings have been a bitch?
And yes, I am more than aware that I was just as picky about my wardrobe at that age. It was the 70's and so my requirements were somewhat different. My favourite pants were pink with vertical white pinstripes, and wide bottoms that, when I stood with my legs really close together, looked like it was just a long dress. These pants also had a matching pink with vertical white pinstripe zipper jacket to go with it. The two could not be worn separately. And did i mention they were polyester? I guess you probably guessed that. I wouldn't wear any other pants at all except for a vague memory I have of brown polyester wide-bottom pants. For the most part, I wore dresses. And tights. And I preferred turtlenecks to blouses with buttons. Even in the summer. And if the shirt or top had any adornment or elastic in or on it, it had to be shielded in such a way that I could not feel it against my skin when I was wearing it.
Yes... creepily similar, I know. Which is why I came up with I think some reasonably compromising rules, and which is why I had her clean out her closet and drawers of all clothing that she knew she would never ever wear, and why I went out and bought her (thankfully, on sale at Osh-Kosh at 70% off for the most part) a set of skirts, tights, and tops that all fit the above criteria. With the rule that, if we experienced any more tantrums or fights in the morning getting dressed, the first clothing to go into the timeout basket would be her new clothes. There was nothing I hated more than wearing clothes that I wasn't comfortable with. It wasn't so much the look as it was the feel against my skin. I would have long drawn out battles with my mom, primarily, over what I would and would not wear and what was and was not acceptable, not unlike the battles that Bobbin has been having with me. It took me a few days to realize the scary similarity. And since the worst feeling in the world to me was wearing clothes that I wasn't comfortable in, that made me cringe and my skin crawl at the mere thought of having to put something on that I knew I wouldn't like, I realized that I needed to try and respect her preferences, as weird as they may seem to me now. BUT that also means that she has what she has - there will be no new clothes coming into the house for the rest of the summer (unless one of you is crazy enough to want to try and buy her something. But I highly encourage you instead to donate any money you would have spent on clothes for Bobbin to the Goodwill or Salvation Army or some children's charity :-)) AND because every one of her new articles of clothing has received her personal stamp of approval, there are to be no more temper tantrums in the morning, and no more unrealistic demands at 8:00am to "WASH MY ORANGE SKIRT NOW BECAUSE THATS WHAT I WANT TO WEAR" or shouts of "NO MOMMY I DON"T WANT TO PICK OUT MY CLOTHES. I WANT YOU TO PICK OUT WHAT I WANT TO WEAR BUT I DONT WANT TO WEAR ANYTHING IN MY CLOSET". Yes, these are actual quotes. Because the first time I hear that, I'll be bringing her to school in her jammies (which I know she finds comfortable) and tossing her new clothes into the timeout basket. Unless it's 8:30am. In which case, I'll be out the door on my way to work and it'll be Tim's problem to deal with. :-)
Oh yeah, and before I forget: Debra, does Miss E still wear a size 4? If so, I have some clothes for you to look at :-) If they meet her criteria and fit her, then you can just bring 'em back to us after she grows out of them. Chances are, Bobbin will have changed her tastes by then and we may be able to give them a second try ;-)
*sigh*
I remember well your penchant for polyester and wide legs, as 8 years later I was resigned to wearing the same items if they had survived into the mid eighties. That's one for the "cons" column of being a second child: wardrobe pickiness is pretty much a non-starer, no matter how dated the handmedowns are.
Pants, skirts and shorts mostly a 4 (for waist) but they need to be long enough for her height and no front pockets or zippers or denim or canvass or short pants, tops are a 5 (for length) and pictures could ok but no stripes (except small ones) and anything with lace or sparkles work...sigh...
Remember back in Germany, when I was turning 6 or 7 (before Sarah was born, I'm sure about that), I had a birthday party and invited all my friends over. We all wore our long dresses 'cause that was the thing for little girls to do back in 76/77. I was REALLY into barbies at the time. And pretty, shimmery, sparkly barbie clothes.
You and Dad had come up with a bunch of games for us to play at my party - stuff like pick-up-sticks and Snakes and Ladders (that's "Chutes and Ladders" to my fellow Americans. What, you all afraid of snakes down here or something? Bunch of sissies :-)).
And Mom, you had gone out and bought a bunch of prizes. Enough for all the guests at the party to get one, whether they "won" a game or not. You put them all in a plastic bag, and then would let the "1st", "2nd", "3rd" etc. winner stick their hand in the bag with their eyes closed to pick out a prize.
You showed me the prizes before the party. Or maybe I stumbled upon them myself. I don't remember exactly. But I DO remember deciding that the beautiful bright yellow polyester and chiffon-y 70's style one piece barbie halter top pantsuit trimmed in gold and with a matching cape was TO DIE FOR. I wanted it. Had to have it.
Well, At some point it was my turn to pick a prize. I scrounged around for the thing that felt most like the barbie outfit still in its flat package. I don't remember what it is I actually ended up pulling out, but I do remember it was NOT the bright yellow polyester and chiffon-y one piece barbie halter top pantsuit trimmed in gold.
I had a HUGE fit. I cried and stomped my feet and yelled NOT FAIR. Totally embarassed myself in front of my friends, I'm sure. Thankfully those were the days when parents would drop their kids off at the party and then run, so YOU weren't quite as embarassed. You sent me to my room in the middle of my party. You explained how it was my party and I had a lot of wonderful presents that my friends had brought me, and that I was acting spoiled throwing such a fit over a barbie outfit, ruining everyone's good time, and thinking only of myself. And, the kicker, was you telling me that there were in fact TWO such pantsuits to be won, but because of the way I had just acted, I was getting neither. I think I yelled and cried NOT FAIR even harder. You made me stay in my room until I had calmed down. Luckily I did so before the party ended.
Yeah... so anyway, if you went to bed that night totally exasperated and silently wished that I would grow up and have a daughter of my own that would behave in exactly the same way, I just wanted to let you know YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED.
And I want to say I'm sorry for every act of spoiled rotten behaviour I ever exhibited.
And I want to ask you to go to bed tonight and silently rescind your wish. I have now, finally, learned my lesson. No need for this to continue. I get it. It sucks. So can I have a polite daughter now?
All my sincerest love,
Your (now) sweet and well mannered, thoughtful and empathetic daughter,
Heather
P.S. Here's the story that spawned this note :-)
Previously, you will recall that I crocheted my beloved Bobbin a new dress for her baby doll. Setting a good example, was I? Let me tell you what happened.
I finished the dress after she went to bed. She knew I was making it and had been begging me to be finished with it so she could put it on her baby doll. And so after I finished it, I went into her room while she was sleeping, got one of her baby dolls and put the dress on it, and left it in the corner of her bed next to the pillow.
In the morning she woke up and came into our room, as she does often these days. And I asked her if she had seen her surprise. She ran back into the room to look on her bed. I still had the baby monitor on. I heard a crash, thump thump thump, and then her yelling "I DIDN'T WANT IT ON THIS DOLLY. I WANTED IT ON MY OTHER DOLLY. I HATE THIS DRESS". I went into her room and saw the doll laying face down on the floor.
I was totally crushed on the inside. I felt like crying. I cramped my fingers making that damn dress for her. But on the outside I said "That was rude and mean. I worked hard on this for you. You need to sit in here and think about how to graciously accept a gift. Don't come out until you've figured it out".
And yes, I did take the time to explain what the word "gracious" meant.
Then I took the dress and threw it in the timeout basket on top of the china cabinet. She erupted into tears and shrieks of "I WANT THE DRESS! I LIKE THE DRESS! GIVE ME MY DRESS BACK! IT'S MY DRESS". I sent her back to her room.
Eventually I gave it back to her. She smiled and said "Thank you, mommy. I really like this gift". Yeah. But it was genuine I think, because later on she kept referring to it as her "Princess Dress" and even took the time to note the little sparkly butterfly button I had sewn on her belt (Ben Franklin has this huge bin of stray buttons - 10 for 99 cents or something like that. I bought a bunch of the sparkly ones. Of course I had to dig through the bin for about half an hour to find them all. Me and about 3 other women, all of whom were significantly greyer than me. luckily one was on a "Zoo Animal" theme, another was on a "Nautical" theme, and the third was going for anything black. So the sparkly butterflies were all mine :-)) She also noticed the little silver sparkly bead in the back that I used as a button to close it at the top.
So yeah... eventually we ended up in a good place. But DAMN I was pissed off!
Ah well... better she learn the lesson with a gift I give her, than with one someone else does. Still.... grrrr!
So there. What comes around goes around. I can't WAIT until we hit the teenage years. Not.
hehehe....I remember your teenage years...lol...she'll be fine with a good friend or two to lean on.. ;-) (one of them being her mother)
Posted by Lisa on May 17, 2009 6:43 PM.
This is what childhood is *for*, though. It's *about* falling irrationally in love with a Barbie pantsuit to the point where you lose all perspective. It's *about* wanting a dress on THIS doll instead of THAT doll to the point where (again) you lose all perspective. Children *have* to do this so that they *learn* perspective. The only way is: development + lessons = maturity. If kids didn't repeatedly lose perspective about stuff, they would not get the repeated interventions and training in self-control which they need.
In other words: it's not that you and/or Bobbin were "impolite" or anything else. You and Bobbin were very young, and learning.
Plus, you and Bobbin are *passionate* and in love with life and beauty and your own visions. This is a gift. Eventually, Bobbin will learn to integrate her inner vivid-ness with outer self-control. (And then she'll hit the teen years and have to start all over again.) But it will happen. In the meantime, celebrate that Bobbin *cares* enough to have a reaction, even if it's a raw and un-skillful one. Celebrate yourself for the same reason. Celebrate that you once saw such beauty in a Barbie pantsuit that you lost all perspective. Forgive yourself and love yourself. This is what makes us human.
Last Sunday we were honoured to be invited over to the home of some friends of ours... who actually live on a farm :-) Horses, goats, chickens... the whole shebang! It was very cool.
Bobbin had fun watching the baby chicks, romping with the baby goats, petting the horses, and chasing the dogs (two of which were greyhounds, so you can imagine the workout she got :-)). But by far and away the part that most enchanted her was holding and cuddling the baby kittens. They were no more than a week and a half old, and she was sooooo enthralled with these kittens. When they clung onto her shirt with their tiny claws she giggled, and when they creeped up and nuzzled into her neck she looked like she was in love. It was magical and beautiful to watch the expression on her face, and the light in her eyes. It melted me. So bad that I almost asked Tim if we could take one home :-)
Thanks all, for the wonderful time! She's still talking about it :-)
It was so fun to see Bobbin, G and L playing together and petting the animals. We really need to do this again. I'm good at just inviting myself over to their farm :-) I'm glad you guys were able to come that day too. Now that the weather is getting nicer we'll need to make it a more regular occurance.
This is classic Bobbin story telling, with the hand gestures and colourful adjectives and facial expressions, and complicated plot twists. Listen for the part about the "evil prophecy". Yes, yes, I said "evil prophecy". And watch her face when she says it. You really get a sense of just how evil it is. And don't even try to guess how the story ends!
Unfortunately I didn't quite get the camera rolling until after the "Once Upon A Time" beginning, but you get the best stuff :-)
For those who have a bit of trouble making out the audio, the transcript is below :-)
(Once upon a time there was a King in a castle. One day,) the king's son went out and looked for a pony and the fairy and he didn't find it anywhere. And then the king said "Where is them?" and nobody said nothing. It was getting dark and windy and really, really foggy and cold and it started to get really, really dark. And then the cave opened up really big and then the king went inside the cave really, really quietly and he was really scared and he tripped over something and it maked a really loud sound and he said "EEEeeeeeee" and then he runned out the cave and then and then somebody said "Sorry!" And then somebody went in with him and then it was a little girl and a little pony but it too soft for them to get inside and they said "WwwwWWwwWwwww" and it got all light and clear. And there was rain, and a rainbow, and then it would get all dark again. And all the wind came, and there was a wind storm, and then it thundered and lighteninged with stratistation. And then the evil prophecy came with an evil witch. She brought a mean, mean ghost and a mean, mean, and then she died in an explaysion and then that's the end.
I've had some requests for video of Bobbin telling one of her stories. It's not really an easy thing to capture on video, given that she knows when she's being "filmed" and tends to ham it up, or clam it up, depending on her mood. I did manage to get a couple recently but they both are a little devoid of the usual embellishments and both end rather abruptly, I think, in part because she knows I'm capturing it on camera. Without the camera, these things can go on and on and on and on and... and the facial expressions and voice tones and descriptive narrative are much more colourful :-) I'll have to find a way to set up a hidden camera ;-) Still, these ones are pretty entertaining. At least, I think so!
For those of you who can't quite make out the words in the video, I've included written transcripts below. Enjoy :-)
The Frog King and the Golden Shampoo
Once upon a time, there was a little girl that loved to wear her same clothes. She used to wear a brown and pink dress with purple, and she never weared the same clothes before so she weared black and white and yellow and blue and green and orange and yellow and purple. And she didn't like those colours but she needed to wear them.
There was a, there was a little charming fairy. And then, and then the princess grew up to be a little girl, a big little girl. And then grew up to be a big princess. And then the princess saw a king frog. He had a big circle crown on with lots and lots of diamonds. And he said "RIBBIT" and then the princess lost her golden shampoo. She losed it in the, in the deep muddy cell, um, um, pond. And then, and then, and then, a ooooh, wait. I said that's the end. Happily ever after.
The tale of the Golden Fairy, the Lion, and the Princess Pony
Once upon a time, there was a golden fairy and she lived with a princess pony. And then the dragon came. And the pony ran and ran and ran all they way to their home. Um um um, mmm and then she seed a big LION and they ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran all the way home! And then the big dragon said "RRRRRR" and then they ran ran ran ran ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and runned and runned and runned and runned and runned and runned and runned and [SQUEEEEAAAAAL] all the way all the way all the way home.
I finally got around to uploading my March and AprilBobbin Photo Albums. I'm taking far fewer pictures these days because it's all I can do just to keep up with her :-) That and the fact that I lost a bunch of photos that I had on my iPhone because I forgot to back it up before getting the phone replaced to fix my 3G network problem... ah well. I can probably piece them together but who has that kind of time?!
A new milestone is achieved in the fine art of parental manipulation
Posted by Heather on April 15, 2009 at 10:56 PM
not to mention in her grasp and usage of the English language as she masters the use of the simile:
"Mommy, you are as beautiful as a rainbow princess and you smell like a garden full of rose flowers", she says as she smiles sweetly, gazing into my eyes, cupping my face in her tiny hands.
She's good, isn't she. I admit it - I melted.
And to think this is the same mouth that also utters such phrases as "NOISY POOP-MAKER". She's nothing if not multi-faceted.
I thought it was "noisy fart maker"? Though caps off if she's realizing the same orifice is involved in both processes.
If you need a copy of the lyrics to Seagull Seagull or Mary Cartwright, just let me know. I'd be happy to e-mail them. :-)
Reading one of Bobbin's old potty training books that she dragged out the other night as her choice for a bedtime story. It's entitled "Once Upon a Potty":
Me: Hello. I am Prudence's mother. I'd like to tell you about Prudence and her new potty. This is Prudence. Prudence is a little girl (who is totally n*ked in the illustration, smiling happily holding her mother's hand).
turn page
Me: Just like you, Prudence has a body, and this body has many nice and useful parts: A head for thinking, Eyes for seeing, Ears for hearing, A mouth to talk and eat with, Hands for playing, A [insert correct anatomic name here which I've chosen to omit so as to avoid those internet searchers who are looking for something entirely different] for making Pee Pee, Legs for walking and running, and a bottom for sitting and in it a little
Bobbin (shouting): NOISY FART-MAKER!!! (as she points to the little hole visible in the illustration of Prudence bending over, smile visible between her legs)
Me: Get in in the car please.
Bobbin: No
Me: Yes please.
Bobbin: I don't want to right now.
Me: You don't really have a choice.
Bobbin: Oh. Then I can do this the easy way, or I can do this the hard way.
So, the gift in the previous photo was actually the dress she was wearing as well as the matching dress for the barbie doll, and the barbie doll itself, which is what Bobbin chose to purchase with the little bit of money left that we didn't deposit into her bank account from Grandma and Grandpa. Yeah, that's right. A barbie. I played with them, and I turned out ok. I think... um... well, yeah, I'm in therapy but not for that :-). So the dress came with a matching barbie dress, and she HAD to have it, and was totally bummed when I explained she didn't have any dolls that would fit it, so we found a $4.99 barbie in a bathing suit on clearance just for the dress.
It was while she was sitting there brushing her doll's hair that she started blurting out about how the doll looked JUST LIKE HANNAH MONTANA, MOMMY! And she is SUCH a GOOD SINGER. And I like High School Musical too, and they are SUCH good singers too. And they DANCE and have LOTS of FUN.
I have NO idea where that came from. Tim and I have never even vaguely referenced eitherr, so it had to come from school. When I asked her how she knew about it though, she referred to a friend from her old school whom she hasn't seen in many months.
Yeah!!! I've been looking forward to the time that Bobbin starts playing with Barbie dolls. For no other reason than I LOVE to make fancy, sparkly Barbie clothes and L is just too young for Barbies yet (and if he ever is into Barbies, Roger will have a heart attack ;-)
This one has a sandbox and teeter totter! The only way I could get her
to leave the last playground was to promise to get drive thru
mcdonalds and eat it outside at the playground across the street from
it.
Otherwise she wouldn't have eaten at all :-) Suffice it to say after
devouring her cheeseburger she got her second wind (and the first one
was still going pretty strong too)
Ahhh, I love this park. Now that the weather is hopefully going to take a turn for the better soon, maybe we'll see you guys at the park. I've got cabin fever from the crazy winter weather this year, so I'm sure the kids do too.
You know what's really sad? Music from the early 90s is now considered "retro". The 80s are downright vintage.
The other day I had some of the kids at the program mesmerized by my tales of life before the XBOX 360. I told them about how you and I spent what must've been hours one Sunday morning typing in line after line of BASIC so we could play Hang Man on the VIC-20. They wondered why we didn't just play it on paper. Kids these days, man.
You'll notice a theme among these stories. Don't worry; she doesn't actually require therapy. They're derived from an alternate version of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" that I told her, called "The Girl Who Cried OWWWIEEE". I made it up when we were going through this phase of Bobbin crying fake tears and claiming to be bleeding. Which we repeatedly found not to be true. None of these is the actual story I told her. Most of it is of her own creation.
As with the previously published stories, these are verbatim. All the words and "punctuation" is hers. I recorded these using a voice recording app I downloaded to my iPhone, and then transcribed them, because I can. I do type that fast. I kept the original recordings because there's some stuff that you can't get from reading them like the tone of her voice, and the dramatic pauses although I've tried to capitalize and insert punctuation to simulate it. It's really not the same though. However I also find it extremely entertaining to just read the stories later. And so I figured that the Grandmas, Grandpas, and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Mikes and other family at the very least would derive some pleasure from reading them and imagining her voice and facial expressions and hand gestures (the latter two of which you don't get from the voice recordings either, obviously! ;-)
We were home sick today and she went on a story telling rampage to help pass the time since I wouldn't let her run, bounce, tumble, skip, hop, climb, or jump because she would erupt in fits of coughing whenever she did. So after hours of colouring pictures, and then hours of watching movies, she decided to tell her own stories to entertain the two of us. You'll see that she runs out of steam near the end of each story and the stories themselves get shorter and shorter as the day wore on. I kinda like the effect.
The Girl who Ignored (sometimes also entitled "The Cannibal Chicken")
Once upon a time there was a little girl who liked to play down by the beach. And she went down to the beach. She played alone. She was very, very bored. She liked to ignore people a lot. She ignored people by saying "GO AWAY!" And she liked to be mean to each other. And she was a little girl and she loooooved her Mommy and Daddy and she came and asked her Mommy and Daddy if they could play with her, and she asked her Mommy "Can you please play with me?" and the Mommy said "No, I have to milk the chickens -- I mean feed the chickens some eggs." And then she ran over to her Daddy and said "Dad; Daddy can you play with me?" And he said "No, I have to milk the cows." And she just said "Hmmm. I think that I could ignore them." And she went over by the river, the beach I mean, and she said "GO AWAY!" And everybody came running away from her. And she was really, really bored. She liked to ignore people a lot so one day so she went down by the river where she likeded to go and she called "GO AWAY!" And something happened to her. And she cried "OWWIEEEEE" and everybody came running.
And that's the end.
The Rainbow Dancer and the Biting Dog
Once upon a time there lived a little girl that loved dancing in the rainbows, and she had no rainbows at her house 'cause she was being mean all the time. And her doggie had to listen to the rules and the little girl asked him, 'cause she had no mommy and daddy, and she thought she asked him to bite. And they didn't really bite and they didn't really listen to the words. And in the story, that was the end.
The Girl who Screamed 'OWWIEEEE'
One day there was a little, little, tiny girl. She used to be lonely. But one day long ago she thought to scream "owie". And she said "OWIEEEEE" and everybody dropped their things. They came running, running, running. They said "What's wrong?" and then the person said "Nothing's wrong. I was just bored and I wanted my Mommy and Daddy to cook me dinner and there's nobody to cook me dinner". And her Mommy and Daddy said "That's not ok. go to your room." And she went to her room and she was feeling lonely again and she thought that she'd ask her Mommy and Daddy. So she went outside and she drawed a picture and she thought to call "owie" and she said "OWIEEEEE" and everybody dropped their toys and they came running again really, really fast. And they got there to the river and they said "What's wrong?" And she said "Nothing's wrong. There's just a dinosaur pulling my hair." And the Mommy and Daddy said "That's not ok. Go to your room." She went to her room. The next morning she went up and waked up. She got her jammies off and put her clothes on and she thought she'd colour a picture outside and she thought she would call "Mommy", I mean, "owie" and she called "OWIEEEEE" and everybody in their beautiful dresses came and dropped their things and ran and ran as fast as they can and they finally got there and they said "What's wrong?" She said "I put my foot on a rock and rolled." And it didn't really happen. So she went to her room lonely again. And the Mommy and the Daddy lived happily ever after. That is the end of the story.
The Lonely Woodcutter
Once upon a time there was a woodcutter that was very lonely. And he was very, very sad. He had no kids or mom and dad. He was just an old woodcutter that was very lonely. So when he called out for a friend that he could play with nobody came. And there was no one the same age like him. And that's the end.
The Famous Colouring Prince
One day a little boy had a king and queen and he was a famous prince. And he loved his Mom and Dad and played by the river a lot. And he loved to colour. The End.
As told, verbatim, by Bobbin. Recorded March 31, 2009 at 7:25pm. 4 minutes and 4 seconds.
One day there was a bouncing bear and they lived in a rustic old forest. And it was really, really dark. And Goldilocks' mom said "Go get some rye pancakes and some syrup". And she saw a little tiny piece of wood that she could go. And she went to the woods and she saw bears. They said "ROAAAR" and she went and runned and runned and runned back home and her Mommy said "Did you get some pancakes and syrup?" And she said "Yes". She looked in her backpack. She found some. In her backpack. She didn't find some but she did find old ones.
She went and put them in the bear family. They waked up and they looked up and
DADDY'S HOME!!!!
And there was a mean bear. The End.
DADDY!!! You're HOME! Come eat dinner!
The Epic Tale of the Mommy, Daddy, Princess, Witch, and the Mean and Good Fairies
Posted by Heather on March 31, 2009 at 9:17 PM
As told, verbatim, by Bobbin. Recorded March 31, 2009 at 7:17pm. 6 minutes and 26 seconds.
Once upon a time there was a princess and a mommy. The Daddy died because he was very old. And the Mommy went out to fetch flowers for the garden. She saw a big woods. She tiptoed inside the woods and the kid was still at home. She was really, really, really, happy and she thought her Mom would come home. And she didn't come home.
And she saw a BIG cave, the big Mommy did. She tiptoed inside the cave. There was a DRAGON! And she said "Let me out! Let me out!" and she cried and cried and cried. And she finally got out one day. She was really, really sad. 'Cause the kid said "Wuh oh Wuh oh!" and she went out the door. There was nobody in the house now except for the Dad. He was the only person there. [I thought the Dad was dead!] He was but the fairy made him come back.
So Daddy was the only person there. And he was really tired now, and he went out the door. There was nobody there now except for one of the fairies. It's one of the mean fairies. And the mean fairy's name was Shameeteep. That was a mean, mean name. And the mean witch cast a beautiful, beautiful green spell. And it was really, really green. And it was a mean person, a mean person that somebody had helped cast a spell on. And when the mean bad sister came out, the good fairy Maleesh pulled the mean Daddy's witch's face and it hurt and hurt and hurt.
Hey that's the pie!
And there was a party at one of the fairies' house. And when the mean fairy Kaleesh and the mean witch, the big big fireworks came and it exploded into giant, giant, GIANT rocks. And it leaved behind a big fireworks. And it was really, really scary in the movie, and everyone said "OUT!" and the people dropped their things and ran as fast as they could. And they said "What's wrong?" and one of the people said "Nothing's wrong. I was just bored because no one is playing with me". But that's not ok. "Go to your room". And she went to her room all by herself, crying very, very bad tears. And she went crying "I want my Mommy" and the people went to the river and she liked to balance on rocks and she balanced on one rock and it rolled and she accidentally got her foot stuck. And she cried and cried and cried. And her Mommy and Daddy realized she was really hurt this time. And they runned and runned and runned and runned and they finally got to the river and there was a mean witch. There was a big explosion and a very nice celebration and that was the end of the story.
Can I have more juice?
About the Author
Bobbin lives with her Mommy and Daddy on the West Coast of the United States. She loves stories - both telling them and having them told to her. She has a vivid imagination. She's fascinated by the struggle of good vs evil. She is a big fan of princesses, witches, and fairies. And explosions. She is the devoted caretaker to two dogs and two cats. She loves preschool. Her favourite dinner is Macaroni and Cheese with Hotdogs and her favourite drink is watermelon juice. Her favourite music is Rock And Roll. She's mastered her ABC's but is still learning about how to combine them into real words, so she relies on her mother to transcribe her stories for her. She has a really cool mother.
I read this one to the ladies at work. It was a hit. They want to know dates for the book tour. There's a Chapters in Belleville. That's probably the closest location to us.
I'm not religious. I was baptized and attended my first communion and attended a catholic church most Sundays including regular Sundays until the age of 8 or 9 I think. I sang in the church choir until the choir director decided my voice was not the sort one wants near the microphone and I was banished to the back row. When I decided I didn't want to go to church anymore, I informed my parents and they were cool with it. It was my decision. And now that I'm all grown up I still don't really know what I believe in. I'm... agnostic. I'm open to possibilities. But I'm not attached to any one belief. However I am mindful that others are, and try to be respectful of that. And I remember being admonished by my mom the first time she heard me say "Oh my GOD" because that was taking the Lord's name in vain. Although I imagine my admonishment was probably nothing like what my mother would have received from HER mother. But I am highly doubtful that my mother would have said anything of the sort in front of her mother. And I digress.
So I was a bit stumped when I first heard the words "Oh MY GOD!" pass from Bobbin's lips. My first instinct was to say that's not ok to say. But then she'd want to know why. And that would require some sort of excursion into the realm of religion. Which I would fumble, because I'm not entirely sure what I believe about God myself. And then we'd get all abstract. And it would just spiral into a bit pit of nonsensical blabber from there. At least from the viewpoint of a 3 1/2 year old. OR I could take the shortcut and just be a hypocrite. Not an example I want to set either. So instead, I went with this:
"Honey, you know some people's feelings might get hurt if you say 'Oh My God' in front of them. It's not really a nice thing to say. If you feel you really must say something you can say "Oh my gosh" instead. or "Oh my goodness". Or just "Oh my".
And sure enough, right on queue, she asked the very logical question "Why is 'Oh My God' not ok to say but 'Oh My Gosh' is ok to say? Why Mommy? Will it make people cry?"
To which I replied "Well, probably not. But it isn't appropriate. And it might offend some people"
To which she responded "Why isn't it appropriate? Why will it make people upset?"
And here we go. Standing at the edge of a very steep cliff, the wind blowing fiercely against our backs.
"Well, honey, think of someone that's really really special to you", I said.
"My pink teddy bear!" she replied enthusiastically.
"Ok, good. Now your pink teddy bear is really really special to you right? And if someone came up to you and shouted 'That bear is yucky!' it would probably make you feel a little angry right? Because the bear is special and you love it, and you want people to treat it with respect".
"My bear IS special. Everyone should respect my bear"
"Ok, well, some people feel that 'God' is very special to them. And to hear someone say "Oh My God!" when they're upset, it's like you're being disrespectful to 'God' because they think 'God' is special. And they might not feel very happy about it. And so we don't say it in that way".
"God is like my pink teddy bear. It's special".
Yeah. Hell, that works for me. And then we moved on to lullabies. Thank God.
Yesterday evening after she finished doin' her business in the bathroom:
Me: Hey, are you gonna wash your hands? Bobbin: I did already. Me: I was standing right here and I saw you did not. Bobbin. Well, I WILL then. Me: Great! Bobbin: ok. Well I want to be alone. Please leave. Me: Ok. But I'm trusting you to do the right thing. Just because I'm not watching, doesn't mean you don't have to follow the rules. Bobbin: (actually rolls eyes)I KNOW THAT!
A few minutes later she comes out of the bathroom into her bedroom where I'm waiting for her. Her hands are behind her back.
Me: Did you wash your hands? Bobbin: I did. Me: Great! What do they smell like? Bobbin:(relieved at first that I hadn't asked to smell them myself, but then realizes that to maintain the charade she must tell another lie. She pauses to contemplate how to save face, and get out of telling another lie without revealing she had already told one) Umm, well, they actually don't smell like anything, really. I think maybe I should go and try washing them again! Me: That's probably a good idea. Bobbin(starts towards the bathroom but then turns back momentarily) I didn't told a lie, you know. Me: Well, only you can know that for sure. But I can make an educated guess. And since you're going to wash your hands "again" now anyway, it doesn't really matter. I can tell you one thing though. If you do ever tell me a lie, and I find out that you lied to me, It'll be a very very long time before I trust you again. And trust me when I say you don't want that.
She's so funny. Although I'll never let on that I find this amusing. When she's about to do something that she knows Tim or I will disapprove of, she will say "I don't want you to look at me right now. Can you go away for a minute?" which is always not-so-much-code for "I'm about to jump on the sofa and then somersault over the dog and I know I'm not supposed to do that but if you don't actually see me doing it you'll never know". Yeah, so not gonna happen. So I ask her if she's going to do something that she knows is wrong, and when she says yes or no, I say "just because I don't see you do it, doesn't mean that it's ok to do it. YOU know that it's wrong and YOU know that you'd be lying to me if you did something you're not supposed to. And what happens if you lie to me?" and she says "You'll never ever trust me ever again for ever". And for now, that's enough. And God help me if (please 'if' and not 'when') that's a price she ever decides she's willing to pay.
Must instill the automatic guilt while she's still young and impressionable and cares about what I think of her.
The other day we were walking through the forest and she came upon a bridge with no rails on the side. And she said "Mommy! I can jump off the bridge and go play in the mud! There's no fence there and no signs. See? It's ok for me to go down there". I asked her if she thought that would be a good idea. She wisely said no, but pointed out again that there are no rules against it. And we spent the rest of the mile talking about how just because something's not against the rules, that doesn't mean it's an open invite to do whatever it is she shouldn't be doing.
You really should write a parenting book :-) I'd read it! How in the world do you come up with this stuff on the fly. I am endlessly impressed with your nimble verbal skills when it comes to toddlers.
My friend Leanne, who made your amethyst jewelry for the wedding, has a bunch of magazines and stuff that show different beading/wire twisting patterns. I could ask her where she gets them if this beading is something you and Bobbin might be interested in exploring further.
It's that time of year again; when little girls adorned in berets and badges stand outside grocery stores in the rain and sleet, cheerily hawking boxes of cookies. Today was especially miserable and so I almost missed the cookie-laden collapsable banquet table and huddling girl scouts tucked away in the corner of the store awning, were it not for Bobbin's gleeful shout, "Look Mommy! The Bear Scouts are out selling their cookies!"
This was really made well - it was 3 or 4 lengths of 3" rope wrapped around a steel cable, the black spots were giant plastic heat shrink to keep it all attached to and wrapped nicely around the cable. I have a cable, just need the rope and we can build one!
He growls at kitties. But he doesn't chase or hunt them. So I think we can work with it.
He likes raspberries.
He enjoys long walks, and is good on a leash.
He would eat us out of house and home if we let him.
He hasn't yet mastered potty training. The silver lining: My floors are gradually getting cleaned in 3 foot swaths, as I rush to mop up the trail he's left on the way outside.
He wants to be a lap dog. But at 50 lbs, and a larger frame than Tommy's, that's not going to be permitted :-)
He prefers to sit on the sofa than the floor. That also is not permitted :-)
When he catches a scent, it excites him so much he leaps off the ground on all floors, and then he sticks to it like glue. And today he actually pointed! Seriously. Nose, paw, and everything. Wouldn't budge until I went in the direction he was pointing.
Even when he makes it outside in time to potty, he's still learning that the cars, the tent, and Bobbin's climber are NOT objects to which he can lift a leg.
He's very gentle and tolerant. As evidenced by his involuntary role as "baby" in Bobbin's game of "House" on the deck this afternoon.
He is motivated (very motivated) by food. And he's a quick study.
He can walk for miles. We only did just over 1 mile today 'cause I had Bobbin with me (and kudos to my princess! She walked over a mile today with me and Rivers, at a pretty good clip for her little legs, and with only one rest break. That's my girl! She inherited the walking gene! There's great fun in store for both of us thanks to that) It was clear though, that he had way more in him.
And so ends our first day. What a day it was. Check out our photos of today and while you're at it, see what we've been up to for the rest of the month of February :-)
It's actually been a pretty exhausting month so far...
Sandie loves fruit. I discovered this at KWF's cottage when she couldn't get enough blackberries. At home she likes bananas, apples and strawberries too. Nuts and crunchy veggies are also good.
We've entered a new level of sophistication in bedtime stall tactics. No longer is she depending on the primitive techniques of preschoolers of years past - the " I need to go potty / a drink of water / another kiss and hug / the light turned on" routine. Nor is she drawing upon the now passe "I heard a noise / I want to read just a little bit / I think I forgot to brush my teeth / my tummy hurts" series of delay tactics, although she's used these in the past as well. No, our future United States Senator has mastered the art of the filibuster for prolonging the bedtime routine.
Me: (singing) Over in Killarney
Bobbin: Mommy, I need to tell you something really important.
Me: Ok, go.
Bobbin: I really really want to go to the zoo, and I want to feed the giraffes, and I want to ride on a merry-go-round and I really want to see the butterflies and then I want to see the spring leaves on the tree, and I really want to see the flowers grow and I really don't want to go to school and I'm very not tired mommy, and I really think that when I get up in the morning I will want pancakes but I want to pick out my own clothes for school and I want to watch Sleeping Beauty and I want to go to the Animal Park and then I want to go get ice cream and I want to hear the birdies sing and watch them fly in the blue sky and then I want to ride my bike and go feed the ducks at the park and I like to climb and then I want to come home and tomorrow I want to pick hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for dinner and I really like the colour pink but not the bright pink, I like the light pink that you can't hardly see and I want to wear my princess dress and make it sparkle and I like to twirl and dance and spin and listening to music, and making music with instruments at school and I like playing with my friends and playing with puppies and I want to dream about butterflies and rainbows and Mommy, why are your eyes closed? And I think I need to go to the dentist Me: Many years ago...
She gave it a good try. And because I was feeling benevolent, I let her talk for quite some time before interrupting and putting the subject to rest, figuratively and literally.
Thankfully, this house is not Congress and bedtime is an executive decision that does not require a vote to enact (and even if it was subject to debate, it would always pass with a two thirds majority majority, since Tim and are authorized to proxy for each other, thereby making it filibuster-proof :-).
Posted by Heather on February 15, 2009 at 10:31 PM
Bobbin's conversational sophistication continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Tones, metaphors, affectations of sorts are all targets for experiment these days.
Today she was telling me about a girl in her class, whom I'll refer to as "R".
Bobbin: Mommy, "R" is in my class now. Me: Yes, I've seen you playing with her at school. She seems like a nice girl. Bobbin: (in an offhanded voice) Yes, for the most part. And I hear that she's my friend now. Did you know?
Posted by Heather on February 15, 2009 at 10:18 PM
Bobbin's been learning all kinds of things at school. Most good, but some not so good. Her latest preschool "gem" involves a lot of potty talk. I'm trying not to overreact so that it doesn't become a game. And I know it was bound to happen sooner than latter. I guess I'd rather sooner while she's much more easily influenced and still desires to please us.
Here are a couple of recent scenes.
At the dinner table the other night, Bobbin decided she was in more of a mood to fool around than she was to eat. Not a big deal, except that fooling around involved balancing precariously on her chair while standing, and tossing food from her plate back into the serving dishes. After asking her twice to mind her manners with no results, Tim resorted to psychology. "You're not behaving, Bobbin. We've asked you twice to stop fooling around and being rude and you're not listening. What should I do about that? What do you think I should do about that?" he asked rhetorically. Bobbin didn't hesitate to respond with a grin on her face, "Well, I think you should POOP YOUR PANTS, Daddy!" No time was wasted ushering her to her bedroom for the stern lecture and the banishment from the table for 3 minutes. She had no remorse, except for the fact that when she returned her food was cold.
Tonight we went out for dinner. Bobbin was on her best behaviour. And so I decided to offer a little positive encouragement. "Bobbin, you're being very well behaved. I'm so happy that you're minding your manners so well. Do you know how happy I am?" to which Bobbin promptly replied, "So happy that you POOPED YOUR PANTS?!" but she quickly added a sheepish "I'm sorry" before I could even open my mouth to admonish her. I did it anyway.
She's also started sticking her tongue out whenever she's angry. I think we've successfully nipped this one in the bud. But it wasn't without a bit of testing on her part to find out where the limits were at. "Bobbin, That was rude. You do NOT stick your tongue out at anyone, do you understand?" was getting the frequent response of "I wasn't, Mommy. I was just licking my lips. See?" until I insisted that she cover her mouth every time she licked her lips. Then she lost interest since she knew I couldn't actually see her tongue, and just glaring at me with her mouth covered when she was angry was not nearly as effective in obtaining my attention.
Ooops (or, "One of those mistakes that is funny at age 3; not funny at age 16 :-))
Posted by Heather on February 4, 2009 at 8:48 PM
Yesterday morning was a bit chaotic. We had slept in a bit later than usual, both Tim and I are coming down with colds, and Bobbin is... well... three and a half. And I had a 9am meeting I couldn't be late for.
So we rushed through breakfast, got dressed, brushed teeth, and ran out the door to school so that I could still make it to work in time for my meeting.
And I did! I did make it. Just in time. And without too much fuss from Bobbin to boot.
So at the end of the day, I picked Bobbin up from school as usual, Tim had dinner pretty much ready, and the three of us sat down to eat. Half way through the meal, Bobbin announced she needed to go potty and jumped down from her chair and ran to the bathroom. All was quiet for about 15 minutes or so. And just when I was starting to wonder if she was doing ok, she came running out into the hallway, skirt and tights around her ankles and this is the conversation that followed:
Bobbin: MOMMY! I CAN'T FIND MY UNDERPANTS! WHERE ARE MY UNDERPANTS! I LOST MY UNDERPANTS! I looked EVERYWHERE! I can't FIND THEM!
That would explain the 15 minutes of silence. She had been looking for her underpants.
Me: (getting up from my chair and peering curiously around the door frame to see what she's talking about) You lost your underpants? How? That can't be. You've still got your tights and skirt on.
Bobbin: I looked EVERYWHERE! Mommy, my underpants are GONE! I NEED MY UNDERPANTS! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY UNDERPANTS?!
Me: (checking the folds of her tights and pants to see if they've somehow got stuck in the wrinkles) Bobbin, You don't have underpants on. What happened to your underpants? Did you take them off? Did you put your tights on all by yourself?! (That would have been a first. Tights are still a bit of a challenge).
Bobbin: (very upset now, on the verge of losing it completely) THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU! I LOST MY UNDERPANTS IN THE BATHROOM MOMMY! COME FIND MY UNDERPANTS! I! NEED! MY! UNDERPAAAAANTS! (pause for breath. Then more quietly) Mommy, I'm scared. What happened to my underpants? Are they stuck in my b*m?
Me(slowly realizing what has happened): Umm... hmm... sweetie, I don't think you lost your underpants. I think we forgot to put them on you this morning.
I started to laugh. She looked at me bizarrely. "I went to school without my underpants?" she asked, unsure of whether to believe me. "I'm afraid so sweetie. I guess we were in too much of a hurry", I replied. She paused, and then replied "THAT'S why my b*m was hurting". The seams on tights can get a bit irritating, I'm sure, when there's nothing there to, um, protect the area. She seemed visibly relieved that this was what was irritating her and that her original conclusion, that somehow her underpants must have disappeared up into her... body... , was incorrect. "That's so SILLY!" she exclaimed. Then she pulled up her tights and skirt and jumped back into her chair.
That's hilarious....actually it reminds me of the time I went to high school and forgot to put my bra on..I folded my arms across my chest all day...and went home at lunchtime to put one on....so embarrassing .... lol.
The Dog Park is Dexter and Zeppelin's favourite place to go. If they don't go each day, they sulk around the house. They're kind of snobby when they do go. They don't really want to play with other dogs, they just sort of want to show off how much fun they're having with each other and make the other dogs jealous.
As Bobbin has grown from infant to preschooler, the space we've been living in has slowly grown with her. Counters once occupied by racks of drying bottles are bare. Cupboards that once housed tins of formula now hold real food. Shelf space has been liberated from the stacks of organic baby food jars that they once held. Drawers that were filled with spare binkies, bibs, and nose booger sucker outer thingies (bulb syringes...! That's right. It's been so long I had forgotten what they were called :) are now being used to store much more grownup stuff like batteries and screws and boxes of band aids and travel wipes. The top shelf of the fridge is no longer consumed by pre made bottles and reflux medicines (they taste better cold).
Larger items slowly disappeared too. First it was the highchair replaced by a booster seat on a dining room chair. Then the diaper changing table in her bedroom that was replaced with just a pad on the floor. The stroller disappeared from the trunk of our car. We started getting better mileage.
Diaper wipes and diaper cream were relegated to a back shelf in the bathroom as things of the past, no longer necessary. Then the changing pad on the floor was replaced with a toddler potty in the bathroom. Then the booster seat was replaced with a pillow. Then the crib was replaced with a big girl bed. I no longer had to hold my breath and strain my back to kiss her good night while she was sleeping. The rocking chair and ottoman gave way to a child's desk and chair for doing art which takes up less space and doesn't mark up the walls. The pillow on the dining room chair went away. Even bookshelves regained space as thick, bulky board books were slowly replaced by big girl books with thin, paper pages. Some of the favourites (hers and mine :) do remain and continue to be cherished though :)
Now the last vestiges of her toddler years have disappeared as well. The bulky tricycle has been replaced by a sleek big girl bike. We retired the toddler potty to the basement. Bobbin now uses only the real toilet. The two step stool up to the sink in her bathroom have been replaced by a single step stool, taking up less space. She's that much taller now. And this weekend we finally retired her bed rails from her big girl bed, so she sleeps in her big girl bed now just like... a big girl.
All these changes have been at times of her choosing. The big ones have been exciting. The small ones have been gradual, not really making a mark until you notice that they haven't been there for a while.
Here's Bobbin celebrating her latest milestone by dancing around in the space of her newly rearranged room (we decided just to be safe, to put one side of her bed against the wall. In doing so we opened up a lot more floor space, which is perfect for holding grand balls and dance recitals. Tickets available at the door but I warn you, the shows sell out fast).
Three activities that are super cheap and tonnes of fun that I thought I'd share. We've had our share of colds, fevers, and snowy weather keeping us indoors and these made for something new and different to do.
1) Make Your Own Photo Jigsaw puzzle: $6.75 for a wooden kit (Melissa & Doug); less than that if you just get a heavyweight laminate. The Melissa & Doug wooden kits are available in Imaginarium toy stores or online at amazon.com. Probably other places too, but those are the two that I've found them.
You don't need a kit to do this; you can just laminate and cut up a 5x7 portrait into 9 or 12 pieces on your own. But the kit is fun and cheap and easy, and more durable, and they feel more like a storebought puzzle, which makes it a novelty for the kiddo. Although heavy Duty laminating sheets will actually last a while.There are also special 4x6 photo laminating sheets are pretty cheap and you can get up to 50 sheets for less than $5 depending where you shop. It's perfect for those school photos. Bobbin loved both making the puzzle itself as well as putting it together over and over and over again. Because if there are some things 3 and 4 year olds love it's:
Showing off their counting skills
Showing off their number recognition skills
Showing off their matching skills
Putting together puzzles
Dumping all the pieces of a puzzle out on the floor
Looking at pictures of themselves and talking about how beautiful they are :)
And this activity has it all! Bobbin hasn't quite mastered her skills at cutting on a line so I did that part. Older kids will be able to cut the pieces out themselves by cutting along the lines. But I had her match up the number on the back of the picture with the number on the puzzle piece, and hand them to me, I applied the picture piece to the puzzle piece and then she would put it in the puzzle frame. It's now one of her favourite puzzles.
2) Face painting $3.00 to $6.00 depending on the quantity of colours and the quality of the face paint, and it will last for a long time so you'll get multiple uses out of it. Or if you've got a bunch of old lipsticks and eyeliners that you're willing to sacrifice, don't bother buying anything at all! You can also probably find a recipe for making your own at home. Crayon form is easiest for kids to master and the least likely to make a mess elsewhere. Give them a hand mirror and let them go to town on their own face and yours. Why the heck not? When was the last time you had rainbows on your cheeks? Most stuff you buy will wash off with regular soap and warm water without much rubbing or effort, or Wet Wipes and won't stain fabric. Works well for play dates too. Just ask Squeaky Zee :)
3) Stained Glass Windows. For this you need two sheets of 8 1/2 x 11" construction paper, several sheets of various colours of tissue paper or celophane, and a roll of clear transparent contact paper (the kind with the grid on the back works great) or adhesive laminating sheets. And I have to admit that the idea for this particular project was not mine; I got it from Bobbin's preschool.
You or your kiddos can cut the tissue paper or cellophane into small pieces. Can be squares or random shapes. Just snip away. Kids who are learning to cut with scissors will like doing this part. Put them in a bowl and mix them up.
Take the two sheets of construction paper and fold them in half, cut out a large, simple shape in the middle (a simple tree or star for christmas; egg for easter; heart for valentines day; etc). Set one aside. These are your window frames.
Cut two pieces of contact paper slightly larger than the construction paper (eg so that it provides a 1/4 to 1/2" border) . Apply one to one of the construction paper window frames. Set the other aside.
Press the pieces of tissue paper or cellophane onto the sticky side of the contact paper that is accessible through the shape in the window frame. Cover the entire space until nothing clear is left. Shake off any excess.
Take the other construction paper frame that you set aside and apply it on top of the first to hide the edges of the tissue paper. Then take the contact paper that you set aside and apply it to the finished project. Tape it to a window and let the sun shine in!
Sitting at the dinner table this evening, this is the conversation.
Bobbin:(makes a kind of grimace as she wiggles in her chair) Tim: Honey, what are you doin'? Bobbin: (loudly) I'm gonna fart so you better watch out cause its gonna be stinky! Me: (unsuccessfully stifling laughter) That's great, and thanks for the warning honey. Next time, if you think you're going to fart you can always go to the bathroom, or if you're going to fart quietly you can just do it and say excuse me afterwards [yeah, ok, so not the best advice either. But I was in hysterics and not thinking straight :)] Bobbin:(still loudly, and standing tall on her knees on the chair) I can do it loud AND quiet whenever I want!
That's a talent she inherited from her father, I think.
Yesterday evening as we were settling into the big chair getting ready to read a book, I caught a whiff of something...pungent, and leaned over to Tim and asked "Hey, did you 'F' 'A' 'R' 'T'?" taking great care to spell the word out. But before he could reply Bobbin piped up with a "No, I did!"
Not to toot our own horn (pun fully intended), but Bobbin may have inherited her sphincter control from our side of the family. Now you just need to teach her how to blame it on Tommy. Or one of the cats...it's even funnier when you blame it on a cat.
I gave her a piece of styrofoam to throw into the garbage in the kitchen. It was left over from having just packed up all the Christmas decorations. She likes helping, and takes it into the kitchen. 10 minutes later, after what felt like hours of silence, I went into the kitchen. She's sitting on the kitchen floor breaking off little pieces of foam and scattering them on the floor. "What are you doing?" I ask. "Feeding the ducks" she replies.
The League of Princesses holds their first Ball of 2009
Posted by Heather on January 11, 2009 at 8:53 AM
Unfortunately Princess Zed left before the ball really got into full swing. Something about a pumpkin and the other shoe dropping. But Princess Bobbin and Princess E had a grand time of it, stopping several times for costume and crown changes. Because as everyone knows, you can't wear the same ensemble for more than 15 minutes at a time when you're royalty. The paparazzi like variety.
More photos of their Royal Highnesses here. It's worth mentioning that the album they're dancing to is the Partridge Family Greatest Hits.
This has become a new fascination for Bobbin in the last two months. She's drawn to plots with sinister antagonists and battles between good vs evil. We're talking good vs evil at a preschooler level, of course. Although she does continue to be curious about more grown up, real world examples of good vs evil. Which is why we listen mostly to music on the way to school, and not NPR :)
Past favourites have included Cinderella and 101 Dalmations. Goldilocks and the Three Bears was interesting from multiple angles. Not so much because she thought the bears were mean; she knew they were not. But because Goldilocks had clearly defied her mother and had absolutely no manners to speak of, let alone a sense of personal safety.
Her latest fascinations are also classics:
Sleeping Beauty (my verbal rendition of the original as I remember it, and Disney's movie version)
Hansel and Gretel, retold and illustrated by James Marshall although she also has a version retold by Rika Lesser and illustrated by Paul O. Zelinsky who has done another book we've recently added to our library. See below. I like his pictures.).
The latter three and Goldilocks are the James Marshall versions, , about whom I've written about previously. They stay true to the original story (not "disneyfied") while softening some of the more macabre elements with a touch of wry humour that adults and kids alike can enjoy.
Stories in which characters are eaten by other characters provide a level of fascination to Bobbin. Stories involving evil stepmothers and stepsisters likewise are usually hits. Stories that have evil fairies and witches are good ones as well.
Because I have heard many of these over and over and over again (from my own childhood as well as in the present) and although Bobbin is content with rereading the same material every night, I as the one reading these stories aloud on a daily basis, often multiple times per day, feel the need to mix it up a little bit more often.
Fairytale anthologies are not popular with her yet, because she likes to read the story cover to cover. Chapter books likewise are not something she's ready for yet. I expect though, by the end of this calendar year she'll start getting more enjoyment out of both and we'll be able to draw upon these for bedtime stories too.
But it's really really hard to find any classic single story fairytale picture books that do not feature a Disney Princess on the cover, and that have a sufficient balance between words and pictures to keep their interest. Too few words or two few pictures and Bobbin loses interest. Too many words and the same happens. A good fairytale picture book needs ample amounts of both. Vivid pictures that still leave much to the imagination and descriptive, creative language with new words that she can add to her ever expanding vocabulary and that creates interest and allows her to form pictures in her mind. Dialogue is also important because she likes using the same phrases to act out the characters when she pretend plays.
But I have happened across a few picture books that meet these specifications and that have become instant hits. Recent additions to our library have included a mix of classic fairytales and new stories:
Just a Dream, Story and Pictures by Chris Van Allsburg
You may recognize the author and illustrator's name from the last three. Chris Van Allsburg wrote and illustrated The Polar Express (yes, the movie was based on a book :)) as well as Zathura (yes, that movie was also based on a book :)). He does absolutely beautiful illustrations and his stories are imaginative and contain happy endings although there are interesting characters that aren't always what they seem and that blur the line a bit between good and evil. I love them.
Bobbin has yet to let me finish The Little Matchstick Girl. She's afraid to get to the end because I told her that it's a bit sad at the end and the story always made me cry when I was a little girl. It's true. And I want her to know what she's getting into. So we've only made it to the fourth match so far. The rest though have been very eagerly received and reread.
I am still seeking non disneyfied picture book versions of Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, and Rapunzel, to name a few. She knows the story of Sleeping Beauty because I've told it to her verbally and she's seen the movie (and has already called attention to several descrepancies between my version and Disney's. Yet she continues to want to see and hear both :)). She knows the Disney version of the story The Little Mermaid. The original tale has a tragic ending that I think she'd actually find more interesting. Rapunzel would be a new one to her and it's been so long for me that I need to reread the story myself, and it is one of the few that is not in one of the many fairytale anthologies that I've kept from my own childhood. As I wrote this entry I discovered that Paul O. Zelinsky did a a version of Rapunzel so I think that will be my next online purchase :)
The picture book version of Cinderella she has is an old storybook of mine that was passed on to my sister (who wrote her name in it :)) and is now Bobbin's. It's retold by Evelyn Andreas with illustrations by Ruth Ives, originally published in 1954 by Grosset & Dunlap (no, I'm not that old. I have the 1974 printing :). It's true to the original and has in my opinion far more beautiful illustrations than any Cinderella book you can find today, including the Disney version.
Borders has an actual "Fairytale" section in their picture books, but it is mostly filled with Disney crap (don't get me wrong; I love their original movies and we have many of them but I don't like all the princess swag and "add on" stories they publish) and Sparkley books that feature Dragons and Fairies on the cover and in the pictures but lack any substantial story. Barnes and Nobles just sticks their fairytales on the shelf with all the other picture books, making them hard to find unless you know the author of the book you want. And don't bother looking under "Grimm" or "Andersen", because the author they're listed under will be the one who "retold" the book, not the original author of the book. And so I have spent many an hour at the book stores browsing shelves only to come up emptyhanded except for the few mentioned above. Next stop for me will be the independents and online. Although I much prefer to do my book shopping in person :).
At the library I've found a number of good stand-alone stories under the "folktales" and "myths" sections, including many that are international stories. No Disney characters there!
This year she had a shy smile for Santa. She also had an actual conversation with him, and told him that she wanted him to bring her a big girl bicycle and baby doll diapers and puzzles.
For additional context: This is right before she came down with a fever and croupy cough. She already wasn't feeling well, but we had promised her we'd take her to see Santa on Monday and she wasn't going to let anything stop her from meeting the Big Guy.
I've been remiss in posting for this month so far, but we have been up to stuff! Check out our December photo album for the latest.
Bobbin's orange stuffed kitty that she's had since she was a baby, has been missing. For about a week. I haven't been able to find it anywhere. I've come up with all kinds of excuses for where kitty might be to stall for time. My most recent was that she was at work helping me.
So of course, Bobbin started demanding that I bring kitty home. And I kept pretending that I forgot. Well, that excuse stopped flying last night and she asked yet again why kitty didn't come home with me. So instead of lamely repeating the "I forgot" excuse I said "well, actually, I asked kitty if she wanted to come home and she said that she was having so much fun with Mommy's computer she asked if she could stay again".
Bobbin stared at me, and after a few seconds, yelled out "BUT KITTY CAN'T TALK!" and then proceeded to stomp her feet and demand that I go back to work "RIGHT NOW" to get kitty.
I successfully distracted her. I don't know how. And thankfully this morning discovered kitty lying underneath a doll blanket in the corner of her room. She'd been there the entire time.
Has she spotted any of Santa's spy elves yet? I think the one that used to watch me was called Blinkie. Or maybe Winkie. It was in one of the letters the big guy left for me in exchange for Vixen's parsnip.
Posted by Heather on November 27, 2008 at 10:51 PM
We were eating dinner the other night and Bobbin excused herself to go potty. About 10 minutes later she came running back into the dining room sans pants and undies.
"Mommy! Mommy!" she exclaimed anxiously. Before she could elaborate with what I was sure would be information best not shared at the dinner table, I responded with "Hey kiddo, do you need some help?"
"NO! I DON'T NEED HELP! I NEED PANTS!" she shouted angrily, and then ran stomping back into her bedroom and slammed her door.
And for those of you celebrating it, Happy Turkey Day today! Photo courtesy of Tim :-)
Today I went to a football game. I cheered! I jumped up and down and fell on the cement but Bobbin always picked me up. I wore a jersey. I ate a hotdog for lunch. I saw airplanes. Blitz is the mascot.
Go Seahawks Go!
I really wanted to go down there to the field, but it was foggy.
And here are the photos we included in the journal:
We have a guest staying with us this weekend. He's a bit of a bear. Oh, it's ok. He won't see this. He can't use a computer, let alone read. His name is "H" and he is the school's class teddy bear. Every student in the class gets to take "H" home for the weekend. This weekend is Bobbin's turn. "H" comes with his own journal where "he" writes about what he saw and did that weekend. Here was his entry for today, as dictated verbatim by Bobbin:
November 15, 2008
This morning after breakfast Bobbin took me to soccer. I played with some new friends like "Z". "Z" is a little boy in Bobbin's soccer class. I had lots of fun even though I fell down. I liked the squishy balls. After soccer I went to McDonald's with Bobbin. I had chicken nuggets and a chocolate chip cookie. Then we went to the painting store. I painted chocolate chip cookies and I went potty all by myself. Then we went to play in the play area with all kinds of instruments. Then I lied down and took a rest. After dinner tonight Bobbin said we would have ice cream.
I told Bobbin that because "H" can't talk, she needed to tell me what words to use in his journal to explain what he did today. The above was the result. I did have to prompt a bit with questions. And despite what his journal says, neither "H" nor Bobbin consumed a chocolate chip cookie at any point today. Nor did either of them paint chocolate chip cookies at the painting store. They painted something else entirely. And "H" actually spent most of soccer on the sidelines. He did lose his pants at one point, but he didn't fall. However this was her project, so I just wrote what she dictated :-) Although I did choose to omit how "'H' did hit at soccer, and that's not ok. And sometimes he bites. And he bited at soccer and I said 'no' and then he got a time out and then he was sorry and then he KICKED the ball so high it bumped down on his head and he got really really hurt and the ambulance came to take him to the doctor".
Here are the photos that we'll stick onto the journal entry for today:
Tomorrow is Football. I can't find the tiny Seahawks jersey that Bobbin had for one of her Build-A-Bear teddy bears, which got Bobbin all distraught. So today at the QFC I found a nice $2.99 beer cozy shaped like a Seahawks Jersey that should do nicely. Bobbin doesn't know what it really is. And that's ok :-). Stay tuned for photos from the game!
Halloween wasn't even over yet when the stores started decorating for Christmas. Bobbin's been pretty consistent in what she wants Santa to bring her.
1. New diapers for her baby dolls (the old ones' sticky tape is all worn out)
2. A Brand New Big Girl Bike with butterflies on it
The first is something she's been asking for since March. I kid you not. The second one started about 2 months ago, but has been a daily topic of conversation. Bobbin wants a Big Girl Bike. Ever since she tried out a little 10-inch real, honest-to-goodness big kid bike complete with bicycle chain and brakes (as opposed to the "fake" ones that just have the pedals mounted on the front wheel like a tricycle) she's been asking for a Big Girl Bike. There's a tradition in both my family and Tim's of Santa bringing bicycles for Christmas. I explained to Bobbin that Santa was an expert bicycle maker; he had an entire wing of his toy factory dedicated to bicycle building.
She's been pretty adamant about the butterflies on the bike too. But I have a feeling Santa's gonna come through. He has a way of doing that :-)
We've been watching a lot of Bambi lately. A LOT. Almost every day. I think Bobbin's trying to sort through the complex concepts of violence, death, and loss and the way she's trying to do this is by watching the movie over and over and over and over again, and processing the information in her head. And asking a lot of questions.
Question 1: Why are the deer running; who's coming?
Answer: The deer are running because they are afraid of the hunters.
Question 2: What are the hunters; are they (pointing to the animated images of crows on the TV) the hunters?
Answer: The hunters are people. They are in the forest. They are chasing the deer. They make a lot of loud noises and it scares the animals.
Question 3: Where did Bambi's Mommy go?
Answer: Well, Bambi's Mommy was really worried about Bambi because he's so young. She wanted to make sure he ran away and hid somewhere safe. So she stayed behind in the meadow to make sure he escaped. And now she's gone. She died, honey.
Question 4: How did she died?
Answer: Well, I think she got really badly hurt from the hunter's guns. So hurt that she couldn't get up anymore. So hurt that a doctor couldn't have helped her. And when someone gets so hurt that they can't be made better, sometimes they die. But Bambi will always remember his Mommy, and remember how much she loved him. And his Mommy will watch over him even though she's not with him anymore.
Question 5: Why are the mean dogs chasing Feline?
Answer: Those are the hunters' dogs. The hunters trained them to be able to find other animals. The dogs work for the hunters. They find the animals the hunters are looking for and then they keep them there until the hunters can get there.
Question 6: What happened to Bambi? How he got hurt?
Answer: Well, Bambi was running to get away from the hunters, and when he went to jump across the canyon the hunters saw him, and they shot their gun, and the bullet hit his leg and he got really really hurt.
Question 7: Why the hunters hurt Bambi? Why the hunters have guns?
Answer: Well, sometimes people have to hunt for their food. That's how they live. They have to find food in the forest. Hunters find food. that's how they're able to feed their families and live. That doesn't make them bad. It's what they need to do. Some people don't hunt for food. They hunt for other reasons. I don't think that's ok. I would never do that. Neither would Daddy. we don't need to hunt for our food. We can get our food from farms and gardens and grocery stores. And Guns are very very very very dangerous. We don't touch guns. Guns are really really dangerous. They can hurt you so bad that you might not get better.
Question 8: And then you could die?
Answer: Yes, you could.
Ok. So she's processing all of that, and I think she's getting it. But I didn't realize that there was one slight little problem. There's a boy in her class named Hunter. You know where I'm going, don't you... Well, thankfully I don't think she's had any sort of conversation or confrontation with him about why he killed Bambi's mother. But it has been on her mind, because when I picked her up from school, I asked her who the little boy was that said goodbye to her and gave her a kiss and a hug, and she replied "Hunter" (whom I had met when I first started taking her to school; but had forgotten his name). And then she said "But he's not mean like the pretend hunters in Bambi".
So we had a conversation about how her friend's name is Hunter, but that the hunters in Bambi were actually called hunters because what they do is hunt. They hunt, so they are hunters. That's different than having the name "Hunter". I don't know if I needed to bother, but I did know that I didn't want to take the chance that I'd get some weird note from school about how Bobbin was accusing one of her classmates of killing deer and starting forest fires. It still may happen, but at least I'll have seen it coming and will be able to explain why :-)
The other movie we've been watching is 101 Dalmations. Yes, another lovely tale of cruelty to animals. All implied, never seen, much like Bambi. But that's all that is needed to get a 3-year-old's mind turning. Thankfully she has not yet pieced together what it is that Cruella deVille is planning on doing with the puppies. She is however, fascinated by her meanness. She looks mean, she sounds mean, and she steals puppies. Evil incarnate already, even without knowing her intent for those puppies. But even that is not the primary focus of Bobbin's fascination with Cruella. No, what really has captured Bobbin's attention are the cigarettes that Cruella smokes. "Why she's putting fire in her mouth?" Bobbin asks. She asks this of real people she observes smoking as well.
So far my answer has been this: She's smoking a cigarette. Cigarettes are really yucky and very very dangerous. Cigarettes can make you very very sick. They can make it so your body can't breathe, and you cough all the time, and you can even get so sick you have to go to the hospital and stay there for a long long time. and sometimes you can get so sick you can't get better.
To which, of course, she asks " And then you can die?"
To which of course I anaswer "Yes, yes you could".
This lesson too, appears to be sinking in well. Whenever Bobbin sees a cigarette butt on the sidewalk or street she stops, points at it and yells "OOOH YUCKY YUCKY! THAT's BAD! SO YUCKY! ICK! YUCK! PTOOEEEY! THAT CAN MAKE YOU SICK!"
Neither Tim nor I smoke. Tim used to but quit before we got married. I've never so much as tried it. At all. But of course, we do know people who do smoke. Some of whom are very close to us. And so Bobbin's still trying to process why someone would willingly do something that was so bad for them that it could make them so sick they would die. And, well, that's a tough one. My answer there is that he or she has been smoking for a very long time, and they know it is bad and not healthy and could make them sick, but sometimes it can be very very hard to stop doing something even when you know it is bad for you and can make you sick. And what we should do is let those people know that we really love them, and we want them to stop smoking, because we don't want them to get sick. And maybe if they know that it will help them to stop doing it".
So at this point I can say that we've done the three-year-old version of
the Sex talk (Babies come from Mommies' tummies. When a mommy and daddy decide they want to have a baby, then the baby grows in mommy's tummy and then when it's big enough they go to the hospital and the baby is born)
the smoking talk
the drinking talk (Tim and I enjoy wine at dinner and so we've had the conversation about how that is just for grownups, and even then grownups should only drink a little bit, because too much can make your body sick, just like too much medicine or too much of anything can make your body sick),
It is 7:39pm. Bobbin has been in bed for 30 minutes. I kid you not.
She's had a pretty hectic weekend. Up at 6:30am yesterday. Soccer at 9:40am. Then to Target to buy birthday presents - we had two parties this weekend. Then home where she played outside on her swings in the rain, followed by a rousing game of soccer with me that ended with her slipping in a puddle and getting covered with mud from head to foot. Even her underpants were muddy. After that was Birthday Party #1 at friend L's house. L turned 2 (Happy B-day, L!). Bobbin played non-stop until about 5pm when she practically collapsed on their living room floor in a heap of exhaustion. Good humoured exhaustion, but exhaustion nontheless. She was in bed by 7:30pm last night and awake at 7am this morning.
After chowing down on six mini-pancakes, scrambled eggs with cheese, a plum, some melon, and a yogurt smoothie we decided to hit the park. We must have walked about a mile and a half together all told, half of which she ran. Fed the ducks. Chased the roosters. Went to lunch. 2 hours in the end. And when I realized that birthday party #2 started at 1pm and not 3pm as I had thought, we raced back to the car and went straight to Grandma's house for cousin S's party. Tim met us there, party dress and presents in hand. She played outside and inside and outside again. I noticed the treads were falling off her shoes at this point so after the party we headed straight to the mall for a new pair of running shoes and some "hiking boots" (kind of all-weather sturdy boots that should fare better on her school playground). By 5:00pm we were home, and 5:30 we were finished dinner. Bobbin announced her readiness for a bath at 5:50 and she played in there for 40 minutes. By 6:45 she was in her jammies, and by 7:10 we were finished the two books she had selected and she announced her desire to go to bed.
She's been completely silent since I tucked her in, no doubt falling asleep minutes after her head hit the pillow.
And so here I am, 7:39pm, oddly... free... I'm sure I'll come up with something to do :-) It is a strange feeling though!
Bobbin's class has been learning about elections all week. Not the yucky politics. Just the basics. Like this, which are the answers I got when I asked her what she learned at school yesterday and today
Our country is called the United States of America
It has 50 states
We live in Washington State
The 50 stars on the flag represent the 50 states. Each state gets a star
In the United States we elect a President.
America has a National Song. An America Song. It's the same song we sing at football games
And today, she came home and taught me something I did NOT know, in my 15 years living here, simply because I've never had to repeat it. The Pledge of Allegiance:
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation under God, indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for all."
Only when she says it it goes more like this:
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and Stand, under God, invisible for all"
Which wasn't entirely inappropriate, given the last 8 years :-)
I'll stick with the official version though when I apply for citizenship. Probably wiser :-)
Easy to fix.
When I told her that Barack Obama had one the election she said, and I kid you not, "Barack Obama? I like him. I want to go meet him and talk to him"
About what, I wondered. That could be a good conversation...
But I responded with, "Well, He'll be moving into the White House soon. Maybe we can take a trip to see the White House". And then she asked "I want to see this white house. Where is his white home he lives in?" and then I explained that it was in the Other Washington, Washington DC. To which she replied "Near Aunt Sarah" (who, with Mike, just moved back to Canada from Quantico. The kid's got a memory in her).
Interesting fact: the "under God" bit wasn't added until 1954, during the "red scare". Ironic, since the pledge itself was originally written by an avid Socialist.
Bobbin is learning about "voting" in preschool. They've been voting on favourite foods and colours. I asked her if she knew what tomorrow was. After insisting that tomorrow was "pajama day" at school (it's not), I reminded her that tomorrow is election day, when all the people in the United States get to go and vote to choose the next President.
I reminded her of the names of the two main Presidential Candidates this year and asked her who she would vote for. Her response: "ME!" Fair enough. So that led to the following conversation. And these are direct quotes because I grabbed a pen and paper and took notes when I realized she was actually answering my questions :-)
Me: Well, interesting. I might consider voting for you too but I need to know a bit more about you. As President, what would be the first thing you do for the country?
Bobbin: I would give everyone a sticker.
Me: That's a pretty good start. Everyone likes stickers. Is there anything else you would want to do for the country in your first term as President?
Bobbin: Put merry-go-rounds everywhere
Me: That's a very interesting idea. Now, as President of the United States, where do you stand on education? Are there specific policies you'd want to implement for schools?
Bobbin: (pausing to think) Yes. No hitting. No biting. No pushing.
Me: Reinforcing the fundamentals. That's a good start. Now, let's talk about your foreign policy. As President of the United States would you travel the world to make new friends?
Bobbin:(enthusiastically) I would GO TO AFRICA!
(Bobbin knows "Africa", "Australia", "Antarctica", "China", "Canada" and "America")
Me: There is a lot going on in Africa, definitely.
Bobbin: Mommy, I'm all done now. I'm eating my meatballs.
And so ended Bobbin's first round of interviews in her presidential bid. Nothing like getting a head start on the competition. From her current positions and priorities it seems she has an Independent streak but we'll have to see how the Mainstream Media casts her.
I think Bobbin's ideas are wonderful! I'd vote for merry-go-rounds everywhere.
On a more serious note, we have been exposed to a lot of American TV here in Trinidad and I was VERY happy that Obama won. I felt that the other side was extremely narrow-minded in some of its ads and it was getting to the point where the ads were getting scary.
You are definitely experiencing a true defining moment in your history.
Bobbin's favourite question as I'm putting her to bed at night is "Momma, what we gonna do after dis sleep?". Of course, if it's a school night, the answer is "School" but we already know about all the cool things happening at school all day for the whole week, thanks to her teacher's regularly weekly emails that list out the full week's lesson plan. Have I mentioned how much I love this new school? So we're able to get jazzed about all the fun things she's going to do at school, which eliminates (most times) the protests of going to school. And now, when we get there, she runs full speed down the walkway ahead of me, to go find her friends and start playing. I had to ask for a kiss and a hug and no sooner than it was issued, she was back with her friends, back turned to me.
VICTORY!!!! She turned and glanced back as I was leaving, but I had put my arms back down and wiped the look of scary happiness off my face and just smied, waved, and called "I love you sweetie! See you after school!"
Tim went to pick her up and she didn't want to leave.
I'd say we're over the transition badness.
12 hours of sleep last night - she slept from 7:40 - 7:30. Would have slept longer had I not awakened her. She was happy when she got up though. No protests
She's been coming home with this knowledge and these ideas /that have not come from Tim or I. I know a lot of songs, but I had not heard "Doggy Doggy where's your bone? Someone took it from your home! Guess who? It might be me or you or you!" or how about
There are Seven Days
There are Seven Days
There are Seven Days in the week
Sunday Monday
Tuesday Wednesday
Thursday Friday
Saturday
Ah yes, and there is also
Pumpkin, pumpkin, I've been thinking
You're the finest one I've seen
Soon to be a jack-o-lantern
All lit up for Halloween
And she's recognizing numbers - the number 4 in particular (there have been several recent birthdays in the class of kids who are turning 4). And there must be someone in her new class who likes Batman because she's been into watching superhero movies, and pretending she's batgirl on her swing and calling me BatMommy ,and Tim BatDaddy. It's pretty comical.
I'm barely making it through my exercise goals. Haven't failed, but just squeaking by. And it's just been a generally rough 3 weeks or so, but I think I'm getting back on track. Looking forward to taking some copious time off in December.
Bobbin had a bad dream last night. I don't remember what time it happened, but at some point I dragged my pillow and blanket into her room and slept with her for the rest of the night. We woke up at 7:50am.
She woke up happy. She didn't argue. She didn't feign illness. She didn't resist going to school. She ate her breakfast. She got dressed. She left the house happy. I was so intent on capitalizing on this positive mood that I forgot my laptop and cell phone as I ushered her out the door and to the car. Tim brought them to me later at work :-)
We got to school and she didn't complain. She ran out to the playground. She enthusiastically hugged her friend who was waiting for her. And they ran off to play.
I stuck around for a couple of minutes. When it was time to say goodbye, she didn't cry. She hugged me and kissed me, and then ran off happily to continue playing with her friend.
It was glorious!
This evening, there were no protests when I announced it was jammy time. She went potty and washed her hands without me asking. She even brushed her teeth without my help and nagging. By 7:20 she was ready for her bedtime stories. I let her pick out 5 books, because she had been so fast and hadn't put up an argument. We got through two before she insisted she was "so very tired" that she needed to go to bed. I walked her to her bedroom, tucked her in, humoured her for 5 minutes as she insisted on a drink of water, one more hug and kiss, and one more hug and kiss after that. She tried to get me to stay but I told her I was going to exercise, and she laid there quietly, listening to her music, and apparently dropped right off to sleep.
I read somewhere online this morning that mercury is currently in retrograde. Apparently that usually causes chaos and destruction (if you subscribe to that stuff). However it seems to have had the opposite effect on our household. Or maybe, possibly, dare I suggest, that we're starting to come out of the "thrashing threes".
The induction ceremony began Friday evening and lasted well into the later evening.
First there was The Dressing, which also required some Pre-Dressing enticement. Promises of poofiness and twirliness like non she had ever witnessed or felt before. Her parents said it couldn't be done. But they've never met professionals like these before. Hook, line, and sinker .Within 10 minutes, they had her Pretty in Pink and demanding (well, politely requesting, but they'll work with her on that tone of voice during inductee training) to be danced with and spun.
This was followed by the actual Induction Ceremony. It's highly secret. You can tell they're keeping it that way. The question no one in history could ever answer is whether the league exists for good or evil. You can't really tell that here either, can you. But they're up to something. And Halloween is just right around the corner...
Bobbin, of her own accord, has taken a keen interest in punctuation.
Yes, punctuation. The periods, questions marks, and exclamation points that mark the end of a sentence. As we were reading a few days ago, on the potty of course (it's where we do our best "reading"), every time we came to the end of a sentence she would point to the punctuation and ask "That's not a letter. What is that letter?"
So we've launched into learning about punctuations. I've zeroed in on Exclamation Points, or "Exciting Point" as Bobbin likes to call them, and Question Marks, or "Curiosity Mark" in Bobbin-lingo. She came up with both terms completely on her own after hearing the explanations for what they do and why we need 'em.
So now when we read books I ask her what the punctuation is at the end of the sentence, and she'll say "Exciting Point!" and I'll say "So I need to sound REALLY EXCITED when I read it then right?" and she'll nod, and then I'll read "HOORAY! HOORAY! We're On our WAY! Our Summer Vacation STARTS TODAY!" with over-the-top excitement. It makes her giggle. And then when I get a question, I go over the top up at the end of my sentence (easy for me and my natural Canadian up speak heritage?) and she giggles more.
Today she pointed to the period and said "I don't know what that dot is. What is that dot, Momma?" I told her it's a period. "A period", she repeated. I said it was so you could tell when the sentence ended. And so ended the lesson on the period. Not one of the more interesting punctuations. When she starts to read my writing, she'll no doubt become overly familiar with the comma. Ah well. We're a ways from that.
Bobbin's been perfecting her own writing lately. She has been able to recognize all the uppercase ABC's by sight for a while now, and has added a number of lower case letters to her recognition skills recently. But she has just last week mastered the letter "R" . Each time she does it, it gets smaller and smaller. We started out writing big "R"s on the chalkboard. Then graduated to large paper, then smaller paper, then smaller letters on the paper. We have a birthday card envelope that is now completely covered in "R"s of varying sizes and directions. I need to get it framed.
In addition to "R", Bobbin has also previously mastered the letters H, O, T and is working on D, B, P (all variants of "R" in terms of stroke, that I thought I would introduce her to writing, given her mastery of probably the more complicated of the four). She's also got C and L partially covered. But one of her favourite letter games recently is to see an M in a book and turn it upside down and magically turn it into a W (or vice versa). This is fascinating to her.
Now that we've got rhymes mastered, the rhyme game usually peters out a bit faster ending in a wash of rhymes of the form
Word / KaBurd; which rhymes with absurd, which is where it degenerates to from there, although both of us are usually giggling sillily.
so our new game is the alphabet sound game. We started it tonight. Bobbin was totally enthused at this idea, as I knew she would be. The game goes like this:
1) Go down to the basement and find that big Easter basket you've always been wanting to play with but that I kept saying how it had to stay down in the basement. You can go by yourself if you want while I clear the table; I'll just turn on the lights for you. Bring it back up when you've found it and close the gate.
FREE pass ALONE to the basement. She was all over that.
2) Ok, now at school you're learning about what letter? That's right, the letter "C". And what sound does the letter "C" usually make in a word? That's right, it makes a "k" sound. So the game is that we have to go all over the house with this basket looking for things that start with a "k" sound.
We then spent 15 minutes coming up with words that start with a "k" sound. We were focusing on the hard C; not the soft C or the CH words. Although we did find a couple of those. And then off we went on our treasure hunt, shouting "K K K K K K" as we marched around the house. It was good for about 20 minutes of seeking and finding. We came back with our loot at the end of the game, and went to the living room to show it all to Tim. Bobbin pulled each item out of the basket and explained how it was a C word.
In the end we had
Camera
Clock - from her doll house
Cookies and Coffee in Cups on a tray - from her doll house
Crayons
Colouring book
The Cat in the Hat Book, because of the prominent use of the letter C throughout the story.
Cat (toy stuffed kitty)
Crown
Clapper (the plastic hand-shaped clapper noisemaker you get at sports games)
Can of Cocoa
Curious George book
Candle
Car
cone (sans ice cream)
carrot
When we'd find things that she loved that didn't start with C she immediately suggested that tomorrow would be the letter day for that word and we could collect it up with other things that start with the same letter. So I see this being a popular game.
Now she can she start learning about the proper use of "eh", as both interrogative and exclamation. She won't be allowed to get her Canadian passport until she does, eh?
Today was a good day. Well, it was a good day after I dropped her off at school. It was a good day when we first got up. It was not so good between the time I made her breakfast and informed her today was a school day in response to her "what we gonna do today?" question that she asks every morning, and the time I actually managed to get her belted into the car for the ride to school.
BUT... once there, there weren't too many tears when we said goodbye. I had a good conversation 1:1 with the director before leaving to learn more about what Bobbin's doing when I'm not there and it was positive and insightful. She's doing great, bottom line. She's not so keen on making new friends. We think she might think that by doing so she'd be disloyal to her old friends. Oh man, if there's one thing that I CANNOT relate to its the concept of disloyalty to old friends. I didn't make friends easily as a kid either, but I always had a few where ever we lived. it would have been ten times worse, moving around as frequently as I did, if I maintained some sense of loyalty to my old friends that dictated that I couldn't make new ones. But I digress. I guess she's polite and not aggressive; she just shuns any attempts to get her to play with them. Although there are two little girls whose names she mentions frequently at home with great enthusiasm. She has professed her love about one. And there is a little boy that she has fun with. He's a bit of a troublemaker from what I can tell. Not bad; just likes to push the limits. So we might try and arrange some outside-of-school playdates.
She was great at school - happy, participating, friendly, listening. And there were no meltdowns after school. Or even after Tim got her home. Or even while dinner was cooking. Or even whlie we were eating. Or even while we were playing. Or even while we were getting ready for jammies. Or even while we were being tucked in. It was like the Bobbin that we know and love was BACK, and the little devil that had been possessing her for the last 4 weeks is gone. Knock on wood. We'll see if we can repeat the same tomorrow. Maybe even avoid the morning meltdown.
I have been exercising; made my goal last week with a walk on Saturday, and started off this week with 60 minutes Sunday and again this evening. It's just getting boring to write about, and I imagine even more boring to read about so I haven't been posting it every day. But it's happening!
It's not boring. It's like on of those inspiring sports films movie, where they condense the months and months of hard training scene into a quick montage. You do all the hard work, that's real and necessary and gets results, and I sit in my comfy chair and cheer. Just add an "Eye of the Tiger" soundtrack to the site and you're good to go.
I took Bobbin to soccer today. The new class she's in doesn't "require" parent participation on the field; encourages the kids to go on the field by themselves. Most of us parents though, end up starting out on the field and slowly backing off to the sidelines once things get going :-) And throughout the "game", Robyn and other kids will run back to the sidelines for a quick hug and kiss :-) She's doing really well with this arrangement. It helps that her BFF is in the same class with her. She starts off shy but quickly gets into her groove once all the running and ball kicking starts.
So we're there this morning, and Bobbin is on the field with the other kids, and this mom and her daughter - can't be more than 3 years old - show up a bit late. The mom tells the little girl to go ahead out on the field and the little girl freaks out and begs her mom to come with her. Her mom refuses, and tells her to go out there now. The little girl launches a temper tantrum, crying and screaming and begging not to go. The mom starts shouting "I'm sick and tired of these tantrums". I can relate to the emotion and frustration in her voice; a day of tantrums is really really really rough. And I take antidepressants. Then the mom yells "Get on the field NOW". More crying and screaming. The Mom then says "If you're not going to play soccer, then give me your soccer uniform. It's mine". At this point the hysterics get much louder and I stand aside from where I had been watching Bobbin and turn around and see that the mom has stripped her daughter down naked except for her underpants, right in the middle of the soccer arena - kids and parents and coaches everywhere - and starts marching her down towards the main area in nothing but her undies. The little girl is in tears. I was in tears. I wanted to reach out and hug the little girl. I wanted to keep her warm. I wanted to at least wrap something around her for her to be comfortable. I did nothing. I did not know what I could do or should do. I suck. And felt ashamed and like a horrible human being for witnessing this and doing nothing.
About 5 minutes later the little girl was back, fully clothed, with her father. She was not crying. She was holding her father's hand. I did not see the mother. The father took her out onto the field and she went without crying. He stayed with her a bit as they played. He slowly backed off the field; the same routine the rest of us parents took. For a few seconds she was ok, but then she ran back to her father, who scooped her up and carried her away.
I still feel sick to my stomach. For what I watched and also what I didn't do.
Every mom has those moments. You've been listening to the tantrums and fighting the battle of wills too much and you just want it to stop. And you say or do something you'd never have done in a level headed, logical moment. It's tiring and hard, and draining. So I can see how a person gets there. I've been there. It's once your there and what you decide to do about it that matters. Yelling... I've done it. Threatening the loss of a special treat ("No McDonalds at lunch" or "No movie after dinner"). Yup. Locking myself in my room for some "quiet time". Done it. Carried my daughter out of a public place because she was screaming and throwing food. Yup. Straight to the car and home. But this was extreme. Before I got to the point that I was stripping my daughter down naked in a public place and forcing her to walk through the building while berating her for being a crying baby, I believe I'd get quiet, pick her up, carry her to the car, and just go home. And then later we'd talk about what the issue was with soccer. If Tim was with me and I was feeling that overwhelmed, before I got to that point I'd hand him the reigns and go to the bathroom and have myself a quiet cry. In either case, my daughter wouldn't be forced onto a field she didn't want to be on to play a game she didn't want to play, with a bunch of strangers she didn't know in order to avoid being stripped down to her underpants as punishment.
Probably the same as you, being in total shock over the whole thing. That parent was SO out of line - how very sad. My afterthought is that I would hope that the coaches would address it immediately, if not shortly after the fact. They ultimately have responsibility to make sure their players are safe and their facilities are used for fun and learning. Perhaps a bit of a cop-out but at the same time, a legimate use of their authority in that place and time.
Posted by Debra on October 5, 2008 10:39 AM.
I've been in situations like that, where a parent/grandparent has clearly lost control with a child. In my case, a grandmother was beating her grandson so badly, she was sweating and out of breath. Like you, I froze with tears in my eyes. But my 3-YEAR-OLD daughter had the courage to speak up with her hands on her hips and say, "It's not nice to hit!" And like that, the woman stopped. I hope that if I'm ever in a situation like that again, I will have the courage to act. It's a tough situation.
To see that would bother me at a very deep level too....having also been where you have -at my wits end...If I saw this happen, I would also feel helpless...what could I possibly do for that little girl and her mother to make that moment better? The only thing that comes to mind is to go over with a smile on my face and invite the girl to play.....it may break the tantrum, and give the mom to a second to collect herself.
That moment you felt like you wanted to hug the girl? Compassion. Imagine a world with compassion...
I try to live by the following mantra by Ghandi "Be the change you wish to see in the world". If you want to the situation to be different..BE the difference...BE the person that brings compassion...don't rely on someone else, or think it's someone else's responsiblity...YOU can BE the difference.
So for me, when I get that tugging in my heart like you did... should do something and turn away?...I take a deep breath and get in there and operate from my heart...and if I'm too reluctant to do that, I would send good thoughts their way...we don't know what is wrong with the mom, we don't know her story...but what we can do is wish them all a better future...maybe that doesn't seem like enough but for now, if it's all you can do...having compassion, IS enough.
Bobbin went on her first class field trip today! A momentous occasion, to be sure. The trip was to a local farm, where the kids had fun wandering through a haystack maze, sliding into bales of hay, going on a bumpy hayride, picking pumpkins, and eating popsicles.
Here you can see Bobbin picked out the perfect pumpkin for making a Jack-O-Leen (what she calls a Jack-O-Lantern :-))
She's been singing pumpkin songs all week that she's learned at school, and today was just the icing on the cake for her. She talked non-stop this evening about her "field trip" with "her kids". Some more photos here from the field trip. Yup - both Tim and I attended ;-)
We gave gymnastics a whirl a few weeks back. She gave it a good try. She actually really really loved it. Until I would walk away from her. And then it became a dark, fearful place filled with angst. But when I stayed on the mats the director became a dark, fearful man filled with angst. Director be damned, I did stay on the mats at the beginning of both clases, slowly extracating myself from the class as they rotated, until finally found myself back to the side boards. And in the second class I think we were on the path to fun, and then all the slipping and tripping started. Evidence that suggests, when combined with her eating and sleeping of late, and her larger shoes, she's experiencing her growth spurt.
And so we struck a deal. I praised her for her bravery in trying out something brand new and sticking with it for 2 whole classes. And told her that it was now her choice - did she want to keep doing gymnastics or would she prefer to go back to soccer. There was no hesitation on her part when she responded "I want to go back to soccer. I don't want to go to gymnastics EVER AGAIN".
And so last saturday we went to soccer, and were pleasantly surprised to find Bobbin's BFF in the same class. I figured we'd maybe run into each other but would be in different classes like last time.
Ah, but the only classes that they had for the age 3-4 that were not completely full on Saturdays (our only day), were the Hoppers class. Hoppers are one up from Cottontails, and as such, Hoppers are big enough bunnies that they don't need their mommy and daddy bunnies on the fields with them. We have to wait on the sidelines. This was going over as well as it did in gymnastics, even though she knew the coach, so it was with MUCH relief that BFF and his Dad showed up and in the instant that they ran to each other from opposite ends of the field and embraced and subsequently fell down on each other, I made my escape to the sidelines and got only a passing glance in my direction before she and BFF were off and holding hands and running across the field under coach's instructions. It was a joy to behold.
Tim was with us too, and snapped a bunch more great photos, some of which I've posted here.
Posted by Heather on September 29, 2008 at 10:00 PM
Bobbin loves to rhyme. We play a game that usually goes like this
Me: What rhymes with Hat? Bobbin: Hit the ball with a BAT! Me: What rhymes with flower? Bobbin: Lights need POWER! Me: Right rhymes with sky? Bobbin: Birdies FLY!
But sometimes she likes to make up words. This is how tonight's game went:
Me: What rhymes with door? Bobbin: Door Kabore! Me: What rhymes with kitchen? Bobbin: Kitchen kaBITCHIN!
Of course I errupted into fits of giggles; my daughter said "Bitchin'", and so she knew she had made a funny but wasn't quite sure why. And so then it was all about me trying to come up with words that would make her swear... or at least "kaswear" cause, well, it was funny. for me. :-)
Me: What rhymes with glass? Bobbin: Glass KabASS! Me: What rhymes with phone? Bobbin: Phone KaBONE!
Tee hee. Ok. Ok. I know. I'm her mom. KaBomb. I should show a little maturity. Kaburity.
I can still see the look on Mom's face when you got 4-year-old me to tell the knock knock joke about "Madame" Foot at Sunday dinner...
I think swearing preschoolers is a thing with you. ;-)
Posted by Heather on September 27, 2008 at 9:30 PM
Today Bobbin consumed
For breakfast
- 2 servings of oranges
- 8 whole wheat mini-waffles
- 4oz of pure watermelon juice
After Soccer
- 8oz of water
For Lunch
- a pizza hut personal pan pizza - all 4 pieces
- 2 hot dogs (minus the buns)
- a 16oz bottle of water
For Afternoon Snack
- two 4 oz whole milk yogurts
- a bowl of cheese crackers
- a glass of water
For Dinner
- 12 dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets
- french fries
- 2 bites of a spring roll
- 2 glasses of water
She polished off the lunch at Target. We had intended to just stop at Target to pick up a few essentials but she decided she wanted to eat lunch there. After she polished off the pizza AND two hot dogs AND a bottle of water, she informed me she was still "really really hungry" and wanted to go to McDonald's. We did NOT go to McDonald's :-)
After the afternoon snack, she asked for a third yogurt, but I had decided two was enough. So we decided to do some chores and she helped me clean our bedroom balcony instead. But by dinner she was ravenous again, and out of the blue was asking for spring rolls.
Either she has a tapeworm, or she's going through another growth spurt.
Posted by Heather on September 27, 2008 at 8:26 PM
Bobbin's taken her make believe to a new level recently. It's really quite hilarious. Here is a conversation that transpired between us at dinner. It is important for me to tell you that throughout this conversation, Bobbin was wearing a gold plastic tiara bespeckled with "rubies". And her ballet skirt. And her butterfly t-shirt. And her black patent shoes. And we were dining in a restaurant.
The conversation literally started out of the blue. One minute we were chatting about soccer, and the next:
Bobbin (looking at me): Prince, I want you to know that I love you. Me: Princess, I love you too. Bobbin: When we are done dinner, Prince, I want you to take me back to the castle. Me: Your wish is my command, Princess.
at this point Bobbin wobbled a bit in her booster seat and almost toppled over.
Me(catching her): Hey kiddo, are you ok? Bobbin (adjusting her tiara and brushing the hair back from her face): Yes I am, said the Princess.
And from this point the conversation became more of a narration.
Me: How are you french fries? Bobbin: Yummy, said the Princess. And then she ate the last one.
Posted by Heather on September 22, 2008 at 11:40 PM
That's what our weekend was all about.
Saturday morning gymnastics started out well enough but by the end, after having suffered several major bruises (to the ego and confidence moreso than the actual body, although that's bruised too :-)) she's decided she's going back to soccer. So good thing that I had my camera with me for what would end up being her last class (at least until she asks again ;-))
Posted by Heather on September 20, 2008 at 8:51 PM
We had our 2nd Gymnastics class this week. It started off much like the first; Bobbin didn't want to do the warm up exercises. She didn't want me to leave her. She wanted me to keep holding her hand. We didn't end up doing much warmup since I'm technically not allowed on the mats, so she and I sat on the sidelines and watched. When it was time to line up and follow the coach to the first activity, she was starting to ease into it all. They started with the bar and she did some hanging. Then we moved to the trampoline and she did some jumping. All was well until she got her got her foot jumped on at the end of the trampoline by another 3-year-old. Not a malicious thing; just an accident. But it hurt, and it also set back her confidence. However she got back up and got back into it, and then the third exercise was the "obstacle course" and Bobbin loves that. I don't actually know what it's called, but it's set up like an obstacle course; different each week, apparently. There's a tube to crawl through on an incline; a ladder placed horizontally across two mats to balance across; two stacks of mats over which the kids "monkey jump"; a "mushroom" where they have to stand and balance on one leg; and a ramp down which they do a forward roll (somersault). Bobbin loves it, and was quite enthusiastic, crawling, jumping, balancing, and rolling with the rest of them and announcing loudly "I LOVE GYMNASTICS CLASS" with each round of the course until she had accident #2, where she landed funny on her fingers in one of her "monkey jumps". That was the end for her, and there were only a couple of minutes left of class anyway.
On the way home I asked Bobbin if she liked gymnastics today. She replied with a firm "no". I asked her if she wanted to go back next week. She responded with a pained look on her face and said "No. I don't want to go back ever again. I want to do soccer. Mommy, lets go back to soccer. Do you like playing soccer wif me?"
And so it is, that after two gymnastics classes, Bobbin has decided she's finished. I'm totally cool with that. I don't want to make her do something that makes her miserable. I told her I was VERY VERY proud of her for giving it a really good try and being very brave and trying something new, and that if she ever wanted to try again we could but if she didn't, that was ok too.
Tim's going to build her a balance beam in the back yard (low to the ground ;-)) and I pulled up my exercise ball from the basement and she had a blast this afternoon in the living room rolling back and forth on it, and climbing over it, and doing "handstands" with it. "THIS is GYMNASTICS, Mommy!" she proclaimed happily, grinning ear to ear, as she launched herself forward on the ball until her hands touched the floor and her feet were in the air. I couldn't disagree with that!
This afternoon we went to the Train Restaurant for lunch, and played on the climber outside the restaurant afterwards. Bobbin took two spills on the soft rubberized "turf" under the climber as she was running around it. She scraped the tip of her nose on one of the falls. She spent a good hour swinging on the bars over the slide and then letting go and launching herself down the slide. after that we headed out to the mall to buy new shoes and that's when I found out that her feet have grown an entire size since July 5th, which was when we last purchased a pair of shoes for her. An entire size in 2 1/2 months. She went from an 8 1/2 to a 9 1/2. It occurred to me then that some of these trips and scrapes and falls and spills that she's been experiencing with seemingly increased frequency of late, are probably due to a growth spurt. I'll have to check her height tomorrow :-) We ended up getting two pairs of shoes. She got her first pair of "big girl" running shoes - shoes with laces just like Mommy's and Daddy's. Of course, they are white with pink sparkly stripes. By end of day Monday, after a day at school they'll be grey all over. And by the end of day saturday, they'll be completely black from the artificial rubber turf at the indoor soccer field, which is what Bobbin decided she wants to do instead of Gymnastics.
She also got her first real pair of "party" shoes: a pair of black patent shiny dress shoes for special occasions, of which we have several coming up. And because they were on sale for 50% off. Otherwise they would have been added to the Santa list :-) They look very formal and dressy but the have the sole and tread of a running shoe, which is a requirement for anything Bobbin's going to put on her feet, regardless of whether she's wearing a dress with it or not :-). We've got two cousin birthdays coming up; at least one friend's birthday; Halloween; picture day at Preschool; Thanksgiving; Santa Pictures; special outings (we'll probably do the Nutcracker again this year; Bobbin loved it so much last year!), and of course Christmas. Plenty of wear, and by then her feet will probably have outgrown them again anyway :-)
Posted by Heather on September 20, 2008 at 8:29 PM
A few weeks back we went to the zoo with Dave, Becky and Zed. Dave took the below photo at the Bear exhibit, which was the total highlight of the visit for me, giraffe feeding included. These two bears were swimming, wrestling and roaring at each other in the water, right in front of our noses. Inches away. Literally. At one point both Bobbin and Zed decided it was a little too close for their liking but they actually stayed right up at the glass for quite a bit of it before deciding to run for cover. That's Bobbin in the pink coat and pigtails.
Posted by Heather on September 19, 2008 at 10:11 PM
I took Bobbin to Big Girl Preschool today at 9am, I left her there at 10am, and returned to pick her up at 4pm. There were a few protests and some small tears as I said "see you later!" but she did great the entire day that I was gone. And I got to nap for a couple of hours in the middle of the day. Blissful :-)
We got off to a late start this morning though, because bedtime was fraught with hysterics again last night and she completely exhausted herself screaming in protest. As I mentioned in my last post, we believe, now, that she's been having bad dreams. Bad dreams that possibly involve some sort of separation from Tim and myself. She's been muddling through the concept of death recently. Unavoidable given the amount of roadkill we see on our street, and the National Geographic scenes that take place in our backyard. She's also been grappling with the concept that things she loves can get lost or broken and sometimes you don't find them again or can't fix them. And she also understands that there are things that are dangerous that she can't do because Mommy and Daddy will worry she will get hurt; hurt so bad that she might not get all the way better. And there are of course, the standard preschooler fear of Monsters. Somewhere among these rather complex lines of thought lies a fear, I think, that someday Mommy and Daddy will not be around and I think this is what she is dreaming about and why she is afraid to fall asleep, and why she insists on me checking her, and warns me frequently to be careful and stay safe, and tells me to make sure that I always come home again. And I always promise her that I will always come home again.
It doesn't seem right that a 3 year old should have to deal with these thoughts. I'm pretty sure that I myself was fairly naive and blissfully ignorant about them until at least grade school. I debate with myself all the time as to how to answer the increasingly difficult questions she's asking about death, war, danger. Monsters are easy because they're not real. But the rest... I don't want to lie to her because she will end up finding out the truth and then will know I've lied to her and will not trust me. I don't want to ignore the questions because she'll just find another source for answers to her questions and I want Tim and I to be the ones to answer these questions. I don't want to give her too much detail because she doesn't need it. I try and provide the very basic explanation, with just enough of an answer to satisfy the immediate question, or at least the underlying reason for the question, and without additional detail that will only panic her or be beyond her comprehension, but will be a solid framework for us to be able to build some rules of safety, and a foundation for compassion, trust, love and responsibility. But that balance is difficult to strike.
The latest series of conversations we've been having have actually been about love. Last night and tonight, this was what we discussed:
Bobbin: Where you keep your love? Me: My love is in my heart; it's in my head; it's in my arms when I hold you and my lips when I kiss you; it's in my eyes. Bobbin: where is my love? Me: In all the same places; in your heart, in your head, in your eyes, in your arms, in your kisses and hugs. Bobbin: Will it fall out? Me: Nope, it will never fall out. Your love is with you all the time, for ever and ever. It cannot fall out. It is safe inside you. Nobody can take it, and you can't lose it. You can only give love; it's your choice to give it. And the more love you give, the more love you have. You can NEVER run out of love. You will always have enough love, for everyone and everything who is special to you. Bobbin: can you eat love? Me: Well, you can eat food that you love. And you can eat with people that you love. But you don't really eat love itself... love is a feeling, not a taste. Bobbin: Love tastes YUMMY! Me: Yes! I guess it does taste yummy, and... sweet! And... Bobbin: Good! Me: Yes, very good. And Delicious! Bobbin: I love you, Mommy. And I love Daddy. And I love Zed and Edgar. Me: See, you have lots and lots of love. You'll never run out. Bobbin: I didn't want to go home tonight because I wanted to stay with Zed because I love her. Me: I think she loves you too. Bobbin: Why? Me: Because you are a good and kind friend, and a lot of fun to be with. Bobbin: And I don't want you to go anywhere without me because I love you too, Mommy. Me: And I love you. Bobbin: And Daddy loves me? Me: And Daddy loves you. We both love you. we love you when you're at school and we're at work. we love you when we're all together. We love you when you're sad or angry or silly or happy or frustrated. We love you when we're sad or angry or silly or happy or frustrated. We love you all the time no matter what for ever and ever.
At this point she blew me a kiss.
We got home at 9:45pm. I read her two Harold and the Purple Crayon stories in the big chair. She went to bed with minimal fuss; more likely because she was EXHAUSTED (no nap; up since 7:30; playing hard all day at Big Girl Preschool and then Zed's house) than because she was being agreeable :-).
I feel like we're making progress though. We love the school; Bobbin loves the school. I think we're ok there. It was the right decision. We think we know what's happening at bedtime and now that we do we can take the appropriate tact and tone. We have a plan for Daddy/Daughter wednesdays so that Bobbin can spend more time with Tim alone on a predictable recurring schedule now that he has more direct control over his work schedule. I feel like we untangled a mass of spaghetti and we now have three clear, long, strands that we can deal with rather than the messy tangle that was the last two weeks that would only get messier whenever we tugged on one end without sorting through the rest.
Keep your fingers crossed. I'm sure something new is going to pop up at any moment.
Day 3: Fun and some independance. Bedtime is still a battle
Posted by Heather on September 18, 2008 at 9:50 PM
Bobbin and I headed off to Big Girl Preschool at 8:30am this morning after she decided I was taking too long to get it together and proclaimed "Mommy, I want to go to school now."
Far be it for me to stand in the way of a 3 year old who WANTS to go to school. I don't think I even brushed my hair before leaving. I did thankfully already have my teeth brushed and deodorant applied when she made her declaration. Otherwise the day would have been rather unpleasant for all.
She did great today. I took a 5 minute break just before morning snack time to "make a phone call in the car". I did, actually, make a phone call in the car. I called Tim and said "guess what? I'm in the car. Bobbin's in her class eating a snack. Without me. She didn't even cry". Then I hung up, checked my work email from my phone, and then went back into class. I found Bobbin eating cheese and crackers at a table with 4 other kids, happily munching away.
At lunch I decided to try it again, for longer. Not that I have anything against cheese quesadillas, carrots, and apples (especially when it is all organic ingredients) but I felt the need to have something slightly more... adult. So after a tearful but quick goodbye to Bobbin, whom I left sitting on her teacher's lap (I heard her stop crying even before I closed the door; not bad at all) I headed over to PCC for a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant, and a chocolate milk (I did only say "slightly"). After I finished my own lunch I called to check in on Bobbin, talked to her teacher directly who told me about the 2 minutes after I had left, where Bobbin questioned her intensely on whether or not she was going to have to sleep at the preschool. She wasn't sure if Bobbin was thinking she was going to have to spend the night, or if she was just worried about being required to take a nap. Her teacher reassured her that naps were not required, and that Mommy would be coming to get her to take her home for dinner. After that, she was fine.
And so, upon hearing that, I did a little shopping and meandering, and then returned to the school precisely 2 hours after I had left, bearing a pint of organic blueberries for Bobbin's class for afternoon snack time, which I handed to Bobbin to give to her teacher when she ran happily to greet me.
We stayed for the rest of the day until about 4:30pm so that Bobbin could experience the afternoon routine, which she had not seen Tuesday or Wednesday. There was a brief moment of angst when she learned that the class would be going down to the "barn" (the school is comprised of multiple buildings; each age group's class is in a separate building) for their snack. But she quickly settled in comfortably, especially after her teacher announced loudly to the entire class that Bobbin brought blueberries to share with everyone and she received a resounding cheer of "THANK YOU BOBBIN!" from the entire group of 20 kids. An age-old tactic. Have food; friends will follow. It worked for me when my mom sent me out of our new apartment in germany at the age of 5, with a handful of red licorices to share with the kids on the playground and "make friends". In reality I know it was a tactic employed for the sole purpose of giving her some precious time to unpack moving boxes without me hovering "helpfully" nearby. But it worked! On both counts :-)
And so, overall, Bobbin had a GREAT day on all fronts and by all accounts. After school we stopped at Target to get some school supplies (a binder, some sheet protectors, and a plastic frame for a family photo) and then came home to play. She had a great dinner, albeit a little late, and she got her jammies on without much fuss. we read two "Harold and the Purple Crayon" stories. Bobbin LOVES Harold and the Purple Crayon. Almost as much as she loves "Courderoy". You just can't beat the classics. And she said goodnight to me without a fuss and settled happily in the big chair with Tim to watch "tec the tractor" before going to bed.
And then... bedtime came and along with it the hysterics and shrieking that has become the standard for the last few days. I think though, we can attribute the bedtime hysterics to something other than school anxiety. Tim and I are now convinced that she had a bad dream recently and is afraid to go to sleep. I stayed in the basement for my full 30 minute workout, surfacing only after I heard things quiet down for a while. As painful as it was to listen and not react, I don't want her to learn that if she screams I will come, because that will set us all up for even bigger failure down the road. So when the screaming stopped and all had stayed quiet, I ventured upstairs and found the lights all on in her bedroom and Bobbin sitting up in bed, quietly reading a book, as Tim sat at the foot of her bed. I snuggled with her for a while, and we talked about all the reasons why monsters can't hurt us and what happens if they come near us, like
1) Monsters are scared of dogs and kitties, and we have a dog and TWO kitties. There's no way a monster is brave enough to even come CLOSE to this house!
2) Monsters can look really scary, but really they'r eactually very shy and scared of LOUD NOISES. So if you do happen to see a monster, all you need to do is stand up straight, look it straight in the eyes, and yell at the top of your voice "GO AWAY MONSTER! YOU CAN'T COME HERE! and stomp your feet really hard. And then the monster will cry and run away because it'll be scared.
3) When monsters get scared, they actually get smaller. And so if you REALLY scare a monster badly, as it's running away it will actually be getting smaller and smaller and smaller until it's so small it's as small as a bug and then you can take your big foot and stomp on it and squish it and then "POOF" it'll disappear completely in a cloud of sparkly dust and never come back.
4) Once a monster has run from you, it never ever comes back. Even if you don't get a chance to stomp on it, it will never come back to the same person twice.
5) Daddy is the BEST monster scarer of them all, because Daddy can make his voice super mean and loud. The entire time I've known Daddy and have lived with him, I've NEVER EVER seen a monster.
Then I cuddled with her a bit longer, and finally left her alone in her bed, and told her I'd check on her again before bed.
Then I came out to the kitchen, had some cookies and milk, printed out a picture of the 3 of us for her to take to school tomorrow, along with her white 3-ring binder and sheet protectors.
Tomorrow I am going to attempt to leave at lunch and go back and pick her up at 4:30. I think I'll go for a walk and try and do some chores. Maybe take a nap. I deserve it :-). We'll see.
Posted by Heather on September 17, 2008 at 9:34 PM
I went to work today. Tim took Bobbin to Big Girl Preschool. Overall it seems it went ok. She panicked a little when Tim went to the bathroom and she noticed he wasn't there. But she did well, and she still likes the school. As a special treat, he took her to the Science Center in the afternoon to watch the butterflies.
But when they got home and she saw I wasn't there yet, I guess more hell broke loose. By the time I did get home, all was well again and this evening's routine went much better than last, with Bobbin getting her jammies on without a fuss; letting me pause the movie without screaming; saying a short and sweet goodnight to me without sobbing for me to not leave her; going potty without having to be coaxed before bed; and actually getting tucked in without complaint or hysterics for "Momma". So I think we're making progress.
I have the rest of the week off. Tomorrow is going to be our first attempt at a full day of school. I'm sure she'll be fine. I'm not sure I'm ready to handle 8 hours of preschool though. It's sitting on the floor or those tiny chairs and tables that kill me ;-)
I looked up "anxiety" on our pediatrician's online advisor web site and found this description:
Anxieties can become severe and begin to interfere with the daily activities of childhood, such as separating from parents, attending school, and making friends. You should discuss concerns you have about your child's anxieties with your child's physician. The physician may then refer your child to a mental health professional for an evaluation.
A child or adolescent with severe separation anxiety may show some of the following:
constant thoughts and fears about safety of self and parents
refusal to go to school
frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints
extreme worries about sleeping away from home
overly clingy behavior at home
panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents.
So I'm concerned. But I don't want to overreact. I know that hauling Bobbin in to the doctor in the midst of a an already fairly significant time of transition that accounts for 95% of the anxiety she's experiencing isn't going to do anything to help the situation; it'll just feed her anxiety with thoughts that Mommy thinks there's something wrong. I know she needs a couple of weeks consistent routine to feel secure again that her life is predictable. That knowledge doesn't do anything to prevent me from wanting to press the fast-forward button on a magic remote control to see how this has all turned out though.
So all the energy that is fueling my anxiety about her anxiety (which is not NEARLY of the proportions it would be were I not taking my zoloft on a daily basis, thank you) perhaps is best spent fueling my body on the elliptical instead. I have been burning more calories in my workouts recently (when I'm not interrupted by hysterics). There's a plus... right?
A good first day; but anxiety sets in after the fact
Posted by Heather on September 16, 2008 at 9:05 PM
Big Girl Preschool was a hit. Bobbin and I spent the entire morning there from 8:30am - 12:15pm. She did GREAT. She participated in the class, ran and had fun, played with other kids, interacted with the teacher, and enthusiastically proclaimed several times "I LIKE THIS PRESCHOOL! IT'S FUN! I WANT TO GO AGAIN!"
All afternoon she spent re-enacting her day at Big Girl Preschool. All of her stuffed toys assumed the names of the kids that are in her class. She became "Miss Trimm", which is the name of my own kindergarten teacher. For some reason Bobbin's latched onto "Miss Trimm", perhaps because she identified with the stories I told her of how I felt shy and nervous when I went to Kindergarten for the first time but then my teacher Miss Trimm turned out to be really nice and I had a lot of fun in her class. So she becomes "Miss Trimm" now. I am a student, as are all of her stuffed toys. Bobbin lined us up to go outside. She made us wash our hands when we were inside. She gave us each a puzzle to play with (yes, she has that many puzzles; this girl loves puzzles). We had circle time. Then she would turn from "Miss Trimm" into "Mommy" or "Daddy" and come pick me up and take me home from school. And then we'd start all over again.
Yup, all afternoon and into the evening she was replaying the day in her mind and out loud. She liked Big Girl Preschool. She liked the teacher. She liked the class. She had fun. She wants to go again. I read three books to her, one of which was called "My Preschool" and she loved it. She kissed me goodnight without a fuss. I went to exercise.
And then, about 30 minutes later, all hell broke loose. I ended up having to come upstairs when I got to the 30 minute mark to help calm her down. She was in hysterics. She had all kinds of disjointed thoughts in her head; she wants me to know she loves me and so she doesn't want to let anyone else help her or love her. As if loving me meant there was nothing else left to go around. It was really quite heart wrenching. I explained to her that the special thing about love is that the more people you love, the more love you have to give. In the end I think she is anxious because tomorrow she goes to Big Girl Preschool without Mommy. Tomorrow is Tim's turn to take her. And she just needs to get through it to know that it's going to be ok. It breaks my heart though to see her in such clear turmoil. The conversation about love was really unexpected. I have no idea where she got the idea in her head that I wouldn't know that she loves me if I'm not with her. Am I to blame for that? Is there something I should have or shouldn't have done that causes her to think this way? I don't know.
On the plus side - her enthusiasm for her new preschool was real and genuine. I honestly believe once we get through the challenge of transition and she starts to build relationships and trust with her teachers and other kids, that this will end up being better for her than her last school. I already see some signs. I just want it to not be so painful for her. But I guess I can't shield her from pain forever, and trying to do so would only end up making things worse. I just have to trust that she'll work through this and that we're doing the right things in how we're supporting her through this. It's still very hard.
Ugh. I feel your pain in trying to shield Bobbin from pain.
Funny thing about kids and love, they need to know that they are loved unconditionally...and we teach them that they are...and when love goes around, it comes around.
Posted by Heather on September 15, 2008 at 10:10 PM
Did my 60 minutes today to The Daily Show and Colbert Report. Ah, how I missed Jon and Steven. The time flew by tonight and I worked up a great sweat. I'm ready for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Bobbin's first day at "Big Girl Preschool". I bought her a new sparkly Cinderella Princess Backpack to commemorate the occasion. I filled it with a new set of markers (her old ones were used up, dried out, or both), a new doodle pad, and some new pastel crayons. All of which, backpack included, were in the clearance aisle at Target. I love the "after back to school" sales :-)
She's apprehensive. Understandably so. She alternates between wanting to go to her "wegular class" and wanting to go to "big girl preschool" from minute to minute. The backpack was a hit though.
She's getting so big so fast. We were in Fred Meyer the other day, perusing the toy aisles while I waited for my prescription to be filled, when Bobbin saw the bicycle rack from a distance and made a beeline over to a 12" pink, tasselled, bike with training wheels. A real honest-to-goodness big girl bike, with bicycle chain and backpedal brakes. I took it off the shelf to let her check it out. She climbed on and put her feet on the pedals. And proceeded to ride all the way down to the end of the aisle. The backpedal braking motion kinda threw her for a loop, but she eventually got it.
A big girl bike. Is it possible? She's only just turned 3. We did add it to the top of the Santa list though. But it has to be pink.
She's also started creating a distinction in her mind of "girl things" and "boy things". I'm not sure where this comes from. She has lots of what some might think of as "boy" things that she loves to play with - her Elmo toolbench; her Thomas the Train set; her collection of matchbox cars and trucks; her airplanes. And her imagination has her traveling to the moon, playing a running back in football, and driving dump trucks on a regular basis. Of course, she'll often do so while dressed in a sparkly pink dress and sporting a tiara and some of my lipstick. But there's no rule that states a princess can't be a back hoe operator or linebacker or vice versa. Ok, maybe for the time being it's best to remain a closet princess if you're a linebacker :-)
Anyway, we were flipping through the latest fisher-price catalog this evening. The first section, with the Little People stuff, she did not identify as being associated with a particular gender. Next came the jeeps and cars and trucks. Of course, all of the photos showed little boys playing with these toys. Bobbin pointed and said "this is the boy section". I replied with "Well, there are boys in the pictures, but girls play with these toys too" and reminded her that she loved playing with her cars and with her trains. The pages after this were pink and filled with dolls and frills and pretend cookware and princess costumes and dress up jewelry. Bobbin pointed and said, authoritatively, "these things are just for girls". I asked her if she saw boys playing with baby dolls at school, or pretended to cook in the play kitchen and dress up in the play clothes and she said yes. So I pointed out that even though these pictures only had girls in them, boys could still play with all these toys too. And aren't Daddy and Grandpa Jerry two of the best cooks you know? I decided it best to not get into the stereotyped interpretations that many would make upon seeing a little boy in a princess dress and rhinestone earrings carrying a pink silk purse :-). And granted, the boys at school are often throwing the baby dolls against the wall or banging the toy frying pans on the bookcase when they're playing. But all of that's neither here nor there.
Still, it's interesting to see that she's picking up on some of the stereotypes that remain common in advertising.
Tomorrow should be interesting. I have no idea how this is going to go. I'm mentally prepared for anything. I hope that her natural curiosity takes over as soon as we enter the classroom. I know that she'll spend the first little while observing quietly and taking it all in. We'll see what happens after that :-)
After the farm, we all headed back to our place for more playtime and pizza. And all of this was after a morning of gymnastics and no afternoon nap. By 6:45pm we were all ready to pack it in for the night :-).
Bobbin did great at gymnastics. No pictures today. The 3-4 year old class is for kids only; no parents on the mats. We get to watch from the other side of the boards. I violated the rules during warm up because Bobbin just wasn't ready to go it on her own, but once they moved on to the trampolines, I was able to slowly extricate myself and move back over to the parents' area to watch from afar, as my little gymnast bounced her way down the trampolines, did front rolls down the squishy mat, balanced on the beam, and even gave the bar a swing (although she declined the coach's offer to help her do a front spin on it. Just not quite ready for that yet :-)). After class was over she got star stamps on her hand and came bounding over to me, arms wide open, declaring "I LOVE THIS CLASS!"
Brrriiiiiing... Hello? Is this Mommy's bluff? Hey! I've been trying to call you all day. Where ya been?
Posted by Heather on September 11, 2008 at 9:25 PM
Me: Ok, let's get dressed. Bobbin: No. Me: No watermelon juice till you get dressed. Bobbin: Ok. I don't WANT watermelon juice. I don't want to get dressed. I want to play. Me: No Curious George till you get dressed. Bobbin: I don't WANT to watch TV. I want to play. Me: Daddy will have to take you to school if you don't get dressed now. Bobbin: NO! MOMMY!
Score one for me.
...
Me: Ok honey, let's go home. Bobbin: No. Me: No TV. No Candy. No stories before bedtime if you don't come with me now. Bobbin: No. I want to play. 5 minutes. Me: No 5 minutes; I already gave you 5 minutes. We need to leave now. Bobbin: 2 minutes. Me: You'll miss out on dinner: Hotdogs and macaroni and cheese - if we don't leave now. Bobbin: It's gonna get cold? Me: Yes. Bobbin: I don't want dinner. I want to play. Me: (coming up blank) Ok then... Bobbin: You gonna leave without me? Me: (pausing briefly) No. I can't leave without you. I'd get arrested. But I will pick you up and carry you to the car if I have to. Bobbin: I'm COMING. I SAID I am coming. You don't NEED to get ANGRY. That's NOT ok.
...
Bobbin: I don't WANT to wash my hands and face. Me: You rubbed hotdog on your cheeks. You have to wash your face. Do you want Tommy to lick you? Bobbin: SHUT UP! Me: (carrying her into her room and depositing her on her bed) You do NOT say those words to me or to anyone. That was rude and disrespectful. That is NOT ok to say. Bobbin: Caleb says it at school. Me: I don't care who says it. It's not ok to say. Does the teacher tell Caleb not to say it at school? Bobbin: Yes. Me: Then no more. Bobbin: SHUT UP. Me: Time out time. 3 minutes. Bobbin:(as I'm walking out of her room and closing her door, she's singing to herself) Twinkle, twinkle little star... Shut UP Cinderella! I like you.
I made my goal again last week with 60 minutes on the elliptical yesterday evening. Started off this week with a 4 mile walk today and topped it off this evening with 30 minutes on the elliptical. I weigh myself next Sunday.
Bobbin had no nap today. Woke up at 6:45pm and went to bed at 8:15pm. You'd never have known it. No implosions, even when I left for my walk, or when we were over at our friends' house this afternoon and evening. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow though.
Yesterday, however, was The Big Event: Bobbin's BFF from school turned 3 years old. Bobbin has been eagerly anticipating this birthday party for 3 weeks - ever since he handed her an invitation at school. She had her dress picked out the day before - white with green and pink embroidery and a little pink eyelet petticoat underneath. Same one that she wore to her own birthday party. As we walked up the steps to his front door she stopped, swished her dress, and said with a smile, "[BFF] is really going to like this dress". Oooh boy :-) She had a total blast at the party and so did BFF. I managed to capture a few moments with the camera.
Her imagination is really blossoming these days as well. Her climber outside frequently turns into a castle, a hospital, a fire station, and a sailboat among other things. Her favourite is to slide down the slide with her fire fighter's hat on and yelling "WOOOO ooooo OOOO oooo" to rescue Kitty, whom she has tossed off the top of the climber. Once rescued she hauls him back up to the top of the climber which has become a hospital, and gives Kitty CPR and gets him breathing again and checks his heart. I caught her in the act a few days ago and took this series of photos
Finally, I leave you with Bobbin's latest passion: Balancing. She doesn't realize it, but she has a lot in common with her Mommy that way. Metaphorically speaking, of course :-) She starts Gymnastics next saturday. We decided to give Soccer a bit of a break for a while so it doesn't become old; she was starting to have a harder and harder time staying enthused for the whole class. So next week she starts the "Mini Munckins" gymnastics class for 3-4 1/2 year olds. "Girls and boys will learn gymnastics concepts through movement exploration. Concepts will include body, space, and motion awareness, as well as developing social skills and creativity. Balance, strength, coordination, and self-confidence is enhanced through manipulative and non-manipulative gymnastic drills." is the blurb on their web site. We'll see what she thinks. Right now she's pretty excited at the concept that there's a whole class whose main purpose is to let her jump and tumble and hang and balance. We'll see how she fares in a more organized setting (as opposed to the free-for-all at the local playground :-)). If she doesn't like it, we'll go back to soccer; try and find out which class BFF is in if he still goes. Or we'll just continue our morning saturday routine of hitting the playgrounds at 8:30am (bring a towel if you go that early. two towels if it's a big climber :-))
We went to the Zoo today. We saw Lions, Tigers, and Bears (oh BOY did we see bears!) Zebras, Gazelles, Tapirs, Elephants, Monkeys, Orangutans, Eagles, River Otters, Giraffes (we even fed them!) Elk, Mountain Goats, and a really big snake, among countless other animals. We started our adventure at 9:30am on a cool, overcast day - perfect time and weather for getting great glimpses of animals on the move, up close and personal. And Bobbin walked everywhere we went, which explains why she consumed the following throughout the day after having 6-pancakes (mini pancakes but still), 2-servings of oranges, a multi-vitamin gummi bear and 2 glasses of Watermelon juice for breakfast
- at least a dozen large strawberries
- 3 large slices of cheddar cheese
- 1 serving of watermelon
- half a baggie of cheese crackers
- 2 hotdogs (sans bun)
- 2 servings of large green seedless grapes
- half a dozen peeled baby carrots (raw)
- a serving of blueberries
- 1 and 1/2 cobs of corn
- 2 oz of "steak on a stick"
- several glasses of water
Talk about well balanced; I think we hit on all the food groups at least twice today and the only colour of the food rainbow we missed was purple.
She also had NO nap. At all. Up at 7am and didn't stop moving until 8pm. I ended up taking a nap but she opted to "play quietly in the living room with Daddy". Well, ok then.
So she's out like a light right now after having a bath, a story, and hitting the potty. Ooooh boy, I don't have to tell you that was not a pleasant aroma after all that stuff. I don't know if Bobbin did it or Tim did but I went back in a few minutes later and actually found the fan switched on!
I got my 30 minutes of exercise in on the elliptical; that's just the exercise I measured. I figure I got much more than that in actuality between the walk around the zoo, the rousing game of "EMERGENCY" Bobbin roped me into outside on her climber as we waited for dinner, and the breathless game of soccer we got into after that.
EMERGENCY was entirely of Bobbin's own making and entailed throwing Kitty off the top of her climber and yelling HELP HELP GET THE AMBULANCE CALL ONE ONE ONE" (she's still learn
