Bringing Up Bobbin

New Parent Survival Tip: Bactine & old mateless socks

When Bobbin started walking... oh wow... like 14 months ago! I started stocking the house and diaper bag and car with

- Portable first-aid kits containing sting-free antiseptic wipes, bandaids, and antibiotic ointment
- little travel-sized containers of Kid-friendly foaming hand sanitizer
- little tubes of kid-friendly no-sting boo-boo cream
- travel-sized spray bottles of bactine
- fun bandaids of all sizes (Dora, Elmo, and flourscent pink and green)
- hello kitty ice packs (cause she won't hold it to her owie unless it's soft and interesting)
- gauze pads
- Tweezers (for slivers and thorns :-))

and I cannot tell you HOW OFTEN I've been grateful to have these supplies within arms reach no matter where we are :-). I've restocked a few times. Let's just leave it at that.

Bobbin fell on the sidewalk in front of her school yesterday as we were heading to the car. Scraped her left knee something awful. Completely raw. It had to have hurt. I got out my kit, cleaned her up, and got a giant toddler-knee-sized bandaid to cover it till we got home. She cried bloody murder all the way home. She did, however, enlighten me between sobs that it wasn't so much that her owie hurt, which it did, but also told me "Bobbin fall down on sidewalk at school. Get hurt. Really scary". In other words, there was a fairly large element of fear associated with the crying as well. Bobbin realized she can get hurt.

As with the night following fat-lip incident, last night she slept absolutely HORRIBLY. And thus, so did we. And I'm thinking again that it isn't just the pain or discomfort of sleeping with a scabbed up knee that caused the restlessness, but it was also fear. I think that both incidents caused her to have bad dreams. It would make sense. And so when she wakes up from these dreams she's fearful to go back to sleep because she doesn't want them to happen again. Hell, I still have dreams like that on occasion.

This morning the knee still hurt, and was still "skeh-ee". Yet she insisted on wearing her "Pretty pah-tee dess" to school. Without long pants underneath to cover her owie. And she refused a bandaid. She didn't like how it rippled when she bent her knee. And so in a burst of sheer mom ingenuity, I located an old sock of hers that had long lost its mate, cut off the foot, and slid it up over her knee to protect her scrape and give her a little more comfort and coverage than a standard bandaid could offer. It worked!

Bactine has proven to be a small miracle too. I may have to buy stock in the company. While she hates anything touching her owie, immediately after a couple of sprays of this stuff on her knee, she's jumping around like nothing happened, running, laughing, playing. Every once in a while she stops and points to her knee and says "Bobbin have owie. Owie hurt. Bobbin fall down sidewalk hurt self at school" and then she's off again.

Bactine and old socks. Even if they're only crawling, stock up now. You'll be grateful for it when that first fall happens.

Oh, and I still get "Bobbin fall down bump mouf" every time we pass the flower garden store that was the scene of the fat-lip incident. Every time. Twice a day. And now we've added "Bobbin fall down sidewalk bump knee get owie" every time we walk on the sidewalk in front of her school. Twice a day. Every day.

Good to know I'm helping her create such fond, long-lasting memories of her childhood surroundings. I can just picture a day in the distant future: Bobbin Jr. in the back of the car in car seat, and Bobbin in the passenger seat as I drive them to the grocery store during one of their yearly trips to visit "Grandma and Grandpa": "And right there... see, Bobbin Jr? That's where Mommy fell down and bumped her mouth because Grandma let her play on the wooden climbing structure while it was raining. And there... over there is Mommy's old daycare, and that sidewalk is where Mommy fell down and scraped her knee really bad while she was running to give Grandma a big hug... and over there, that's where..."

Yeah... Great ;-)

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Listen to your instincts, and to what your toddler is and is not saying

Bobbin started the "Toddler 2" classroom about 3 weeks ago. I expected a return of the tearful goodbyes in the morning as she adjusted to her new class and teachers. And for the first week, that was pretty much what happened. I had done what we could to prep her - we talked all about how she was such a big girl that soon she'd be going to the big kids classroom with all of her friends (who thankfully were moving up at the same time as she was for the most part). We talked about the new teachers in the classroom, both of whom she had met previously at school during her regular teacher's breaks or lunch, and one of whom has babysat a couple of times at our place. We even made regular visits to her new classroom in the morning before school and in the afternoon on the way home so she would know what it looked like, and see all the toys and pictures and tables and chairs and see it as a familiar environment.

Overall the first week went fairly smoothly. There were tearful goodbyes as I expected but I would always send the administrator back on my way out to confirm she was doing ok, and she was always fine within 5 minutes of my having left her. All goodness.

And then a couple weeks ago, things took a turn for the worst. Bobbin started having trouble sleeping. She'd fall to sleep fine, but invariably would wake up in the middle of the night very upset, sometimes disoriented, and most times not wanting to be in her bed anymore. That first week she also came down with an ear infection, and we started her on antibiotics and chalked up the night sleeping to pain & discomfort. And for the most part it may have been; we'll never know for sure.

But shortly after getting the ear infection diagnosis, Bobbin started having trouble in the mornings as well. Instead of being her usual cheerful self, when I'd walk into the room in the morning she'd immediately start crying and throwing herself around in her bed and kicking at her crib. She'd sob, and refused to be picked up or comforted. And when I did eventually get her out of her crib, or managed to get her to stop crying long enough to tell me what was wrong, she would envariably respond "No school, mommy. No school. Bobbin no go school. Stay home. Stay home". It's not totally uncommon for her to protest going to school on Monday mornings, but it's never been with this much energy. Usually I explain how it's a week day which means Bobbin goes to school and Mommy and Daddy go to work, and then tell her she gets to decide what's for dinner (Mondays are typically Bobbin's menu :-)) and she's all fine. This was different.

I took her back in for another checkup because her restlessness at night had resumed as well, and sure enough the doctor found that the ear infection was still raging, and put her on more antibiotics. We figured much of the night time troubles could be due to the discomfort she felt in her ear while lying down. And the fact that she was going on week 3 of antibiotics may have also explained the new complaint in the mornings of her feeling "tummy sick".

All the same, I decided to spend a bit more time checking out the new classroom situation, because the fact that she was still protesting school on a daily basis and still waking up anxious and fragile was just completely out of character for our little sunshine.

So end of last week and all this week I've been taking her in to school and staying for longer periods of time. At first I stayed for the first 30 minutes, which would typically involve Bobbin and I sitting at the table in her new classroom eating yogurt. During this time, her primary teacher Miss M would typically go through and change each kid's diaper one by one, start their daily report, and tend to other administrative type stuff. Miss M has been at the school for about 3 months. She spent some time in Toddler 1 initially which is how Bobbin knew her. She's fairly reserved by nature but she seemed kind with the kids if a little distant. Miss B has been at the school for several years. She was the original Toddler 2 teacher before taking a leave of absence. Since her return she's been put back in Toddler 2 to help, and this week she's actually been out of toddler 2 again and covering preschool while that regular teacher is on vacation. All of this I learned by being in the classroom and observing no Miss B, despite the fact that I had been promised she'd be in the class. And by watching Miss M's interaction with the kids.

After the first few days of my 30-minute sessions I was starting to get a little curious about a couple of things. When I asked Miss M how Bobbin did during the first few days, the response I got back was "She did ok". Not to sound like the biased mother that I know I am, but "did ok" is not actually a term I've ever heard to describe Bobbin's temperment and behaviour at school. "Smart", "Quick", "Quiet observer", "happy", "curious", "cooperative", "kind" and "caring" are all words I heard on a daily basis in Toddler 1. But I tried to keep an open mind and considered that she didn't have a lot of experience with Bobbin and vice versa, and her entire class was new, and so "ok" probably was an accurate assessment. All the same, I stopped by the administrator's office and asked if for the first couple of weeks they could instruct the teachers to be a little more verbose on the daily reports and in person regarding how Bobbin (and the other kids for that matter) was adjusting to the new class and interacting with her classmates and teachers. They promised they would work with Miss M in particular.

A few days ago, after not seeing much more of a change in either Bobbin's behaviour or the first 30 minutes of the school routine, I decided to stick around a little longer. I rearranged my schedule and spent a full hour and a half in the morning with Bobbin in her classroom. It was an eye opening experience.

There were several things wrong upon our immediate arrival.

Bobbin was the 10th child in the classroom. The state required teacher:student ratio for Toddler 2 is 1:7. Miss M was the only teacher in the class. And the other 9 kids were running around chaotically, climbing on tables, taking toys away from one another, and generally behaving like you would expect a bunch of unsupervised 2-year-olds to behave. Miss M was rotating through the kids one by one changing their diapers. She was a diaper changing machine. Every once in a while she'd call out "Feet on the floor please" in a firm but kindly voice from the diaper changing table, which would usually go unacknowledged by the toddlers who were in the process of scaling the bookcase or table or stack of chairs.

I sat Bobbin down and got her started with her yogurts, and waited and watched; maybe several kids arrived at once, and the administrator was already tracking down someone to assist in the classroom. Maybe Miss B had called in sick, and htey were having to scramble to find a backup. Maybe they just haven't done their hourly rounds yet to count the kids in each classroom. I waited and watched.

Miss M continued to change diapers, and stand in the corner filling out the papers. For the amount of time she spent with that pen and clipboard I was expecting a detailed novella capturing every nuance of Bobbin's day (I discovered at the end of day that was absolutely not the case). But still, the only interaction I was observing between teacher and child was diaper changing. It was going on an hour, and there had been no attempt to rally the kids together for story time, or singing, or colouring, or dancing. There was no music playing. There was nothing. And all the kids had been changed at least once. And there was still only 1 teacher and 10 toddlers. And me.

Bobbin finished her first yogurt and asked me to put her blankie in her cubby, and that's when I realized she didn't have a cubby anymore. I asked Miss M and she said they took it back to Toddler 1. So I offered to go get it and that's when she told me that they took it away for good, and Bobbin didn't have a cubby anymore.

Ok... so it's a little cardboard box with her name on it, but it's a very precious thing to a 2-year-old. It's HER cubby. It's where she keeps blankie, and whatever special toy she brought with her that day. It has HER stuff in it. HER diapers. HER suncream. It's hers to touch and put things in and take things out of at the beginning and end of the day. She knows where it is, because it's in the same spot every morning. It's a symbol of her permanence in that classroom and now it was gone. Her diapers were stacked haphazardly in the hole where the box had been, and there was no room for her blankie, let alone her special books or toys that she brings on occasion.

I told Bobbin I'd be right back, and she settled down happily with her second yogurt. I searched for the administrator and came up empty. I found Miss B in the Preschool classroom, and made a mental note. I finally found one of the assistant administrators and said "I'm a little bit annoyed and I hope you can help me". That got her attention. "There are 10 kids in Toddler 2 and only 1 teacher". She promised to rectify that situation immediately. "And it's not a huge deal, but Bobbin's cubby was taken away, and I'm told she doesn't get a new one. I'd like Bobbin to have a cubby in the Toddler 2 classroom". She promised she would rectify that as well.

I was back in the class within 5 minutes, and I heard before I saw Bobbin screaming and crying over at her little table, clutching her container of yogurt and spoon to her chest, tears rolling down her little red cheeks. Clustered around her were 4 other toddlers, all trying to stick their hands in her yogurt, or take away her spoon. Two year olds are still grappling with the concept that just because something is within their line of vision, doesn't mean it belongs to them and they can take it. It's a hard concept to learn. I know some adults who still haven't mastered it. But there had been, and was not about to be, any intervention on the part of the teacher, who was standing with her back to the whole activity, rotely changing yet another toddler's diaper. If there isn't someone with authority there to firmly (but gently) set boundaries, how are these kids ever going to learn some of these lessons?

I stepped in and scattered the kids, pointing them towards books and blocks, and told Bobbin it was her yogurt and if anyone tried to take it she should say "Stop" or "this is my yogurt and my space" and if that didn't work to ask the teacher for "help please Miss M" in a loud voice. Bobbin settled down, and shortly thereafter a 2nd teacher (Miss S, who usually is in Toddler 1 and so knows Bobbin very well) finally arrived. At this point I was an hour and a half into my little observation session and unfortunately had to start getting ready to work. I got Bobbin settled with Miss S, but it was still a very tearful and panicked goodbye, and I left.

After calming down sufficiently, I called Tim and told him what I had experienced. Tim had the day off, so I asked him to go back to the school and spy for me before they started getting into lunch and nap time. I wanted to know if the rest of the morning was as chaotic as the beginning, and whether or not miss M was capable of tearing herself away from diaper changing duties long enough to interact with the kids in a more interesting and fun way. Songs, dancing, colouring, going outside... anything other than the repeated diaper changing and paper-filling-out that I watched her do for that first hour and a half.

Tim headed out on his mission and I went to a meeting. I was relieved to get a phone call an hour later from Tim, who told me that Miss B was back in the classroom, and they were engaged in some kind of group dancing/singing thing, and Bobbin appeared to be happy.

All the same, at lunch time I took another trip back to school to catch up with the administrator and tell her what I saw and how I felt it explained Bobbin's behaviour at home. She listened well, and promised change, starting with Miss B back in the class full time, finding another sub for Pre-K, and talking with Miss M about the need to be more engaging with the teachers as well as evaluating whether or not that was the right class for her. I left cautiously optimistic.

When I picked Bobbin up from school she seemed happier. But the next morning saw more of the same protests, anxiety, etc. However it stopped as soon as I reassured her that "Miss B is going to be in your classroom all day with you today. She's going to sing and read stories and play and dance. You're going to have so much fun!". She starting seeming as cautiously optimistic as I was feeling. She started talking about "Miss B" and the "New Classroom", which is not a subject she's touched on in the last two weeks except to say "No go school". Ok...

This morning we arrived at 8:30. Miss M greated us in a more friendly, outgoing manner than previously. She even smiled. She still seemed shy and reserved, but I really got a sense she was making an effort. Miss B arrived minutes after we got there. And as soon as she entered, Bobbin's entire temperment relaxed. You could almost feel the tension slip away. Miss B immediately started engaging with each of the kids one by one, and brought out story books, and started talking about "Circle Time". Bobbin gobbled down her yogurt for fear of missing out. When Miss B started herding the kids towards the carpet for Circle Time and stories, I decided to try and make my exit. I said goodbye to Bobbin and asked her to help Miss B with Circle Time and said I'd be back at 5:15 to get her. I blew her a kiss and she watched me leave. But there were no tears. And before I was gone she had turned around and followed Miss B to the carpet for circle time.

When I went to pick Bobbin up from school she was energetic and happy. Her old self, so to speak. I asked her what she did today and she said "Circle Time!" and "Miss B weed books". She was goofy and smiling and running around.

When we got home, Bobbin got out her toy caterpiller and immediately set about playing pretend. Bobbin pulled her little caterpiller over to where I was sitting and said "Robyn go work. Bye bye caterpiller. Circle Time! Love you" and then I said "Ok everyone, it's Circle Time! Lets sing a song" and would proceed to belt out "If you're happy and you know it" or some other tune. And in the middle of the song she would reappear from behind the lawn chair that was pretending to be "work" and say "Robyn here! Hi caterpiller" and come over and give the caterpiller and me a big happy hug and kiss, and she'd ask "Circle time? Yah? Good day? Yah?" and then we'd start all over again.

I'm still cautiously optimistic. But I do believe at least for the moment, the school issue is identified and hopefully resolved or at least well on its way to being resolved. I intend to follow up daily with the administrator to know what they're doing to coach Miss M, and I intend to continue spending half an hour a morning there, and pop in for surprise visits during lunch. But I do believe that what Bobbin had been trying to tell us all along was "School Sucks, mom and Dad. It's not fun anymore. I don't like it. I'm not happy there. The teacher isn't fun, and the kids aren't nice and no one does anything about it and don't make me go anymore".

Yeah - having recurring ear infections probably didn't help. And neither did the 100F heat wave this week. And I'm sure that having a break for July 4th last week caused some interruption in the whole adjustment period as well. And some of it was bound to occur even if Miss M was the most engaging and fun teacher in the world; it was a new classroom; it was change. But there was definitely a lot more contributing as well. And hopefully we've fixed it. It'll probably be another week before Bobbin really trusts that it is permanent (and before I do too, for that matter), but I think we figured it out. My fingers are crossed.

Oh - and Bobbin has a new cubby. It was one of the first things Miss B did when she was reassigned to Toddler 2. The very first thing was Circle Time :-).

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Online toy shoppers, beware!

I've mentioned it previously, but it's worth repeating: If you buy toys online from amazon.com, price compare with your local retailers, and with the manufacturer's online store (if they have one) before purchasing. You could save yourself 50% or more!

Just for kicks, I did a price check between Fisher-Price's online store and Amazon.com (new items only; not used). And for comparison I also checked the prices for the same items at toysrus.com, who is no longer affiliated with amazon.com (I think they "broke up" a couple of years ago). Ever since toysrus and amazon.com parted ways, the toy section of amazon.com in my opinion has gone down hill, mainly in terms of retailer reliability and prices. Aside from the price gouging that many of the toy retailers engage in, on the rare occasions when I do make a toy purchase from amazon.com, I've had two terrible experiences in getting the items shipped. In one case the item NEVER arrived; I had ordered it 3 months before christmas as a present for Bobbin, 2 weeks before christmas it still hadn't arrived after SEVERAL nasty email and phone calls to the retailer, and finally I cancelled my order, submitted a formal complaint to amazon.com regarding the retailer, and searched my local retailers for a similar item (which thankfully, I found).

Online shopping is convenient and I continue to do it, but compare prices and only do business with recognized names - toysrus.com has always been one of my favourites. Trustworthy, nation-wide, and as you can see from the price comparison below, comes closest to matching the Manufacturer's recommended retail price and/or the manufacturer's own retail price.

Little People Fun Sounds Playground
fisher-price.com: $15.00
amazon.com: $33.95

Little People Lil' Movers Airplane
fisher-price.com: $17.00
amazon.com: $39.99
toysrus.com: $16.99

Little People A to Z Learning Zoo Playset
fisher-price.com: $43.00
amazon.com: $52.99

Little People Time to Learn Preschool
fisher-price.com: $30.00
amazon.com: $34.99
toysrus.com: $34.99

Little People Sweet Sounds Home
fisher-price.com: $33.00
amazon.com: $62.99
toysrus.com: $29.99 (reg $32.99)

To be fair, you can find some deals on amazon.com. It depends on the retailer from whom you are purchasing. My personal experience, I've found "Toyzz" and "Mega Toyland" to be the priciest toy retailers on amazon.com. Often times, an item is available from more than one retailer. So even within amazon.com it pays to look at the price (AND the comments/reputation) of the retailer and compare with other retailers on amazon.com.

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Parent Tip: Travel toys for toddlers

Been doing some research online prepping for our trip east to my sister's wedding and a visit with my folks. Specifically, I'm looking for ways to keep Bobbin entertained on the 5-hour airplane ride, and in the 2-hour car ride back to my folks house, and in the 4 hour car ride a couple of days later from my parents' to the town where my sister's getting married.

I don't want to have to lug around a 10 lb bag of toys, nor do I relish the idea of having to pick up pieces of something - be it legos, doll accessories, etc - from the floor. So I've been looking for creative alternatives. The fact that I'm keeping them all hidden until the plane ride so that they're new and exciting when I pull them out should help too. At any rate, here are some cool things I've found:

1) Color Scroller by Alex Toys- Color and keep 50 pictures to create your own slide show! As pictures are completed, simply turn the knob at the bottom to advance to the next one. Color Scroller measures 7” x 9” and includes 6 crayons in a handy drawer, and two fun scrolls! Alex Toys (www.alextoys.com ) has a lot of other good portable arts & crafts toys too that you might want to check out.

2) Crayola Color Wonder paints, markers, colouring books and paper – the paints and markers only work on the special paper so you won’t mess the plane or your car up you can get a little travel tote like this one

3) Imaginetics Magnetic Playsets- they have ones with dinosaurs, cars, firetrucks, sesame street, thomas the tank engine– pretty much any subject. You and your toddler can create pictures, tell stories and play games! If you have a toddler fond of stickers (and what toddler isn't?) these are fun because they're kinda like stickers that you can use over and over and over again

4) Our "big ticket" purchase was a small, lightweight and slim portable DVD player (that also hooks up to Tim's i-pod) and some brand new Elmo DVDs to go with it :-)

5) To prep for the airport and airplane experience, I came across this little gem: "The I'm a Good Little Traveller! DVD Toolkit Series: Shae by Air". We haven't watched it yet (we'll pop it in tomorrow morning instead of the usual Elmo and see what happens :-)) but it sounded good. We'll let you know whether or not it was worthwhile :-)

6) Books are always guaranteed to keep Bobbin interested for a good amount of time. But hard covers and board books are bulky and quickly become heavy if you're toting more than 1. So we'll be bringing a bunch of toddler magazines like Baby Bug (which is also available in your local PCC to purchase) and National Geographic's "Little Kids" magazine for toddlers age 3-6 (Bobbin loves the photos!). Cheap and light weight, and no harm done if they go missing or get damaged. Other light weight and travel-friendly paperbacks that toddlers will enjoy include those in the DK Readers "pre level 1" and Level 1 Learning to Read series. Big real photos of people and animals, combined with the simple story make for a good toddler-read. We picked out "Petting Zoo", My Cat's Secret, and Surprise Puppy!. They're also cheap and no harm done if they get lost or forgotten.

7) What Toddler doesn't love cards of any kind? I found a card game for toddlers age 3+ called "Puppy Surprise" with pictures of Puppy in all kinds of different places. It comes with a die that I'll leave at home; but the cards are colourful and entertaining enough that she'll have fun with them as we make up our own version of the "game" to play.

And all of these combined will fit neatly into the bottom of our diaper bag, which will also contain changing essentials, and a lunch box full of snack food :-) I should also take this opportunity to pay tribute to the diaper bag itself - After 18 months of dissatisfaction with the diaper bag knapsack, diaper bag shoulder bag, and diaper bag classic bag (too big, too small, too many pockets, not enough pockets, too hard to clean, no insulated compartment, etc) I finaly found one that works. Jujube makes some great bags. They're more expensive but they're stylish and most importantly roomy, functional, and comfortable. I got the "packabe" in brown and bubblegum - which doubles as both a shoulder bag and knapsack, and is comfortable in both configurations, easily switched from one to the other, has nice magnet fastners instead of snaps or velcro, tonnes of room and easy to clean. I love it. I bought an insulated soft lunch box (standard size) and it fits in there nicely with plenty of room for diapering necessities, her favourite blanket, and some toys. And there's still plenty of room left over for wet-ones, mommy's wallet and camera and keys, and a water bottle for each of us.

Well - we're ready. We'll let you know how well these all actually work in entertaining our little munchkin. I have a high degree of confidence though :-)

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Toddler Tips: Patterned Sheets and Plastic Plates

I recently invested in some patterned sheets for Bobbin's crib. I looked at sheets with butterflies, sheets with flowers, sheets with birds, and sheets with fairy princesses and finally settled on footballs, soccerballs, and baseballs. She loves them. So much so, she asks to go "Nite-nite?" as soon as we get home. And when I put her in the crib she gets down on all fours and giggles and counts the footballs, and shouts "Boobah!" (football) and then points to the little stars (the theme is "all-star" sports) around the footballs and exclaims "Gingo Gingo!" (twinkle twinkle) and then erupts in fits of laughter.

Patterned sheets. I highly recommend investing the $9.99 (or less). Get prints of things she's interested in. She'll stay in bed longer in the morning :-)

Bobbin's new chore is setting the table. As such, I've also recently invested in some plastic tableware for all of us. Bowls, dinner plates, salad plates, cups. Plastic's not just for toddlers anymore in our household. I'll hand her plates one at a time and she'll carry them gingerly over to the table and stand on her tiptoes and reach up and set them one by one on top of the table. She can't actually see where she's putting them. Invariably they end up all clustered up on one tiny corner of the table. Likewise with forks and knives. Butter knives only, of course. But she doesn't know that... all she knows is that she's being trusted to carry the big sharp knives and set them on the table carefully. Which she does. Cups end up on their side, because she's not tall enough to set them on their base and have them stay upright. It's really quite cute to witness. And if dinner's not quite ready by the time she's done, we'll put a few extra bowls and spoons on the table "just in case we need them" :-)

Yup - those are my two toddler tips: Patterned sheets and plastic tableware!

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2 is better than 1; sometimes the extra money is worth the stress and frustration spared.

Carseat for Mommy's car: $120.

Carseat for Daddy's car: $120.

Finally finding a carseat that fits in Daddy's volkswagon Corrado and thereby greatly simplifying our lives and giving Mommy more freedom to work out at the gym after work: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard. Or in our case, Visa, since I swore 13 years ago that I would NEVER own a MasterCard again, after they screwed me with my student card. But that's another story :-)

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Parent Tip: Friendly foods for Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease

Unlike her last round of Hand, foot and mouth, with this one Baby Girl has multiple lesions in her throat and one on her tongue. Making her not all that enthusiastic about eating solids or taking a bottle. But through trial and error I've found the following foods that work,at least for Baby Girl. I think because they are soft enough, mild, and not acidic or stinging to the open sores in her mouth. And this way I can give her a bit of a variety.

- Yogurt - she's eating this by the containerful. I can't put it in her mouth fast enough. I think because it's cold, and it sort of coats the throat going down, it might feel good.
- Bananas
- Watermelon
- Cantaloupe
- Honeydew
- really well-cooked pasta
- bagels (surprisingly enough. They're chewy; not hard, I guess)
- soft tortilla

Foods that she won't eat(besides the obvious really hard foods like crackers)
- apple sauce
- strawberries
- peaches
- ground beef
- her bottle (she'll take a bit, but because of the sore on her tongue, I think it hurts to suck).

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Parent Tip: Bubblicious Bathtimes

We recently started bathing Baby Girl in the "Big Girl" bath tub. AKA mommy and daddy's bathtub.

We worked up to it in stages. When she was first born, and for the first several months, we bathed her in her baby bath in the kitchen sink. (I love our baby bath, by the way. Highly recommend it! It's the Sure Comfort Deluxe Newborn-to-Tuddler Tub and we used it extremely succesfully for 9 months, till basically she started outgrowing it). The next couple of months we bathed her in her baby bath in our bathroom, next to the tub. The last few weeks we've been bathing her in her baby bath in our tub. And finally last weekend I made the leap. I bought a no-skid bath mat (a cool blue one with fishies on it) at Target and we've been bathing her in our tub directly.

Well, with this new-found freedom (lots more maneuvering room in the big tub), combined with her ability to pull up on just about anything to get to a standing position, and a recent and sudden distaste for getting her head wet (which makes shampooing especially challenging), keeping her in the bathtub has become somewhat of a challenge. We figured out we have to save the shampooing for the very final stages, but even then it's like she knows when it's coming and more often than not lately she's taken to pulling herself up and demanding to be taken out of the tub not 5 minutes into the bath.

PCC to the rescue. Because that is where I found one of the two things that finally kept her in the bathtub. For a full 30 minutes, no less. Seated, the entire time. And enjoying it all!

This little gem is "California Baby" Calming Aromatherapy Bubble Bath. It contains french lavender, sage, rosewater, and aloevera among other ingredients. All ingredients are certified organic or sustainably harvested. And it smells so divine. It is "No Tears" and Non-toxic, free of nut oils, gluten, soy, oat, or dairy, and formulated especially for "Babies, Kids, and Sensitive Adults".

With Baby Girl's eczema, we are especially careful about any product that touches her skin. I bought some bubbles a few weeks ago - the kind you blow - and a couple landed on her bare skin, and she broke out in those spots within an hour.

So when I came across this in PCC I was hesitant but thought it might be interesting to try. And as a bonus, it also comes with a bubble wand so you can have even more bubble fun! And let me tell you, these are high quality bubbles. Not like the cheap stuff where you get maybe one or two bubbles per breath from the bubble wand. No, this thing showers you with bubbles. Big and little, rainbow-coloured, lavender-smelling bubbles. They came raining down on Baby Girl. And they have staying power. They don't pop right away. So she could try touching them and holding them when they landed on her.

And when I pulled her out of the tub, her skin was soft and smooth and not a breakout to be found, even a couple of hours later. So I know it's good for sensitive skin, because I have yet to meet anyone with more sensitive skin than Baby Girl.

So... highly recommend California Baby's bubbles. Not just for bathing in but for blowing too. And in general, the California Baby web site is worth checking out, just to learn more about their products and ingredients. I'll definitely be trying out more stuff, as it seems their claim that their "Natural, organic and sensitive skin care products" really are "Safe for eczema, allergies and diaper rash". Next on my list to try is their Suncare products, which are non-chemical and tear-free.

The second item that I found was the Sassy Bathtime Kitchen Sink. This thing is coooool. It floats in the tub and the faucet really squirts water! And it comes with all kinds of fun little accessories - a little pan, a "scrub" brush made of nice little soft towely pieces, a cup (but smartly one with holes in the bottom so that she can't drink the water from it, but can have fun watching the water strain out through the holes), a little bottle of "dish detergent" that squirts water, and a "sink" pocket that keeps stuff together. She had a blast with it. And so did I, I don't mind telling you.

Yup, between the bubbles in the tub, and the bubbles I was blowing, and the Sassy Kitchen Sink, we had a pretty good bath time! Of course, it all came abruptly to an end with a shampoo and rinse. Even the cool special no-water-in-the-eyes rinsing pitcher I bought wasn't enough. She just hates the sensation of having water poured over her head, even if it doesn't go on her face and in her eyes.

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Parent Tip: Saying bye-bye to Cradle Cap

Cradle cap. Ugly yellow flakes of goop that started appearing on Baby Girl's scalp right around the 2-month mark (and right around the time that she started developing eczema). Not all babies get it, but Baby Girl had it, and big time.

And it's not just "baby dandruff". It's ickier. Cause the flakes aren't dry but they have kind of a stickiness or oiliness to them.

Didn't matter how much we bathed her and washed her hair (and your pediatrician and all the books will tell you it has NOTHING to do with hygiene and everything to do with hormones - so if your baby gets it, it's not cause you're a bad parent or because you're not keeping her clean enough ;-)) or what products we used at the advice of various doctors, we couldn't get rid of it.

We tried slathering her head with baby oil and letting it sit for 15 minutes and then combing out the flakes and washing it. It would work temporarily but it always came back.

We tried dandruff shampoos like Selsun blue and head and shoulders, but it would have no effect.

We tried baby shampoos and they had even less than no effect.

It doesn't hurt or bother her, and it doesn't cause any problems. And it will eventually at some point go away on its own. But in the meantime it's just kinda icky.

Anyway - we were at a loss for how to deal with it and were about ready to just let it run its course (although it had been 7 months) when we discovered the Mustela line of products (I've mentioned these before). Specifically, we started bathing her in "Mustela baby relaxing bath with cleansing milk" and just using a facecloth dipped in the bathwater to smooth over her hair, with no rinsing afterwards, and the cradle cap cleared up after a week of doing this every other day! Like magic!

If you've been battling cradle cap unsuccessfully and would rather not just wait and let it take care of itself (which is perfectly ok to do) you might give this a try and see if it works for you.

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Parent tip: Caring for eczema

Baby Girl has had eczema since about 2 months of age. It's an inherited skin condition, and a personal history of asthma or hay fever or a family history of eczema increases the chances that baby will have eczema. We're not sure which side of the family she inherited hers from, but she's got it, and over the course of the last several months, through trial and error, we've found a few products that have really done a great job helping us to manage her skin and treat flareups when they occur (which is typically when she's sick).

Eucerin - We slather this on her twice daily - when she's getting dressed and before bed. When she's healthy, this does a fantastic job of keeping her skin soft and moist and preventing any kind of rash or breakout.

Mustela baby cold cream - the thickness of the Eucerin cream can make it hard to spread sometimes if the skin is a little rough and when Baby Girl does have a flareup, she tends to need a cream that goes on a little bit smoother - more like lotion (but still a cream). Mustela baby cold cream for dry skin does that. It's pretty expensive so we only use it when she's especially sensitive.

Mustela baby relaxing bath with cleansing milk - this stuff ROCKS! It's the only stuff we'll bathe her with. we buy it online at the mustela web site 6 at a time so we always have it on hand. It is soap-free and non-foaming and especially formulated for sensitive skin and to prevent drying. We use it liberally in her bath and don't even rinse it off afterwards. It also has a really nice smell and is guaranteed to relax Baby Girl.

Mustela dermo-cleansing gel for hair and body - we use this for her hair since we need to avoid getting any shampoo on her skin as that can irritate it. This too is soap-free, but can be worked into a lather, and we know first-hand that it doesn't irritate or sting the eyes.

Aveeno 1% hydrocortisone cream - I'm sure any 1% hydrocortisone cream would do, but we trust the Aveeno brand and like their products, and this stuff works like a charm so we stick with it. we only use this when we need to, to treat a flareup. Typically when Baby Girl has a flareup, one application of this on the red rough patches before bedtime and before applying the Eucerin or Cold Cream and by morning it's almost all gone. If the flareup is especially bad it can take 2-3 days of applying twice daily tends to take care of it.

Osh-Kosh B'Gosh - 100% cotton PJs - they have some really fun gender-neutral and colourful prints on their PJs and is a nice change of pace from the standard carter's baby stuff. They're also pretty affordable - especially during their sales. 100% cotton works best on Baby Girl when she's dealing with dry skin and/or a flare-up. She can wear the other stuff (which seems to be more abundant than cotton in the spring and summer months) when she doesn't have any flareups going on but I still like to try and keep her in cotton as much as possible

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New Parent Tip: Choosing the right pediatrician

I spent many hours researching pediatricians in our area, scheduling and conducting interviews, to choose the right one. I love the doctor that we selected - she's awesome. And even more than that, I love the office and all of the resources they have available.

Some tips on choosing the right pediatrician and some of the bonus resources to look out for:

1) INTERVIEW. No question is off limits! You want a pediatrician who shares your values when it comes to parenting, development, feeding, etc. For me, feeding was especially important because I knew there was a chance I would end up formula feeding, and I didn't want a breast-feeding nazi for my pediatrician if I ended up making the switch. I actually ruled out one doctor this way. Ask about EVERYTHING from feeding to discipline to parenting styles. Find someone who is going to not only have your baby's best interests at heart and as his/her number one priority, but who will also be able to offer objective support to you. She may be your baby's doctor, but you are your baby's parent and whether you breast feed or formula feed, whether you stay home with your baby or go back to work, whether you choose a nanny or a daycare, whether you choose to "ferberize" or "dr. sears" it... all of those things are your decision. Your baby's doctor can help you make informed choices, but she should also respect and support your choices and decision (but also provide objective and factual information if your choices or decisions really are not in the best interest of your baby). Your baby's health and development should be his/her number one priority, but his/her number two priority should be supporting you, the parent.

2) Location, location, location: One of the other reasons I chose my doctor's office was because it was located a block away from Baby Girl's daycare (which in turn is exactly half way between work and home. How convenient is all of that!). Convenience and location is important when you've got a vomiting and poopy baby with a 101 degree fever.

3) Off-hours support: I cannot tell you how many times I've used the 24-hour nurse's hotline/answering service. It sure beats a long drive and 3-hour (minimum!) wait in Children's Hospital emergency room in the middle of the night! Often times trips to the ER can be avoided if you are able to get professional medical advice via a nurses line or on call doctor. Consider this in your selection of your doctor's office. What off hours support do they provide?

4) Weekend hours: The pediatrician we chose works out of 1 of 6 offices that are available to patients. Although the specific office that she works in does not have weekend hours, one of the other 6 does and as her patients we have access to it and the on call doctors there. Baby Girl and I have visited the "saturday office" as I like to call it many-a-time now :-) Again - beats having to wait it out, or having to spend the 3-hours minimum at the children's ER.

5) Online services: The other thing I like about our pediatrician is their online services. Not only can I schedule well-baby visits online (convenient for me) but I can also access their online pediatric advisor database, and I have many many times. To look up everything from feeding issues, eczema, diarrhea, vomiting, fever, etc. And the advice offered there is the same advice I get from the nurse's hotline and her doctor. It doesn't replace a call to the nurse or visit to the doctor but int he heat of the moment when the instructions I was given just aren't coming back to me (how long to wait after vomiting has stopped to begin regular foods; what are the signs of dehydration; best way to treat a fever, etc) or when I'm just looking for developmental information or immunization information, or allergy information, or what to expect the next well-baby visit, I've made copious use of the online advisor database.

It is for these reasons that when Baby Girl started vomiting this morning, after I got over my initial "Oh My God!" panic, I was able to handle the situation with the right information, and without the long ordeal in the emergency room. Well worth it, if you can find it all in one place!

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Parent Tip on upgrading the car seat

A while back we "upgraded" Baby Girl's car seat from the infant seat that came with her travel system and clicked into a base in the car, to a convertible car seat (still rear facing, but supports up to 30 lbs after which converts to a front-facing seat).

We did our research on consumer reports and got a great convertible car seat that Baby Girl just loves. But we neglected one little tiny detail.

The convertible car seat doesn't have that handy sun visor to shield her from the sunlight streaming in the car windows that the infant seat did. For the most part we didn't need it; it's been pretty darn grey and dark the last couple of months. But yesterday was sunny and Baby Girl was MOST annoyed at the sunlight hitting her right in her eyes while we were running errands yesterday.

So - parent tip to avoid a cranky baby: When you buy your next car seat, unless you have a car with tinted windows, be sure to also buy something that will shield Baby from the sunlight at the same time. You can try getting those little pull-down sun shades that attach to the windows with suction cups (buy 2 or even 3 in that case so you can put them on the back window as well as the rear passenger window), or you can try a hat with a brim, or even sun glasses if Baby will tolerate them. Just get something, anything, that will help keep the sun out of her eyes so she's not completely annoyed for the duration of the car trip (because it's really not fun to be driving while you have an annoyed baby in the back seat!) And while you're at it, pick up some good baby sunscreen too since car windows typically aren't going to block the harmful UV rays from the sun either.

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Infant feeding Safety Tips for Parents

The whole "protect any surfaces you don't want caked with food" and "be prepared to get food flung all over you" and "have all of your feeding accessories, cloths, bibs, etc. laid out and ready in advance" stuff is obvious and well known. Here's one you might not think about: Remove all hand and arm jewellery before feeding "solids". Upon close examination of my engagement and wedding rings this morning (which up until now I never removed) I noticed that the prongs had become completely encased in orange "cement". Sweet potato. Mmmm mmm good.

I can't wait to take my rings in for their 6 month inspection and cleaning... the last time I took them in all the jeweller had to contend with was hand lotion.

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Sick Baby Tips and Tricks

Now that Baby Girl's back to her healthy self (knock on wood) I thought I'd take some time to write down some of the things we've learned through all of her many illnesses... some of you may have your own tips and/or different ways of handling these situations but this is what has worked for us!

Dealing with Diarrhea

- Dress baby in clothes that fasten in the front, not clothes that go on and come off over the head. Diarrhea is messy and you don't want to be getting it up her back and on her face when changing her clothes! PJs or the short-sleeve onsies that snap up the front are perfect.

- You probably have way more burp cloths and lap pads than you do diaper changing pad covers. And as I said previously, diarrhea is messy so no matter how careful you are, you're going to get some on whatever surface you're changing her on. So before you change what you will already know to be a diarrhea diaper (trust me; you'll know), cover the changing area in burp cloths or lap pads first. Then when you're done you can just toss 'em in the washer, and the changing pad cover remains unstained and you don't need to worry about washing or changing it every time you change the diaper.

- A&D Ointment rocks. Use it liberally! We've never used anything but the A&D unmedicated ointment (no zinc oxide), and we've also (knock on wood) never had a diaper rash problem, even with the worst of the diarrhea and even with Baby Girl's ultra sensitive skin. Diarrhea is really acidic on the skin and will easily irritate it. When you're done cleaning her up, apply a nice thick coating of A&D ointment all over her bottom - front and back. You can't use too much.

- Don't wipe when you don't need to. Likewise, when it's just a regular pee-pee diaper, resist the urge to use diaper wipes. Even the ones that are made for sensitive skin and contain moisturizers can be harsh on skin that is sensitive due to diarrhea.

Feeling Feverish

- Infant Tylenol is your friend! Always have some on hand in case you need to deal with a fever. Even better is the dye-free infant tylenol if you can find it. Even if baby is perfectly still and willing to let you stick a dropper full of medicine into her mouth, guaranteed a fairly significant portion is going to come back out (until you and she perfect your techniques!). Better to have the white dye-free stuff in those cases than the bright pink stuff that can stain. It tastes the same to baby but its easier on your laundry!

- Make sure you give the dose that is correct for your baby's weight. When we took Baby Girl into the emergency room for her first fever, we found out we were undermedicating her. And they said this is very very common. We were going by her last weight and dosage recommendation from her pediatrician from a month-old visit and she had grown significantly. No wonder the tylenol didn't have any effect! if you're not sure, do err on the side of caution but then also call your pediatrician's office / nurses' line to find out what the maximum is you can safely administer.

- Don't waste your money on the pacifier thermometers, or the temporal artery thermometers, or the ear thermometers. Every pediatrician will tell you the same thing - they are unreliable for young babies. The only temperatures they trust are rectal and armpit. Get a good thermometer for armpit readings. Make sure it has a backlight so you can read it in the dark or dim lighting if you need to, and make sure it beeps when it is done so you don't have to hunch over baby watching the reading to know when it is finished, and so it doesn't matter which way the display is facing while you have it in her armpit (cause she's likely not going to be enjoying the process). You also might be able to make it a bit more comfotable for her by warming up the tip of the thermometer in your hands first before sticking it under her arm.

Stuffed up

- If baby is congested or snotty she will need some help getting the snot out. Saline drops are great - we use the "Little Noses" for infants brand - to help loosen up the crusties and get things moving again. Often times we just use the drops without suctioning. When we do need to suction, rather than using the traditional bulb syringe we went out and got one that has a clear tip and removable bulb. Two reasons. 1) We can see what we're suctioning out of her nose and know whether or not we're actually being successful and can see how much gunk we're actually getting out, and 2) we can take it apart and easily wash it and see that it is clean. And it's just easier to use than the one-piece bulbs with the long tip (it's not like you're using all that length in the tip anyway; you're only suctioning her nose, not her brain!).

Doctor Visits

- Dress baby in clothing that fastens in the front for doctor visits as well. Doctor's going to likely want to listen to her heart and breathing, front and back, and will likely want to get a weight (especially if she's got diarrhea) and possibly a temperature. The last thing you want to be doing with a sick baby whose already probably stressed out about being in the doctor's office and not feeling well to boot, is having to rustle her out of her clothes, pull stuff over her head, etc. We almost always take Baby Girl to the doctor in her PJs. That way even if they don't need her completely undressed, she can be quickly unbuttoned part of the way to allow for listening and temperature taking.

Sleep

Really really really try hard to follow the sage wisdom of "sleeping when your baby sleeps" especially when she is sick. When she's not feeling well she probably won't be sleeping well at night, and if that is the case, neither will you. And you need your rest because you don't want to be getting sick too. So when she's sleeping during the day, you should be too.

Wash wash wash your hands, wash your hands and then, wash wash wash your hands, wash your hands again

- Goes without saying, obviously. But with all that hand washing your hands are going to get dry and chapped and sore. Mine did to the point where even the Aveeno "especially for sensitive dry skin" cream burned when I applied it. The only thing I found that helped keep my hands comfortable without stinging or burning was Eucerin. So make sure you have some really good, heavy hand cream (not lotion) around to slather on your hands when they get dry and chapped.

Smaller portions, more frequently

- When baby's not feeling well, especially if it is tummy troubles or fever, she's probably not going to feel like eating big meals. She'll likely be eating smaller portions much more frequently. In which case, it's handy to invest in a number of spare bottles, if you're bottle feeding, so that you're not having to constantly wash out the bottles to accomodate the more frequent feedings. It's not like you're not going to use them. we have enough so that we can get through an entire 24 hour period without having to do a wash, even during sick times. Then once a day we toss everything into the dishwasher. If we're on top of things we'll do it more than once a day. But if we're not (which is often the case when Baby Girl is sick) we don't have to stress about washing bottles before her next feeding. Obviously, if you're breast feeding this isn't an issue :-)

Anytime

- don't be afraid or self-concious to visit or call your pediatrician whenever and as often as you feel like it. Do what feels right. They won't think you're being a nuisance, nor will they think you're being paranoid or overreacting. And if they do, get a new doctor! Seriously. It's what they're there for, and they should be encouraging you to do the same. Better safe than sorry, and better to ease your worries than let them spiral out of control.

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