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Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a Tuffet
With no one to feed her cheese.
She went to bed
And bumped her head
And fell asleep on her knees.
Not kidding. This was the rhyme she sang as she skipped to her bedroom this evening. That's our little Poet Laureate.
You'll notice a theme among these stories. Don't worry; she doesn't actually require therapy. They're derived from an alternate version of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" that I told her, called "The Girl Who Cried OWWWIEEE". I made it up when we were going through this phase of Bobbin crying fake tears and claiming to be bleeding. Which we repeatedly found not to be true. None of these is the actual story I told her. Most of it is of her own creation.
As with the previously published stories, these are verbatim. All the words and "punctuation" is hers. I recorded these using a voice recording app I downloaded to my iPhone, and then transcribed them, because I can. I do type that fast. I kept the original recordings because there's some stuff that you can't get from reading them like the tone of her voice, and the dramatic pauses although I've tried to capitalize and insert punctuation to simulate it. It's really not the same though. However I also find it extremely entertaining to just read the stories later. And so I figured that the Grandmas, Grandpas, and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Mikes and other family at the very least would derive some pleasure from reading them and imagining her voice and facial expressions and hand gestures (the latter two of which you don't get from the voice recordings either, obviously! ;-)
We were home sick today and she went on a story telling rampage to help pass the time since I wouldn't let her run, bounce, tumble, skip, hop, climb, or jump because she would erupt in fits of coughing whenever she did. So after hours of colouring pictures, and then hours of watching movies, she decided to tell her own stories to entertain the two of us. You'll see that she runs out of steam near the end of each story and the stories themselves get shorter and shorter as the day wore on. I kinda like the effect.
The Girl who Ignored (sometimes also entitled "The Cannibal Chicken")
Once upon a time there was a little girl who liked to play down by the beach. And she went down to the beach. She played alone. She was very, very bored. She liked to ignore people a lot. She ignored people by saying "GO AWAY!" And she liked to be mean to each other. And she was a little girl and she loooooved her Mommy and Daddy and she came and asked her Mommy and Daddy if they could play with her, and she asked her Mommy "Can you please play with me?" and the Mommy said "No, I have to milk the chickens -- I mean feed the chickens some eggs." And then she ran over to her Daddy and said "Dad; Daddy can you play with me?" And he said "No, I have to milk the cows." And she just said "Hmmm. I think that I could ignore them." And she went over by the river, the beach I mean, and she said "GO AWAY!" And everybody came running away from her. And she was really, really bored. She liked to ignore people a lot so one day so she went down by the river where she likeded to go and she called "GO AWAY!" And something happened to her. And she cried "OWWIEEEEE" and everybody came running.
And that's the end.
The Rainbow Dancer and the Biting Dog
Once upon a time there lived a little girl that loved dancing in the rainbows, and she had no rainbows at her house 'cause she was being mean all the time. And her doggie had to listen to the rules and the little girl asked him, 'cause she had no mommy and daddy, and she thought she asked him to bite. And they didn't really bite and they didn't really listen to the words. And in the story, that was the end.
The Girl who Screamed 'OWWIEEEE'
One day there was a little, little, tiny girl. She used to be lonely. But one day long ago she thought to scream "owie". And she said "OWIEEEEE" and everybody dropped their things. They came running, running, running. They said "What's wrong?" and then the person said "Nothing's wrong. I was just bored and I wanted my Mommy and Daddy to cook me dinner and there's nobody to cook me dinner". And her Mommy and Daddy said "That's not ok. go to your room." And she went to her room and she was feeling lonely again and she thought that she'd ask her Mommy and Daddy. So she went outside and she drawed a picture and she thought to call "owie" and she said "OWIEEEEE" and everybody dropped their toys and they came running again really, really fast. And they got there to the river and they said "What's wrong?" And she said "Nothing's wrong. There's just a dinosaur pulling my hair." And the Mommy and Daddy said "That's not ok. Go to your room." She went to her room. The next morning she went up and waked up. She got her jammies off and put her clothes on and she thought she'd colour a picture outside and she thought she would call "Mommy", I mean, "owie" and she called "OWIEEEEE" and everybody in their beautiful dresses came and dropped their things and ran and ran as fast as they can and they finally got there and they said "What's wrong?" She said "I put my foot on a rock and rolled." And it didn't really happen. So she went to her room lonely again. And the Mommy and the Daddy lived happily ever after. That is the end of the story.
The Lonely Woodcutter
Once upon a time there was a woodcutter that was very lonely. And he was very, very sad. He had no kids or mom and dad. He was just an old woodcutter that was very lonely. So when he called out for a friend that he could play with nobody came. And there was no one the same age like him. And that's the end.
The Famous Colouring Prince
One day a little boy had a king and queen and he was a famous prince. And he loved his Mom and Dad and played by the river a lot. And he loved to colour. The End.
As told, verbatim, by Bobbin. Recorded March 31, 2009 at 7:25pm. 4 minutes and 4 seconds.
One day there was a bouncing bear and they lived in a rustic old forest. And it was really, really dark. And Goldilocks' mom said "Go get some rye pancakes and some syrup". And she saw a little tiny piece of wood that she could go. And she went to the woods and she saw bears. They said "ROAAAR" and she went and runned and runned and runned back home and her Mommy said "Did you get some pancakes and syrup?" And she said "Yes". She looked in her backpack. She found some. In her backpack. She didn't find some but she did find old ones.
She went and put them in the bear family. They waked up and they looked up and
DADDY'S HOME!!!!
And there was a mean bear. The End.
DADDY!!! You're HOME! Come eat dinner!
As told, verbatim, by Bobbin. Recorded March 31, 2009 at 7:17pm. 6 minutes and 26 seconds.
Once upon a time there was a princess and a mommy. The Daddy died because he was very old. And the Mommy went out to fetch flowers for the garden. She saw a big woods. She tiptoed inside the woods and the kid was still at home. She was really, really, really, happy and she thought her Mom would come home. And she didn't come home.
And she saw a BIG cave, the big Mommy did. She tiptoed inside the cave. There was a DRAGON! And she said "Let me out! Let me out!" and she cried and cried and cried. And she finally got out one day. She was really, really sad. 'Cause the kid said "Wuh oh Wuh oh!" and she went out the door. There was nobody in the house now except for the Dad. He was the only person there. [I thought the Dad was dead!] He was but the fairy made him come back.
So Daddy was the only person there. And he was really tired now, and he went out the door. There was nobody there now except for one of the fairies. It's one of the mean fairies. And the mean fairy's name was Shameeteep. That was a mean, mean name. And the mean witch cast a beautiful, beautiful green spell. And it was really, really green. And it was a mean person, a mean person that somebody had helped cast a spell on. And when the mean bad sister came out, the good fairy Maleesh pulled the mean Daddy's witch's face and it hurt and hurt and hurt.
Hey that's the pie!
And there was a party at one of the fairies' house. And when the mean fairy Kaleesh and the mean witch, the big big fireworks came and it exploded into giant, giant, GIANT rocks. And it leaved behind a big fireworks. And it was really, really scary in the movie, and everyone said "OUT!" and the people dropped their things and ran as fast as they could. And they said "What's wrong?" and one of the people said "Nothing's wrong. I was just bored because no one is playing with me". But that's not ok. "Go to your room". And she went to her room all by herself, crying very, very bad tears. And she went crying "I want my Mommy" and the people went to the river and she liked to balance on rocks and she balanced on one rock and it rolled and she accidentally got her foot stuck. And she cried and cried and cried. And her Mommy and Daddy realized she was really hurt this time. And they runned and runned and runned and runned and they finally got to the river and there was a mean witch. There was a big explosion and a very nice celebration and that was the end of the story.
Can I have more juice?
About the Author
Bobbin lives with her Mommy and Daddy on the West Coast of the United States. She loves stories - both telling them and having them told to her. She has a vivid imagination. She's fascinated by the struggle of good vs evil. She is a big fan of princesses, witches, and fairies. And explosions. She is the devoted caretaker to two dogs and two cats. She loves preschool. Her favourite dinner is Macaroni and Cheese with Hotdogs and her favourite drink is watermelon juice. Her favourite music is Rock And Roll. She's mastered her ABC's but is still learning about how to combine them into real words, so she relies on her mother to transcribe her stories for her. She has a really cool mother.
I read this one to the ladies at work. It was a hit. They want to know dates for the book tour. There's a Chapters in Belleville. That's probably the closest location to us.
Posted by Sarah on April 3, 2009 4:59 AM.She DOES have a really cool mother. Looks like she'll be taking care of you both during your retirement years when she is a rich and famous writer :-)
Posted by Jeni on April 3, 2009 11:17 PM.