Bringing Up Bobbin

Trash TV. There's nothing like it for burning calories

Nothing on tv tonight. Not even my old standby, Dr. Phil. And so I found myself working out on the elliptical to "Paris Hilton's BFF Casting Call". All I can say is

Wow.

It was just one of those cases where it was just so bad it sucked you in and you didn't realize how much time had passed. That was 60 minutes I'll never get back.

The actual series premieres... uh... sometime, on some channel. Thanks, but no thanks. But I did burn over 600 calories this evening just out of sheer perplexity that any human being would willingly, let alone enthusiastically, subject themselves to this experience.

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Yes, yes, I'm afraid I did.

Daily Show was a repeat, so tonight's hour long session on the elliptical was completed watching... wait for it... the series premiere of the new 90210.

The story lines are just as vapid as the ones in the original series; perhaps even moreso. The characters just as shallow and token. I learned some new teen lingo... "sick" is apparently synonymous with the old '80's "awesome". Sick. Dude.

But I got my 60 minutes done (which makes 2 days in a row; although yesterday's show was the season premiere of Dr. Phil). And not a moment too soon, because the next show on "The CW" was the series premiere of "Privileged". I'm proud to say I missed that one.

Oh, and "The CW" is definitely one channel that is going on the parental controls block list.

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My latest favourite web site, favourite woman, and other stuff

Factcheck.org

Although I admit to equal parts "YEAH! Nailed him/her!" and "but can I really count on over 50% of the American voters to actually care about facts?" in my reactions as I read through these on a daily basis.

Samantha Bee is my new favourite woman. SamBee for VeePee! I was just tonight able to watch the Daily Show from Thursday night where she was interviewing people at the RNC about Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter and how they were all saying that it was her daughter's decision to get married and have the baby, and Sam kept trying to get them to use the word "choice". And she really trapped one young woman there who realized instantly she was caught and couldn't get out. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

And tonight's Daily Show had me peeing my pants as one of Jon's minions was at the RNC interviewing a dude in a cowboy hat on rights for gays and the guy walked right into it and made the Daily Show interviewer's point without even having a clue. No clue. Not even a delayed clue.

Watching the Daily Show crew interview random Republican after random Republican at the convention the last three days was like watching someone shootin' fish in a barrel. They just couldn't miss.

In which case with all these dead fish floating around you'd think that the outcome in November would be obvious. But it is anything but. How scary is that?

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60 Minutes

Daily Show was a repeat, and Dr. Phil was just plain depressing and annoying (he lost me after "I need to warn everyone; this is what I do. Today is not about being on TV, not about the ratings; this is real life") which came, really, as no surprise. And so I found myself working out to "The Gossip Girls". A show I have mercifully avoided ever knowing existed until today.

This from a closet adult "Bevery Hills 90210" addict. Seriously. I used to watch that show religiously on Wednesday nights. A friend, who shall remain nameless but was also partially responsible for the kitchen fire in my apartment, and I used to get together regularly and watch the show. Granted our enjoyment came mostly from criticizing the characters, plot, and everything in between. But I still watched it every Wednesday. Right up until the series finale.

Yeah, so anyway - Gossip Girls. I'm sorry, but those "kids" are supposed to be 16...17 years old, tops? Seriously? And while Beverly Hills was already pretty far cry from any reality I've ever known, Gossip Girls is just a completely different universe. Is this what kids are watching now? Is this the current, American equivalent of Degrassi Junior High? If so, we're cancelling our satellite subscription the minute we start letting Bobbin stay up past 8pm.

I remember when I started being allowed to stay up past 8pm. It was Thursday nights, and I was in fourth grade and living in Ottawa (the first time). It was the the year Buck Rogers returned to TV in an updated series staring Gil Gerard and Erin Gray (who later would be the dad's girlfriend on Silver Spoons). The year was 1979. At 7:30pm The Littlest Hobo would come on, which all 4 of us would watch. When "Hobo" was over Sarah would go to bed, and I'd get to stay up and watch Buck Rogers on the black and white TV in the living room with Mom and Dad. Every other night of the week I still had to go to bed by 8:00. But Thursdays were special.

I can't think of a single TV show these days that's on at 8pm that I'll be ok with letting Bobbin watch when she's in fourth grade except possibly whatever is on PBS or the History, Science, and Nature channels. Maybe Star Trek if it's still on then... I say this now. But I reserve the right to have a change of opinion between now and when I actually need to worry about it.

Ah - but this post was originally about exercise. Yup - 60 minutes on the elliptical as per my plan. I'll check my weight again in 4 weeks and not before. I also reset my calorie counter with my new weight; 5 lbs lighter. That was fun :-)

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Latest aerobic musing: Has he given up on the hot dog?

Now that I'm working out for 60 minutes, I've been doing a lot more viewing of the Colbert Report. I've always liked Stephen Colbert, but just always had something else to do after the Daily Show so it slipped from my regular viewing.

In my last serious attempt to get back on the workout bandwagon before this one - back in December and January - I watched the Colbert Report pretty consistently; that's when I originally got hooked. Back then I noticed in the intro sequence, an almost subliminal graphic behind Steven that said "President Bush have a hot dog with me". It actually took me several episodes to read the full sentence, because it only barely flashes on the screen during the sequence. I always wondered what spawned that invitation. I was a newbie to the Colbert Nation then, but I still don't know the reason behind it now. However I think that I've noticed at least the last two nights, that the graphic doesn't appear in the opening sequence anymore. Either that or I'm just not paying as close attention. Sis - you're a Colbert fan - am I right about the missing hot dog invite? If so, why's he giving up now? Bush is still "president" for a few more months, officially. Anyone? Anyone out there know?

Apparently there is an online petition for getting Stephen into the white house to have a hot dog with President Bush. I came across it when searching the internets to see if I could confirm that Stephen really is asking the president to eat a hot dog with him in that intro graphic in the first place, or if I had been misreading that too :-)

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It's not a bladder problem.

Random workout contemplation as I watched tv this evening while doing my 60 minute workout.

Have you seen that Detrol commercial on tv... the one where the woman is teaching a class and keeps looking up at the clock anxiously as she waits for the bell to ring to signal the end of the school day so she can run to the bathroom and empty her bladder? And the little blue "female" symbol on the restroom door hops down off the placard and follows her into the bathroom and starts telling her about how Detrol can control that "got to go" feeling you get all the time when you have an overactive bladder. The teacher sits rapt with attention, staring into the blue circle that is the symbol's "head" as the symbol proceeds to type on the keyboard and pull the Detrol web site up on her computer.

That lady doesn't need bladder control medication. She needs to check herself in to a detox center and get off the hallucinogens.

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Charles Schultz had it nailed

We were over at the home of some friends a couple of weekends ago for dinner and a playdate with Miss E. Deciding to break a little from the norm and let the girls have a little fun we decided to picnic in the basement and watch movies instead of dining at the table.

At one point during the meal, Bobbin decided she needed to go potty. We went upstairs to use the potty she's more familiar with (Bobbin has this thing about potties. If it's loud or has blue liquid in it she will not use it. She will hold it in until she gets home. and usually by that time she has a tummy ache, and it's just stressful for all involved but that's an entirely different story).

So we're sittin' in the bathroom - Bobbin on the potty and me on the floor in front of her - when we here the sound of muffled voices emanating from the air vent in the wall next to the toilet. Apparently there's a direct line of hearing between the upstairs bathroom and the downstairs rec room via the air vent. A bit of info may come in handy for Miss E's parents when she's a teenager and talking boys and school gossip with her friends downstairs. You had to really listen though, to make out the actual words that were being spoken.

Slightly startled, Bobbin stops mid-pee and says "Mommy? What's that 'Wah wah WAH wawah wah' voice saying?" with the appropriate nasal tone to her "Wah Wah"'s.

And all I could think to reply was "Oh, That's Charlie Brown's mom talking with Debra in the basement".

I'm really confusing the heck out of her with my answers these days. It's going to come back to bite me at some point. I know it will. Much like my dad's joking pronunciation of "minestrone" as "Mine Strown" and "Gazebo" as "Gaze Bow" came back to haunt him the first time my sister tried using those words at school in front of her friends, got laughed at, and she came home embarassed and sobbing.

I'm sorry kiddo; it's genetics. Ain't nothin' I can do about it! :-)

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Harnessing the power and adreneline of emotion

Ever wonder what anger and moral outrage is worth? An hours worth is approximately 80 calories, I've discovered.

I did my usual 60 minute workout this evening on the elliptical. I've been averaging about 580 calories per 1 hour workout. Normally I watch The Daily Show followed by The Colbert Report. It's an easy hour filled with laughs and a pleasant way to work up a sweat and burn 580 calories without really noticing it too much.

Today, however, is Saturday. And neither show airs on the weekend. So I found myself surfing through the channel guide and landing on The Lifetime channel, watching a teen angst movie called "Odd Girl Out". Yeah, it's about exactly what you think it is about. Mean girls singling out the quirky and smart girl (on tv they're always cute too; totally unfair); completely ostracizing her by posting crap on the internet, luring her to fake events and then video taping her disappointed face, and eventually driving her to attempt suicide by sleeping pill overdose. It's a Lifetime movie, so it has a... uh... "happy" ending, in that the odd girl out recovers and regains the mental strength to go back to school to graduate from 8th grade with her class despite the continued mental and emotional bullying, and at the end in a crowd full of her peers, she finally confronts the main instigator and equates her to a flesh eating disease, ending the movie with the line " You have nothing I want", and walking away triumphantly with the one friend that stuck by her through everything (well, the last 15 minutes of the movie anyway; she never made an appearance in the first 45 minutes I watched. Weird. well. not really).

I ran the gambit of emotions - recalling my own pre-teen angst in grades 6-8 in particular and the constant insecurity I still maintained through high school and even university to some extent. I thought of Bobbin, today only 2 1/2 years old but someday having to run the marathon obstacle course that is middle and high school and hoping like hell she has a better time of it than I did, and is a better and strong person than I was, and that she is spared the pain and self doubt that I suffered through it all. And I was angry. Angry at the characters in the movie, even though I recognized the movie for what it was, and at the people in my real life back in middle and high school that I could cast in those same roles. And disgust and moral outrage that this crap continues in perpetuity. Lessons are never learned. Things never change. And worry because now there' s the internet, mobile text messaging, multi-party conference calling, instant video and photo uploads and mobile blogging (many technologies I am helping to sustain in the daily work I am paid to do), online "social networks", a PC on every desk and a mobile phone in every pocket, and a myriad of other "advances" that can do so much greater damage than the note passing and wall graffiti and prank calls of my youth. And how are you supposed to combat that?

And before I knew it my workout was over, and I had burned a total of 630 calories. And I was still raring to go. Luckily, the movie had another 5 minutes left so I moved over to the stationary bike and burned another 30 watching the grand finale.

It's apparently Teen Drama Weekend on the Lifetime channel. An opportunity exists for me to burn another 80 extra calories tomorrow. Of course, there's the question of whether it is mentally healthy to expose one's self to this much teen angst even if you are burning off the extra energy as you do so.

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Passe-Partout!

I'm not entirely sure what brought it to mind, but something today triggered a memory of a french-canadian TV show I used to watch as a child, called "Passe-Partout". Searching on the internet for it led me predictibly to the wikipedia, which has a pretty good synopsis of the show and its rather interesting (at least to us Canadians) history of which I had been unaware. I'm gonna have to get me some of those (legal) DVDs when they come out.

I also learned that apparently, I am part of the "Génération passe-partout" :-)

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If only I had been the project manager...

The women's team's performance on last night's apprentice was SOOO disappointing. Last night's task was to put together a technology exposition for a senior's center, and teach the residents how to use the various technologies they selected.

The guys had it right. The right selection of technologies that would appeal to their audience, familiarity with the technology they selected so they could competently and successfully teach others how to use it, the right atmosphere and attention to detail to make the event appealing so people would want to attend. Of course the one guy that asked George for his opinion (and essentially saying with his question that he thought George was part of the "senior citizen" target audience for this exposition) probably should have just kept his mouth shut. But they ended up winning in the end :-).

The women SUCKED. They picked technology that was uninteresting or inappropriate for their audience (High Definition TV with complicated space age remote controls that I wouldn't be able to operate let alone teach someone else to; heart rate monitors for tracking your heart rate during those high intensity cardio workouts that you, as someone over the age of 75, are likely to be engaging in on a daily basis - hey, don't take that the wrong way - I know there are a lot of folks who are still active well into their 80s and I intend to be one of them when I'm that age, but I doubt they'd really find wearing a heart rate monitor that interesting, and the idea was to appeal to the majority of the audience), they didn't bother to become proficient in the technology themselves before having to teach it to others, and right down to the misspelling of "technology" on the cake that they were serving, the event was poorly planned and executed.

So - here's what I think I would have picked as the technologies if I had been project manager of the women's team but first, I would have validated my choices (or changed them if necessary) by interviewing some of the people to find out more about their interests, hobbies, current lifestyle and communication methods and tools. And you can bet I would have made damn sure that each "instructor" on my team had the basics down before turning them loose to teach others:

E-mail - sending and receiving email, attaching photos, viewing, downloading and saving photos received in email

Instant Messaging - text, voice, and video - what better way to communicate with family and friends far away, especially when webcams are so cheap, and video messaging is so easy and a relatively decent experience now?

Digital Photography, picture sharing, basic blogging / online scrapbooking using something easy like MSN Spaces

Computer basics - like surfing and searching the internet, installing applications, changing you desktop picture (who wouldn't want photos of their grandkids instead of the standard Microsoft background - which incidently reminds me of the teletubbies for some reason)

Sigh.

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Let them bake cake

So several months ago, when it was first announced that Martha Stewart would be doing her own search for an "Apprentice" I put my mad MS Word clip-art editing skills to work and posted this entry.

Well, in tonight's episode, the candidates are tasked with designing, baking, and selling a wedding cake. Coincidence? Who's to say ;-) But doubtful I'll be able to take any credit for the idea. I couldn't afford the legal fees. Yet another opportunity to retire early down the drain. But I will be watching. Of course.

Sigh. Go ahead Martha. Have my cake. And eat it too.

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And another apprentice wanna-be bites the dust...

Tana disappointed me this week. I guess I spoke too soon when I praised her performance in the last episode. Abandoning her team because she needed her beauty sleep? Under normal circumstances I'm the first to say pace yourself, maintain a good work/life balance, stay healthy, don't burn yourself out or your team. But these aren't normal circumstances. These people choose to compete against 16 other "type A" personalities on national TV to be "The Donald's" apprentice. They watched the first two seasons. They knew what to expect. They all had to know there'd need to be some all-nighters. Come ON! And to actually state that she's willing to hide behind her immunity so she can get a little rest - in other words, willing for her team to fail because she know she can't be fired... so sad. I'm thinking the stamina is starting to wane. I'm sure it must be exhausting. But you gotta want it. The person who wants it bad enough is going to be the one who wins.

Kendra on the other hand surprised me. I still think she's whiney, but she got it done, and did a damn fine job. She oughtta be proud. But while I do agree she was completely abandoned by her team for the night, she also appeared to have a selective memory when it came to acknowledging what contributions her team members had made earlier in the day. And I think she probably could have done more to rally her team and pep them up and keep them going longer but instead chose to direct that energy into assuming the martyr role. But hey - in the end - they won the task so it's all moot.

Next, Craig: There WAS a vision and a theme - it was EMOTION. Duh! I got it it. The Pontiac dudes got it. Get with the program. You can't say that there wasn't one just because it didn't happen to be yours or because it wasn't a theme you liked. How quickly he seemed to forget his own run as PM where his team abandoned him because they thought his "box" idea was lame.

And as for Chris - it would appear from recent events that the little message The Donald had for Chris after firing him (watch your emotions and temper) didn't sink in, huh...

To sum it up: Apprentice is still good entertainment on a thursday night.

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What a surprise...

Apprentice contestant Chris Shelton was arrested in Tampa Florida on disorderly conduct charges.

For those of you who have been following the show you'll know Chris as the tobacco-chewing asshole who gets in everyone's face, and to whom Trump has called on more than one occasion in the board room "a loose cannon" who can't control his temper.

Somehow Chris has managed to avoid getting fired thus far despite his temper and attitude problems and general instability and unreliability.

However I think in light of this little gem we can safely assume that he doesn't go much further in the competition - according to the article, the thing that set him off on this latest meltdown was a $20 cover charge for the hotel bar. While I don't put a whole lot of stock in Trump's "interview" methodology (it just makes for some good entertainment but that's about it) I'd be totally disappointed if such behaviour, as witnessed week after week ON CAMERA, was left unchecked and ignored right up to the final episode. Come on Trump - get a clue. Would you really be ok if one of your "execs" were to have a public temper-tantrum to the point where he's actually arrested and charged over something as piddly as a $20 hotel bar cover? If that sets him off, imagine what he'll do under REAL pressure. Unless, of course, the apprentice job is just a cushy little puppet position with no real responsibility, authority, or decision-making power ;-)

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Go Tana!

Tana's definitely my pick for the next apprentice. She cracks me up, has a lot of fun with the projects, has given 200% to almost all of the assignments, has a 2-0 record as PM, and never loses her cool. She admits when she's been wrong, she motivates her team, and she gives credit where credit is due.

If only she can avoid getting picked to move to Net Worth next week. They're due for a reorg to even out the teams again, given that Net Worth has just lost their 6th assignment in a row :-)

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You're Fired. It's a good thing.

No.... can it be?

Stewart to Star in Second Apprentice

Exerpt: "Martha Stewart, you're hired. NBC, Donald Trump and Mark Burnett, the masterminds behind NBC's "The Apprentice," announced Wednesday that Stewart will host "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart," a new version of the business-themed reality show."

Ok ok... any guesses as to what the weekly tasks will be?

(My MS Word clip-art rendition of the Martha Stewart Board Room :-))

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Poor choice of wording?

The 2nd season of "The Swan" gets underway today apparently. I made it all the way through the first season without watching a single episode. Ok - I admit to being sucked in to the very last one to watch one of the ducklings gets crowned. I was channel-surfing and became morbidly fascinated by the extent of the physical changes (and I'm not talking good ol' exercise) these women were willing to undergo just to be declared the winner in a frankenstein-ian (did I just invent a word?) beauty pageant. I did NOT watch the whole episode though, I swear. Just most of it.

Incidentally, if I remember my children's lore correctly, the duckling in the story managed to grow into a beautiful swan without any artificial implantations, liposuction, bone extractions, or collagen injections. Hmm.

I guess if these women genuinely come away with some new life skills, increased confidence, and higher sense of self worth, then good for them. But we all know that's not why Fox created the show - it's just a bonus.

Anyway...

I was surfing around tvguide.com wondering what to watch this evening (why do I do this to myself? I know Monday TV sucks. I should be reading a book) when I came across the entry for "The Swan: Season 2". So I clicked for the details and this sentence caught my eye:

"Many parents may want to watch it with their younger children."

And I thought: Umm... no... many parents may want to watch Walt Disney's "The Incredibles" with their kids... I mean, it looks like an entertaining flick that adults would enjoy too. But I'm thinking not many parents are going to be hunkering down on the couch with their children and a big bowl of popcorn to watch "The Swan".

I know that's not what they meant - but I found the choice of words amusing :-)

Well... I'm off to find me a nice bed time story...Good night!

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Never Give Up your Advantage

Yes - Apprentice Season 2 has started! While I have no interest in the job they're all vying for, even if I didn't have to compete for it with a bunch of whiney, back-stabbing, every-person-for-him-or-herself think-they-know-it-all trump-butt-kissers, I have to say, I'm as hooked this season as I was last.

Bradford got fired this week, because he got caught up in the moment and in a foolish act of bravado, gave up his immunity. Even though he sold the most ice cream (or whatever the hell he did; everyone agreed he was the best but I just tuned in to watch the boardroom) it wasn't enough to save him from himself.

I never went to business school. But that has to be in the first paragraph of every business 101 text book, right? Well hell - it's not just business - Any athlete, politician, military leader or chess player will tell you the same thing: Never give up your advantage.

Ah well.

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